5 Things You Should Know About Me Before You Follow or Send That Friend Request

Some recent events in my personal life, resulting in people being surprised when they find out I’m an angry queer rights advocate, and strangers stepping WAY outta bounds with their messages, have led to me realizing that there are likely LOTS of folks out there who have developed an image of me based off of a single encounter, or a couple of goofy posts they’ve read, rather than from a more nuanced understanding of who I am.

I mean if you’re coming here just for Mx Nillin Fucks then chances are you only know me as that chubby, silly queer who writes hilarious posts about fucking inanimate objects. Or maybe you’ve followed me on twitter cause you saw one of my cute selfies, but you’ve completely missed my calls to rock the fucking boat or my vocal admonishment of corporate Pride.

So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to lay out some fast facts and thoughts so that you can make a more informed decision as to whether or not you’d like to continue reading my blog or following me on social media.


1. I have absolutely no time, or energy, for conditional or performative allies.

If your support and/or friendship is contingent upon some form of respectability politics where you expect me to speak about my experiences “calmly”, or “politely”, or “nicely”, then boy are we NOT gonna fucking mesh.

If you don’t like how I call out systemic oppression, or ignorant comments, or transphobic TV shows, or racist celebrities, or dismissive/invalidating/complacent “allies”, that’s too fucking bad.

If you need a head pat, or cookie, or my attention and validation for being a decent, non-bigoted person… no. Just, no.

Simply put, if you find me too loud, too outspoken, too angry, too sweary, too… whatever… then sorry, not sorry, you know where the unfriend or unfollow button is. Take care.

Here’s some further reading:

Four Signs That You Might Subscribe to the Politics of Respectability

The Rise of the Gay Bigot

Calling Yourself an “Ally” Is Not Enough

How to Tell the Difference Between Real Solidarity and Ally Theatre

No, We Won’t Calm Down – Tone Policing and Privilege

And if you really wanna “understand” why I’m so angry and queer and outspoken you can fucking find that yourself cause I’ve been writing about that shit here for years already, there’s a whole fucking section about it.


2. I don’t give a fuck about your “politically incorrect opinions” on minorities or their rights.

Do you have “conservative” views on immigrants and refugees and think they need to be more like you or “go back to where they came from”? Are you annoyed by “millennial SJWs and snowflakes”? Do you think society is “too PC”? Do you feel silenced because folks often react negatively to shit you have to say about black people? Are you just trying to express your “point of view” on  the “transgenders” and you expect that I allow you to rant about [INSERT DEHUMANIZING AS FUCK SENTIMENT YOU HEARD FROM ROSEANNE] freely because I “have to respect both sides”?

Nope. Fuck your opinion, fuck Roseanne, and fuck you.

None of that shit is welcome in the comments section here or anywhere in my social media feeds. Period. And I truly, deeply, do not give a fuck if you don’t like that I call that shit out when I see it too.


3. Um, yeah, actually, I ABSOLUTELY am an SJW, snowflake, angry queer.


I stand with Black Lives Matters, QTPOC, First Nations communities, immigrants and refugees, trans inclusive feminism, sex workers, Planned Parenthood, pro-choice movements, queer and trans inclusive sex education platforms, newcomers, and more.

I speak up about oppressive bullshit, I have no love for tone policing, and if people are saying shitty racist, sexist, queerphobic, xenophobic things then I’m gonna call that shit out, and I ain’t gonna be nice about it either. Bigots don’t get “nice” responses.

And I don’t have to be patient with ignorant folks either. I don’t care if you totally think they’re nice and willing to learn, that’s great, get them outta my face. I’m not here for them. This blog isn’t here for them. Right at the fucking top, what does it fucking say?

“A very NSFW, pleasure focused, kink friendly, sex blog for queer and trans folks.”

“… for queer and trans folks.”

“… for queer and trans folks.”


If your nice, white, cis, and willing to learn friend, Karen, enjoys something here or feels better informed about a thing, well, fan-fucking-tastic. But I don’t write for Karen. She don’t get a say in content or tone.

Basically, fuck Karen. I mean that in the “nicest” way possible.


4. I don’t owe you any answers or explanations about anything.

In fact, you’re lucky I even wrote this post in the first place because it’s more than I had to do. I’m only doing it now because I’m just gonna start fucking dropping this as needed so that I don’t have to fucking say any of it again.

Unless we are close friends or friendly peers, or we are at an event that I’m speaking at, or I have explicitly agreed to talk with you, then I don’t owe you my time (not to say that I “owe” my friends or peers my time either). If you’re reading something here but I don’t know you, then you can send your questions in a message, or a tweet, or a comment, whatever, but there’s no guarentee that I will reply. You are NOT entitled to a response just because you sent me something.

If what you have is “just a quick question”, then you can try just a quick Google search first. If you have deep, complex thoughts and feelings about something I post, that’s great, I encourage you to share them in the comments or something, but don’t expect me to devote my free time to engaging you in some debate where we both unpack our intimate baggage together. I mean, sure, that actually MIGHT happen from time to time. I do enjoy those sort of conversations with my peers and readership, but certainly not if you’re coming at it in a “justify yourself to me” manner.

I’m not justifying myself to you. Ever.

Further, if you expect me to educate you on being a less ignorant person, or to hold your hand while you half-ass your way through unpacking something shitty you’ve said or done, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. I’m not doing any fucking emotional labor for you. There are literally thousands of informative pieces out there for you to google search, read, and inform your fucking self, okidoke?


5. Reverse oppression isn’t fucking real.

Reverse racism doesn’t exist, “heterophobia” and “cisphobia” is bullshit, cis is not a slur, TERF is not a slur, white men are not oppressed, incels aren’t “misunderstood”, Nazis absolutely should get punched the fuck out, and Trump supporters are absolutely, unquestionably fuckheads. Yes, all of them. Even your shitty Uncle Garret who you totally thought was cool when you were a kid, but you’re an adult now and it’s time to accept that he’s a garbage human with horrendous morals.

That is all.


6. If any of this is off-putting to you then we were never going to work out in the first place.

“Wait, Nillin, didn’t you say there were five things? This is six!” I know, right!?!? Think I should change the title?

Nope. Not gonna do it.

I think what I’m trying to get at here is that I’m a foul mouthed, loud, eat my asshole, filthy millennial, queer, non-binary, polyamorous, unapologetic slutbag and if you haven’t figured that out yet then it was only a matter of time. So, here it is.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go jerk off to that gif of Richard Spencer getting clocked in the fucking face.

Hahahahaha, fucking splooge!

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