Why Trans Positive Representation in Porn Matters Too

Just like in any abusive situation, it’s hard to see how bad things are until you see how good they can be. In a lot of ways, that’s how I felt as I began to understand my gender and sexuality, find the courage to come out, and reflect on my time spent in the closet. Because here’s the tragic truth about what kept me from being my true self from the very beginning: I grew up transphobic. We all did. Not because we intentionally wanted to be, or even that we necessarily believed it at all, but because society at large ingrained those transphobic frameworks and myths into everything that we saw, heard, and read. And without having the internet or online communities to support us, that only made our isolation harder.

Film and television was one of the worst influences, often portraying trans people, and their bodies, not as desirable sexual partners but as dangerous “things” that threaten masculinity and heterosexuality. Media often asserted that the absolute most terrifying thing that any cis man could ever experience in a romantic and/or sexual context was realizing that the woman he thought had a vagina actually had a penis.

I certainly remember Jim Carrey and an entire SWAT team of ultra-macho cis men projectile vomiting near the end of Ace Ventura Pet Detective when they discovered that the woman they had all been pining after was tucking back a cock. I also remember an entire bar full of cis dudes bursting into uproarious laughter after Crocodile Dundee sexually assaults a trans woman by grabbing her genitalia and then exclaimed “That was a guy! Guy dressed up like a Sheila! Look at that!”

All of this, and so many more similar depictions, painted a very clear picture for me growing up: everyone believed that trans bodies were gross, scary, and a literal joke. Unfortunately, a lot of these transphobic frameworks extended to the porn I found on the internet too throughout my youth and teenage years. What I found was that the vast majority of any porn featuring trans people was laced in slurs marketing them as “trannys”, “shemales”, and “ladyboys”; all terms that I only ever heard uttered with ridicule and disgust in my day to day life.

These depictions matter because they frame not only how society views people who are gender diverse, but how gender diverse folks view themselves. The negative and degrading portrayals of trans people I saw growing up led to me spending the vast majority of my formative years anxious, depressed, lost, and deeply ashamed of my body, my sexuality, and my gender.

But it doesn’t doesn’t have to be that way. It actually wasn’t until these past couple of years, since coming out as queer and non-binary trans in my community, that I finally started to discover my own self-worth. I finally started to realize that my body wasn’t something to fear, or be disgusted with, and that I was worthy of pleasure and love.

So, in the spirit of hopefully helping somebody else out there struggling with loving themselves in a world that wants us to hate and hide who we are, here are a few resources and some dirty links to help!


Further reading right here on Mx Nillin

I’m all about working to create sexy, stimulating, queer and trans focused, sex positive content through celebrating my body and exploring my sexuality as a non-binary, non-monogamous, exhibitionist. I generally strive to write pieces that I wish had existed when I needed them. Hopefully, you may find some of them helpful too:

How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Queer Folk

Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation for People With a Penis

Panty Shopping Tips for People With a Penis Who Don’t Tuck

Mx Nillin’s Crash Pad Series Site Review

A Case For Traps, Sissies, Femboys and Crossdressers

How Non-Monogamy Looks to My Partner and I

And if you’re looking for some non-binary trans nudity from an enby person with a penis, then check out my Nudes & Lewds gallery for lots of glorious girl cock, butt stuff, and pet play!


Further reading from Other Sources

Of course, there are a lot of other really empowering and uplifting pieces out there for trans folk struggling to see themselves as sexual beings. Here are a few that I found particularly helpful in my searching:

I am a Porn Star Asking the Porn Industry to Stop Using the Term “Shemale”

How Learning About Queer Sex Taught me Self-Love [shameless self-promotion, I wrote this!]

Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped me Understand My Trans Identity

The Radical Potential of Queer Porn


Free Nudes and Sex Forums

The following sex blogs and forums offer free pornographic images, video, and/or content submitted by gender diverse folk, and often meant for queer and trans audiences.





Trans, Non-Binary, Genderqueer, and Gender Nonconforming Pay Porn

If you have a little money available, even a couple of dollars, please consider paying for your porn and supporting gender diverse adult performers and producers. Here are some of my favorite paysites and porn creators selling their work at affordable prices!

Crash Pad Series

Chelsea Poe

Sophie Ladder & Gal Pal Films

Fey Demure

Miss Jadence

Crona Valentine

Ashley Alespia

Punk Trans Queen

The Lust Garden


And if you know of any other sex workers, performers, producers, bloggers, or writers that you would recommend others check out, please feel free to share those links in the comments below. Or better yet, are you one of the above and want to promote your own work? Consider sending me a message on Twitter and I’d love to review your content for a future post!

