Why I Post My Nudes Online

[CW: girl cock and NSFW images]

One of the most frequently asked questions I get about this site is “why do you post your nudes?” The snarky side of me kind of wants to give them a deadpan look and just say “You’re welcome”, however, there are actual reasons for why my posts tend to be sexually explicit and include nudes of myself engaging in the acts described (ie; the “Mx Nillin Fucks” series, the post on Frenulum Stimulation, etc.)

So, for those curious about why this sex blog is 18+ only and why I’m putting myself out there in various states of nakedness, here are some of the reasons:

 

This blog is literally self-love and self care for me.

I spent the vast majority of my formative years genuinely disgusted with myself physically and emotionally. I had discovered masturbation at a pretty young age. I had also been making out with and masturbating with another boy, all while crossdressing in secret on occasion. But deep seeded, internalized transphobia and queerphobia led to me stifling all that as best as I could.

I was the hardest on myself after crossdressing sessions when I would become very angry with myself. I’d call myself every name and the book and tell myself that I would never, ever, ever do that again. It was weird and wrong and if I wanted to be happy I had to be normal (as in not wearing “girls” clothes and kissing boys). Of course, looking back on it I see how popular culture, film, TV, news media, and a lot of mainstream pornography reaffirmed and perpetuated those ignorant beliefs. Hell, even more insidious were my school peers, teachers/educators, mentors, community leaders, and all the other adults around me who saw queer and trans people as sub-human.

You’d think that today would be a lot better in regards to all of this, but it’s not really. Anti-trans sentiment is still extremely high. Film, television, media, comedians, etc. still treat gender diverse people like jokes. Community leaders, religious leaders, elected officials/politicians, major organizations, and celebrities still actively advocate anti-trans and anti-queer policies, laws, and violence. And sometimes the comments section of most every news story, blog, and social media posts are often overflowing with transphobic and homophobic abuse from countless people with “opinions”.

This site is my reprieve from all of that.

On these pages I work to challenge those socially ingrained anti-trans, sexually shaming messages permeating around me by creating a space that is explicitly pro-trans, pro-queerness, pro-kink, pleasure, and sexuality. Embracing, exploring, speaking about, and sharing my body on this blog has greatly improved my mental, emotional, and physical health.

It’s reclamation, really. Reclamation of my body, my gender, my sexuality, my fantasies, my kinks and fetishes, and my desires.

 

Positive, Sexual Portrayals of Queer and Trans Bodies Matter.

Images of non-binary, genderqueer, and non-conforming people, especially those with a penis, engaging in sexual activity that doesn’t focus on degradation play are very hard to come by. The vast majority of any posts about sexuality and/or gender, whether NSFW or not, tend to almost exclusively utilize imagery that is heavily cisnormative or, when trans representation does exist, it almost always values images of cis-passing models with conventionally binary gender expressions.

Other sources can be objectifying, fetishizing, or outright degrading, such as the countless adult entertainment sites and blogs that market and tag all of their content with transphobic slurs.

Imagery of a chubby, hairy, non-binary, queer person with a girl cock exploring their sexuality in affirming ways? Yeah, no, that representation ain’t easy to find anywhere. And it won’t be easy to find anywhere for anybody until more start creating and sharing it. So, here I am… creating and sharing it.

Had I seen bodies like my own in a positive light at ANY point in my life prior to now, whether during my formative years or throughout my twenties, I feel that I would have spent far less time scared, alone, depressed, angry, and self-destructive while hiding in the closet. I would have had far more incentive and validation to celebrate myself and my body.

 

To Fuck with People’s Expectations.

Because, it genuinely makes me giddy to think that somebody has read one of my pieces and seen my pictures and it just completely and utterly shattered their entire binarist belief system about gender and sexuality.

Boom! Fuck your cisnormative expectations! Behold my girl cock and hairy lady balls. You’re welcome.

 

Also, just because I want to.

Yep. Simple as that. I genuinely just want to. Part of the enjoyment of this for me is engaging in some ethical exhibitionism through my blogging [with content warnings explicitly at the beginning of posts with sexually explicit material]. Honestly, I find the thought of friends, peers, and strangers alike looking at my nudes to be super exciting.

And hey, if the allure of nudes draw in curious, or horny, readers and they end up learning something about themselves or about other forms of sexuality, then boners! I mean, bonus!

 

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Ethical Exhibitionism: Outdoor and Semi-Public Places To Discreetly Masturbate

Most of us fantasize about it, many of us have done it on occasion, yet talking about masturbation in the great outdoors can feel a little scary. However, the problem isn’t necessarily doing these things outdoors, or in public, so much as it’s the potential for others being exposed to these actions without their consent (NEVER seek out opportunities to expose yourself to people in public… that’s sexual assault and harassment… period).

