Whether you’re doing it because you’re really horny, or to relieve stress, or maybe just because you’re super bored, masturbation is pretty damn awesome. In fact, it’s so awesome that almost everybody does it AND I’m willing to bet that if you live in a moderately sized city then at absolutely any point in time throughout the day there is likely somebody, somewhere within your vicinity, who is masturbating.
Whether they’re in their 5th floor apartment, in a house a couple of doors down from you, sitting at their desk in their office, or quietly playing in a bathroom stall, it’s highly likely that self-pleasure is happening within just a couple of blocks of you at this very moment.
Let that sink in for a second.
Yet masturbation still remains this thing that we at best don’t talk about, and at worse actively shame, especially in regards to women.
What better time to challenge and question that stigma, while simultaneously enjoying yourself, than this month… which happens to be Masturbation Month!
Though we’re already 12-days in, it’s never too late to join the fun. Here are six things that I’ve been doing, and that I’d encourage you to consider doing too, throughout the rest of May for Masturbation Month:
1. Post and talk about it!
A bunch! Ask your Facebook friends what their favorite way to masturbate is, ask about advice for sex toys, talk about why you like to masturbate, share a masturbation story you may not have told anybody yet, and ask others to contribute as well. Or, as you’ll see below, just say that you’re going to be masturbating and see where the conversation goes.
Could just get some healthy chuckles for the super honesty of your statement, or launch a full discussion on any number of topics related to self-pleasure!
2. Don’t make excuses about it!
I don’t know about any of you but a substantial amount of the times that I am late for a party, or meeting up with some friends, it’s because I was jerking off before I left. As somebody with a lot of social anxiety, and just anxiety in general, masturbating actually really helps me chill out before I go out to socialize.
Usually, if somebody says something about me being late I’ll make up an excuse like “oh I got a phone call that I had to take”, or “I couldn’t find my car keys”, or “yeah I got stuck behind a really slow driver”, and blah blah blah. But not this month!
This month, if I’m late because I was stroking myself to orgasm, then that’s exactly what I’m going to say. For example:
Friend: “What took you so long!?”
Me: “I was bating!”
BOOM! Simple. Honest. And, who knows, maybe it will start a really great conversation with your friend(s) about how totally ordinary, relaxing, and wonderful self-pleasure can be.
3. Try a bunch of new things; or, do a bunch of the stuff you like!
There are endless amounts of masturbation techniques out there on blogs and websites. All it takes is a simple Google search and you’ll have TONS of fun things to try out.
Personally, I’ve made a Masturbatory To Do List for the month; a list of 15 things that I want to do including:
- Mutually masturbate with my partner (we do this lots already but hey, I’ll take any excuse to do it more!)
- Edge myself for at least 30-minutes before cumming.
- Try and attain a hands-free (no jerking) prostate orgasm.
- Give myself a facial! (I’ve actually never gotten a facial from somebody else before, but I do love cumming on myself)
- Spend the entirety of one of my days off naked; masturbating or playing with myself as much as I want to.
… and more!
4. If you can afford it, buy some new toys or get a porn site membership!
I recently picked up a fleshlight and have been enjoying it IMMENSELY.
If you do end up buying something for yourself, please also consider writing a review about it and posting that to your Facebook page, Tumblr, or any blogs that you may have!
As for porn site memberships, might I suggest the incredibly sexy and super queer positive content such as The Crash Pad Series. Yes, there is a lot of free porn out there, however, when it comes to queer positive, trans and gender diverse positive, body positive, kink positive, hot-as-fuck porn content I can honestly say there is nothing like Crash Pad Series out there.
5. Mutually masturbate with somebody!
Seriously, I strongly feel that we do not give enough credit or attention to how great mutual masturbation is. Over the years I’ve masturbated with a lot of people: partners, friends, hookups, and even with complete strangers on webcam. I’ve even masturbated with combinations of the aforementioned!
If you have a partner, mutually masturbating together can not only be fun, it can also help you both communicate your desires better and explore ideas for your sex life. Generally, it allows you both to talk about what makes you feel good, teach each other how to find your pleasure zones, explore some dirty talk, share your fantasies, and share what pornography you like to enjoy. Plus, you can tie in some kink play if you`d like through setting rules and giving directions for how you`d like to watch your partner masturbate. Hot, fucking, dayum!
But mutual masturbation can also be a pretty outstanding experience for you and a friend (or friends)! If you have somebody who you would like to masturbate with, and who you think may be interested in masturbating with you as well, take a chance and broach the topic. Masturbating with a friend allows you both to be naked (or partially naked) in a completely judgement free space where you can share technique suggestions, independently explore your bodies, talk about your body and/or how masturbation makes you feel, talk about toys you like or don’t like, share stories, and encourage each other to enjoy your orgasms.
6. Acknowledge and respect that some people really don’t like to masturbate.
Now, as much as I’m here raving about how awesome I think masturbation is, there are some who really, really don’t like it. And that is TOTALLY valid as well.
If you’re talking about masturbation this month and somebody mentions that they don’t care to masturbate, please avoid teasing them or berating them about it. Shaming somebody who doesn’t enjoying masturbation isn’t really any better than shaming somebody who does. Instead, I’d encourage you to seek understanding about why they dislike it.
And no, that doesn’t mean self-righteously suggesting that they are “probably just doing it wrong” or inferring that they are a prude for not enjoying it. That doesn’t mean ignoring that they don’t like it and cramming down their throats a pile of unsolicited tips on how you think they might be able to cum.
There could be any number of reasons that somebody wouldn’t enjoy masturbation and while, yes, some of those reasons may stem from feelings of shame or from how they were raised, or what their religious beliefs are, that is not always the case. Sometimes, people just… don’t care for it.
And if that sounds like you, well, I still hope that you have a most excellent month. You don’t need to masturbate to enjoy May. There’s a lot going on from some really awesome new movies coming out, to a bunch of wicked video game releases, a pile of DVDs/Blu-Rays hitting store shelves, hundreds of new books to read, and a ridiculous amount of new music to jam out to (including Radiohead’s new album!!!). Plus, it is in my opinion that May is also a great month for road trips, travel, picnics, nice walks, checking out some local events going on, and taking in any one of these night sky events.