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Mx Nillin Fucks… Jell-O!

[CW: girl cock and gelatin, NSFW]

Welcome to the second installment of “Mx Nillin Fucks…”, a new blog post series in which I stick my girl cock inside a wide variety of inanimate objects as masturbatory aids and then write about how that goes. I have no idea what is or isn’t going to make me orgasm, but I’m curious to find out and I hope that you are too!

A couple of weeks ago I got myself a nice apple pie, warmed it up in an oven, and then made sweet, sticky love to it… it sucked, but I think we all learned something from it. Maybe. Or maybe nobody learned anything, I dunno. The take away here is that I do not recommend using pie as a masturbatory aid.

Luckily, there are so many things to try and fuck still!

At the end of THIS posts you’ll find another poll listing other items I’m curious about penetrating. The item that gets the most votes, by next Friday March 31, 2017, will be what I buy and fuck next!

But enough of all that, let’s get to why you’re here. After the last post, there was a poll too, and for reasons I can only assume were motivated by sheer hatred, ya’ll chose Jello.

Substance GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Here’s what you need to know about that!


How Much Will It Cost to Fuck It?

Jell-O is cheap as fuck, ya’ll. All depends on how many packs you get, if it’s on sale, and if you get the no-name or brand name stuff. For one of those 4-serving boxes you’re probably looking at anywhere from .25¢ to, what.. $2.00 each? Whatever. I don’t care.

Anyway, I ended up buying 3 boxes of green Jell-O and 2 boxes of yellow Jell-O at $1.70 each. My partner also grabbed a really nice bunt cake pan for $7.95 because they wanted one and I wanted to try doing it with a fancy Jell-O mould.

I mean, sure, I could have gone for the 39¢ packs then driven around town to find a cheap gelatin mould but we wanted a goddamn bunt cake pan and if I’m going to stick my girl cock into a gelatinous blob then that shit is gonna be J-E-L-L-O!

So, in total, we spent about $16.00 to do this.

Don’t do that. Seriously. I can confidently say that if, for whatever reason, you want to fuck Jell-O, you can buy a single 4-serving box for, like, 50¢ and make that in a tall glass or a bowl and boom, there you go.

Total cost: $1.00 to $20.00, I guess, if you’re me. (Canadian)


How Much Prep Will This Take?

It’s fucking Jell-O.

Open the pack then dump that shit into whatever container you want to hold it while you’re fucking it, follow the incredibly simple instructions on the box, then stick it in the fridge and forget about it for a few hours.

It’s fucking Jell-O.


What Is It Like to Fuck?

Genuinely awful.

It’s cold, it’s sticky, it drips frigid sugar goo everywhere, falls apart easily and is simply not at all conducive to sexy times. Not to mention my girl cock was fucking numb ya’ll and no amount of jerking off, or thinking sexy thoughts, helped in that situation.

I got hard once at the beginning, just before fucking the Jell-O mould from the bunt cake pan, and once after taking a 15 minute break from that shit show just before trying to force my dick into the glass of Jell-O.

Here’s the thing though, peeps. Surface tension. It takes an unenjoyable amount of effort to force your dick in this stuff.

For the mould, I slid a butter knife into the side of it to make, like, a fuck tunnel for me to penetrate.

Okay. I’m gonna be straight up here. The prospect of fucking Flubber to begin with was NOT sexually exciting to me. So trying to make my girl cock erect enough to slip in that sticky heap was just not happening. Luckily, my partner is super supportive and they stepped up to whisper dirty talk in my ear while giving me a handjob in the kitchen. Schwing!

Finally, raging erection in hand, I dipped my dick in and you know what? For a split second it kinda felt like this COULD feel pretty- oh wait, nope. No. It’s not good.

The cold.

It’s just… it’s a boner killer. And I’m Canadian! I KNOW cold. I’ve experienced -50 degree Celcius winter days. Hell I’ve masturbated outdoors in, like, -30 degrees Celsius.

But this was different. This wasn’t me rubbing one out over a snow bank with a nice cloth glove on my hand. I’m actually fairly positive that this is what sex with Slimer would be like.

One full thrust in and that raging erection my partner helped me get was gone.