But if nobody sees you do it…

Anyway, here are three locations to enjoy the thrill of outdoor self-pleasure, along with some tips for how you can get off with the absolute minimal risk for unwanted exposure.

 

Outdoor Wooded Areas

Some of you might be thinking “ugh, I live in the city and can’t just up and go masturbate in the woods!” But you CAN do that because almost every city or town has wooded areas and, honestly, they are AWESOME places to get off in. Not even kidding. It’s the best. I’m not sure what human cum does to foliage, but if there are any scientists out there researching the topic I’m positive that they could learn a lot from the incredible amounts of ejaculate that has been plastered all over nature in the parks of the world.

What’s so great about these places is that they offer a ton of coverage yet you’re still technically IN an urban setting. Once you find the right spot, you’ll be able to kick back, enjoy the breeze, hear your city bustling in the distance (depending on the time of day), all while you treat yourself to a good time. So, how do you keep your outdoor batin’ low key?

It’s pretty easy, actually. Between the trees, dense bushes, tall grass, etc. all you gotta do is go for a walk and let yourself wander off the path once you feel confident there’s likely nobody watching you. Just a minute or so into the foliage you’ll almost always find a nice little place  out of view from any joggers, walkers, and cyclists where you can become one with nature… by cumming all over it.

Pro-Tip 1: DON’T get completely naked. While your chances of being seen are rather low, so long as you are using common sense on picking a nicely concealed masturbation spot, you still want to be able to cover up and leave in a hurry should you have to. Track pants, sweat pants, loose fitting clothes in general, are great for quickly pulling up and down as needed.

Pro-Tip 2: DON’T wear bright colors. Nothing defeats the purpose of sneaky outdoor orgasms more than wearing a bright orange hoodie or the reddest jacket that you own. Instead, wear blacks, dark greys, dark blues, or maybe some forest greens. Wearing hot pink while your playing with your hot pink is just flat out foolish.

outdoor-play-time

In Your Car

There’s nothing quite like pulling off the highway onto a grid road where you can put your car into park and positively make a mess of yourself from a little self-lovin’. Alternatively, heading out at night for a little drive and finding a nice dark parking lot or side-street to yourself is guaranteed to get you off. You don’t even have to do it solo!

If you have a lover, or a friend, or whatever, who also enjoys the thrill of car ‘bating then invite them with you! For extra hotness, encourage them to play with themselves in the passenger seat while you’re driving around looking for a great spot for play time together. By the time you do find the perfect place, you’ll both be so worked up from the naughtiness, coupled with the excitement of what you’re about to do together, that it probably won’t take long before you both need to go home and get cleaned up ASAP.

Pro-Tip 1: Wait until it’s dark, that way there is a lot less traffic on the roads, practically no pedestrians around, and far more places to park where you won’t be seen.

Pro-Tip 2: If you pick a masturbation spot along a dark road, or parking lot, or whatever, DON’T leave your car running. Shut it all down so that there are no lights or sounds drawing attention to you.

Pro-tip 3: Keep a box of Kleenex in your car for clean-up!

 

In the Backyard

Whatever your living arrangements, if you’ve got a backyard and some home alone time then getting off out back  is hot as fuck too!

Pro-Tip 1: If you’re going to sit/lay outside during the day, bring a blanket and book. Wrap up in the blanket, pretend to read, and let that dominant hand bring you to climax!

Pro-tip 2: Once again for maximum safety, with the risk of getting busted still being present, wait until nightfall to sneak out back and do your thing.

Pro-tip 3: If you have any security lights, or motion detector lights out back, make sure you deactivate those before going out to play with yourself.

 

For more Ethical Exhibitionism topics check out:

Where to Find Consenting Audiences

Considerate Cum Tributes

 

NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their sexphobic anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on November 6, 2016. Click here for the full story.

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Ethical Exhibitionism: Where to Find Consenting Audiences

I am an exhibitionist.

I love being watched. Slowly undressing, teasing, exposing myself, growing hard in my panties with watchful, lusting eyes on me. My hands shaking with excitement as I caress myself, exploring what feels good, working my way down to my throbbing girl cock, all the while thinking about the audience enjoying themselves as they watch me.

MMMMM. YES, PLEASE.

Of course, my exhibitionism isn’t just sexual in nature. I also just love hanging out even partially naked. I love being naked alone. I love being naked with my partner. I love being naked with friends. No sexy times necessary.

