Welcome to Day 16 of February Photofest 2019 on MxNillin.com
This was Toto’s favorite picture they took of me this month and I can definitely see why. I fucking LOVE the way I look here! Like, it’s kinda ideal body feels for me tbh. My tummy looks super cute, which is usually a huge point of insecurity for me, and there’s honestly very little that I can say to nitpick myself… which is weird because I’m usually incredibly self-conscious of all the pics I post, but I feel really good about this one!
After spending so much time on that mattress in this room over the past few weeks I’ve found myself feeling more and more comfortable with my body than I have in a long time. I think it helps that Toto has this really great knack for literally queering everything so that I haven’t felt even a hint of dysphoria at all.
At no point in time during any of the pictures they’ve taken of me, many of which are still to come, did I once feel like a “man” or a “woman”, both of which tend to happen a lot even when I take selfies. Instead, I always just felt like… Nillin! Just Nillin, of Nillin gender, wearing clothes and feeling hot in them.
The fact that I can look at this picture, at the picture posted yesterday, and the pictures coming up this week, and see myself as an aesthetic all to my own is genuinely really fucking exciting to me.
This is what gender fuckery means to me and I fucking love it.
Don’t forget to check back tomorrow for a new photo! To see unused pics from this month, advanced previews of posts, and behind the scenes content, become a patron on my Patreon.
And be sure to click the February Photofest 2019 logo below to see pics from other bloggers participating in this year’s event!