And my balls, oh god… they were so cold from slapping the side of that crap that they retreated inside of my body to places I don’t think they’ve ever been before. And they stayed there, for a disconcerting amount of time afterward.

I seriously thought they might never come out again. I mean, can that happen?? Can your testicles get so cold they ascend to the point of no return??

[Note: My balls are BACK ya’ll! I’ve since apologized to Sarah and Helena and they’re happily dangling between my smooth thighs once again.]

Remember the cup of Jell-O I mentioned before? Yeah, well, that wasn’t great either. Here’s my shriveled, sad penis wondering what it did wrong for me to subject it to this awfulness.

This is what real life masturbation with ridiculous things looks like folks. Sometimes it’s not so glamorous. Okay, I’m done talking about this.

2 out of 10. I’d rather fuck a pie again.

Okay let’s just vote for the next thing. It’s all warm or room temperature cause fuuuuuuuck that.


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Crossdressing Link in Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Is Sexy and You Know It!

If you play video games and read about video games then it’s pretty likely that you’ve already heard about “Gerudolink” [or “Gerudo Link”] by now. For those not in the know, here’s the run-down: Link, the main hero from the Legend of Zelda game series, crossdresses as a Gerudo (a warrior woman) during the latest game in the series titled “Breath of the Wild”.

Completely unsurprisingly, “gamers” [aka, a bunch of triggered cis dudes], are losing their shit about it as streams of homophobic and transphobic trash comments are strewn all over social media and the comments sections of most articles.

But you know what, boys? Too fucking bad! It’s canon now. And Link looks hot as fuck dressed all fem and pretty.

Look at him.



Personally, I think that Link crossdressing in game is awesome because, well, crossdressing is valid! When it comes down to it I don’t care if you are cis or trans, hating on crossdressers makes you a fucking douche. Besides, if all adult men throwing their little hissy fits just calmed the fuck down and thought about it for more than 30-seconds they’d realize that *gasp* Link has ALWAYS been an effeminate, androgynous twink.

I mean you’re playing a game as a ridiculously pretty elf boy traveling the land of Hyrule with his vast collection of colorful skin tight tunics and floppy nightcaps; and whose entire dialogue is a series of cute high-pitched squeaks, squeals, yells, and groans. And if you ever thought otherwise then you know what, it’s way past time that your desperate denial bubble was popped. Link crossdressing is about as surprising to the rest of us as the 100th time Navi says “hey, listen!”.

Besides, what all the crying adult men losing their shit over Link getting all feminized for a quest aren’t getting is that it doesn’t mean that his identity has changed… it just means that he crossdressed for a fucking quest. Maybe it’s just that one time thing. Or, maybe after the big adventure is over he occasionally slips that costume back onto his slim, androgynous figure to wear around his house… then later masturbates in it while dirty talking his own reflection.


What I’m getting at here is that Link has always been pretty fucking queer, him crossdressing is fucking rad, he fucking rocks that outfit, and also, if you can’t tell the difference between crossdressers, traps, sissies, femboys, and transgender people then that’s your fucking problem and you can either get the fuck over it, look it up, or go fuck yourself.

Actually, you know what? Just go ahead and do all three.

All of that being said, Nintendo did include another character, named Vilia, who IS in fact trans… of course, they fucked that up on every conceivable level by misgendering her, having others refer to her as a man, and generally making her the punchline of a tired, uninspired joke.

In her piece for Past Magazine, Jennifer Unkle lays the whole thing out:

The first warning sign was a merchant hiding near Gerudo Town’s gates, determined to find “the man” who managed to sneak in undetected. Sure enough, “the man” was a svelte Gerudo woman perched on the roof of a nearby hotel who spoke with an exaggerated, husky tone. Link confirms Vilia’s identity by scrutinizing her body, and is then prompted to either exclaim she’s a man or compliment her beauty. The latter convinces Vilia to sell you a convincing outfit before the wind hits her veil, revealing her beard to a shocked Link.

So, that’s garbage.

Still, I find IMMENSE delight in the thought of cis gamer boys raging out about Link crossdressing all while squirming on their couch as they try to talk down the all-telling erection popping out of their sweat stained Sonic the Hedgehog boxers.

Oh, and by the way, if this upsets you, guess what? Furiosa being the real hero of Mad Max: Fury Road, all girl reboot of Ghostbusters, crossdressing Link… all of this is just the beginning. We’re coming for everything that you love, nerds, and there is nothing you can do about it because at the end of the day you are a dying breed and the future is queer as fuck.

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