Here’s the thing, though: there is a very big difference between inviting people to watch you or look at your naked body vs. sending an unsolicited nude or just randomly exposing your flesh to somebody who hasn’t consented to seeing it (the latter would be entering sexual assault territory… in case you weren’t aware).

So, therein lies the question. How can one fulfill their exhibitionist needs and desires in an ethical and consensual way?

As somebody who has been really exploring this over the past year or so, here’s what I have found really quenches my thirst for an audience:

 

Extend an invitation to your friends!

Not even joking here. If you’re feeling adventurous and comfortable, sometimes just putting it out there reaps great results. [NOTE: “Putting it out there” does NOT mean randomly sending a pic of your junk to somebody who didn’t express a desire to see it, nor does it mean harassing somebody into reluctantly saying yes.]

A few weeks ago I was feeling frisky and wanted to experience the thrill of somebody seeing my nudes, so, I asked my Facebook friends if anyone was down for trading. To my pleasant surprise, there were actually a few takers!

It ended up being a really great night chatting with these friends about nudity, taking sexy selfies, what makes us feel sexy, and more. Those conversations were genuinely great to have and having them with some friends, seeing them naked, and knowing that they were looking at me naked, all made for a pretty damn good time.

As a bonus, one of the peeps who agreed has always been a REALLY big crush of mine so them sharing their nudes with me, and seeing mine, was so damn hot. Seriously.

Of course, it’s never a guarantee that any of your Facebook friends are going to want your sexy pics. All that depends on everything from timing to the comfort of your pals.

But hey… you never know, right? *suggestive wink*

 

Start your own sex blog.

Before starting this MxNillin site, there was a brief time when I had a Tumblr blog where I posted all my most explicit selfies and nudes. I’m talking full on masturbation pics, anal play, cum play, the works. And it was great! I met some really cool people who were sex workers, educators, and bloggers, all while enjoying the trill of being watched by countless followers and random viewers.

Eventually, I decided it wasn’t what I wanted right now and shifted my focus to this platform instead. However, I will always look back fondly on the few months I spent mingling with Tumblr’s massive community of sex and body positive artists, kinksters, and bloggers.

The one thing I would mention is that Tumblr has kind of a passive-aggressive approach to sex bloggers that use the site. Since 2013, they have removed the erotica category, disabled search function for all adult tags, removed adult Tumblr pages from the site’s internal search functions. Makes it really hard to find likeminded people and pages when you are first starting out. It’s pretty shitty, actually… but once you find that first person you really dig, it’s easy to branch out from there to connect with others.

Also, thank you, google. Type in any adult terms you’re interested in + tumblr and you’ll be well on your way. For example: queer sex tumblr.

 

Submit nudes anonymously.

If you don’t want to commit to running your own blog but still want to get your nudes out to an audience, there are a lot of Tumblr pages and sites out there that are always looking for submissions. Find one that you feel comfortable with and edit your pic to be as anonymous as you want it to be. For an extra layer of anonymity, consider utilizing a service like Mailinator; which allows you to create a 1-time use, disposable email for submitting your pics with no link to you personally.

For any trans, genderqueer, non-binary, agender, or gender diverse readers who might want to take this avenue, I strongly suggest Transqueersxxx. The blog has been around since 2011, is ran by really awesome gender diverse people, and operates as a safe space for other gender diverse folk to express and share their sexuality with other members of the community. I’ve submitted here several times with thoroughly positive experiences. Plus, between all of my submissions I got several hundred notes from peeps enjoying my nakedness, so the audience is definitely there!

[NOTE: If you are very concerned about your identity, make sure to follow the instructions already mentioned above and also consider the background details of your photos.

For example: have you taken a lot of everyday pictures or filmed video in your living room, which would be recognizable to your friends or anyone else who may follow your social media presence? If so, taking nudes in that room may lead to people in your life finding them someday. Consider shooting in a different room instead.

If you decide on someplace like your bedroom, be mindful of any personal photos that may be visible in the background of your sexy selfie and think about changing or removing your bed-sheets. Again, this attention to detail will improve how anonymous your picture submission really is.]

Take the below photo for example…

Note the black and white filter to take out colors, the simple backdrop of the corner of what could be any room, no visible face, no noticeable tattoos or piercings, etc. This could be anybody’s butt! I mean… it’s mine… but… it COULD be anybody’s!

Anyway, these are just a few suggestions for getting down with your exhibitionist self in, what I feel are, ethical ways. Have fun, BUT be respectful and considerate.

Are there any other ideas that you would suggest? Leave a comment!

For more Ethical Exhibitionism topics check out:

Outdoor and Semi-Public Places to Discreetly Masturbate

Considerate Cum Tributes

 

NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on June 29, 2016. Click here for the full story.

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