Well, holy lady balls y’all… we’re officially over half-way through #30DayOrgasmFun 2019!
“What the shit is that?” you ask?
Well, it’s a sex positive project centering mental health and wellness self-care through sexual gratification that was started by the wonderful Tabitha Rayne! The general idea is for folks to have as many orgasms as they can throughout April and to write about, or even just think about, the effects that they have on their overall mood.
And for the last 16 days I’ve been splooging all over my chest, eating my own cum, having threesomes with my partners Kate and Fal, and jerking my girl cock to nudes and lewds from my friends and peers. Like a fucking champ!
But all that is in the past, now it’s fucking part 4!
Context note: I (they/them) am in a non-monogamous, polyamorous relationship with my best friends Kate (she/her) and Fal (they/them). You’ll read a lot about them in these posts throughout the month.
You’ll also likely read about Toto (they/them), a friend of mine who I sometimes hang out with naked and talk about sex a lot with, as well as Kris (they them), a long-time friend who I’ve reconnected with in the last year and occasionally mutually masturbate with over webcam.
April 13th – More Aches and Pains
Well, no orgasm again… it’s slightly frustrating because I was so confident that I would have NO problem getting off every day for a month, but there have been some legit struggles! I think part of why I’m a little bummed out is that just a few years ago I was having multiple orgasms for weeks with, like, zero hinderances. I just had to feel the tiniest bit horny and BOOM, I was hard and squirting all over my self in no time.
Since turning 30 though, the orgasms just aren’t as frequent. Now that I’m turning 33 in a few months I’m actually finding there are some days where masturbation just isn’t in the cards at all for one reason or another. Most recently it’s been all about the back, hip, knee, and foot pain I’ve been experiencing.
The knee is from an old injury I got when I was a skating official (a referee) for Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby across Saskatchewan. [Check out my old roller derby blog if you’re curious!] The feet and hip are DEFINITELY from all of the walking I’ve been doing over the past couple of months, which has been great for exercise but I’m fucking feeling it now… and the back pain is 100% from our shitty memory foam mattress we’ve had since 2013 that is WAY past it’s prime.
Anyway, when that much of your body feels sore, it’s hard getting in the mood let alone physically jerking off. Then there have been all the days of dry skin and overwhelming stress or depression that just seriously kills my libido.
And you know what? That’s okay though! Because, like with my realizations in Part 3, it really doesn’t matter if I’m having some performance anxiety or whatever, so long as I’m still enjoying myself and centering whatever self-care works best in that moment!
With that in mind I had a wonderful evening when Fal and I went to Kate’s (who’s super sick rn) to play Pandemic (an awesome board game), watch Tank Girl, and threeway cuddle until late in the night.
That’s all the pleasure I needed!
April 14th – Talk About a Turnaround!
After getting home from visiting Kate last night I hopped into the bath to soak and relax my aching muscles at about 2:15 AM. For some reason I found myself actually getting a bit of a chubby, so, I went with the flow and tried masturbating in the bath to vids and pics of Fal sucking my cock, and me using our wand on their clit.
After watching a couple, remembering how incredible fucking them is, I had a really satisfying orgasm complete with a tummy covering, belly button filling, cumshot all over myself!
Later in the evening, I was feeling frisky again so pulled up Molly Moore’s latest Sinful Sunday post, called “What did you think about?” I REALLY fucking love this piece because of how great she is at setting the scene so explicitly, that feels so intensely intimate and engaging, in such a short post. It’s quick, it’s hot, and it leaves a lot of room for fantasizing about the scenarios she’s written along with the incredibly sexy image.
The orgasm was not hard to come by this time, and resulted in another very powerful and thick cumshot.
THANK YOU, Molly!
[NOTE: image shared with consent from Molly!]
April 15th – Thinking All This Out
I almost missed another day today. I had been running a bunch of errands, went to go see the new Hellboy with Fal and my mom, picked up a bunch of food and supplies for our cat and guinea pig, then got caught in a hail storm. By the time I got home I was pretty exhausted and wasn’t feeling it at all. To my surprise though I started feeling really horny at around 11:30 PM and ended up getting off to some good ol’ hentai manga!
It was fucking great! But also, I didn’t “need” it, you know? I enjoyed having the orgasm, as well as the process of getting there, but it was entirely because I was doing it just for me and not for a quota. Which makes me think quite a bit about my blog as a whole now…
Here’s my admission about something I’ve only just started to catch on to: sometimes I’m way too focused on the results of a sexual experience, or my self-inflicted deadline for a post, and I think I’ve been inadvertently stressing myself out.
This is especially true about my Mx Nillin Fucks posts last year. I was so conscious about fucking something even more ridiculous than the last time, and writing something hilarious, that I just started to think that I had already reached my peak with them. I even started to believe I could never make anything as good as my most popular pieces from 2017/2018. As a result, I completely missed my two year anniversary because I just felt overwhelmed about delivering something as fun and epic feeling as fucking myself with a replica of my own girl cock.
Similarly with this event that the pressure I put on myself to actually orgasm every day is making it much more of a struggle than it needs to be. Like, as soon as I actively start thinking about cumming lately, I start to lose my erection.
And that fucking sucks! Over the coming weeks I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself, be more in the moment, and just take this all as it cums… HAAHHH! See what I did there? Yeah you did!
April 16th – With a Little Help from a Friend
Today was EXCELLENT. Not only did I get to have a great chat with my friend Kris for, like, 2-and-a-half hours over skype (we try to have a talk like that at least once a week), but then we ended the conversation by jerking off together! This has been a relatively new aspect to our friendship, but it’s one I’m seriously super fucking thankful that we have.
Just talking with Kris always feels great. They’re somebody who I find doesn’t take any of my spoons. I always leave our conversations actually feeling good and uplifted… DOUBLY so now that we also frequently get off by sharing fantasies of meeting up someday and fucking each other like crazy, all while putting on a show for each other over video chat.
I always have really intense orgasms while masturbating with Kris and this time was NO exception.
Now, with less than 15 days to go for the month, my goal is not to have an orgasm a day; it’s to just masturbate in more mindful ways, with or without ejaculating, and to enjoy sexual pleasure with myself and my partners.