5 Surprisingly Cool Benefits to Mutual Masturbation

Happy Mid-Masturbation month, y’all! I know I’m a little late to the party already but I’ve been busy looking after my mental health and, well, masturbating. Also, mapping out what to write about for the next couple of weeks.

Not only am I midway through eating my own cum every day this month (and tracking details on taste and texture), I’m also prepping a new Mx Nillin Fucks post and my partner is interviewing me about that feature! So, keep an eye out for those over the new couple of weeks.

What I’d like to chat about in this piece though is something that I feel is SORELY underappreciated by most. Not only is it something I rarely hear talked about among friends, or anybody discussing sexuality, but it’s something that is also just really fucking fun… to be honest. So what is the thing that I’m being unnecessarily obtuse about?

Why, it’s mutual masturbation, of course! What is mutual masturbation?

It’s the act of two or more people masturbating in the presence of one another. While purists may say that it has to be done in person, I say that’s a bunch of hooey because as far as I’m concerned mutual masturbation can absolutely be enjoyed long distance over the phone, messenger, voice chat, or any video chat services as well.

Also, contrary to popular misconception, mutual masturbation does not require you to be in a committed relationship in order to do it. No, no. Fuck that noise. You can mutually masturbate with all kinds of people, so long as everybody is comfortable and consenting. I’m talking your friend(s), roommate(s), coworker(s), classmate(s), or even a complete stranger on ChatRoulette. [Oh ChatRoulette…]

Anyway, here are five pretty cool benefits that I’ve discovered through my experiences masturbating with others:

 

It’s a Great Way to Share Your Own, and Learn About Other, Sexual Fantasies

Are you really into pet play? How about exhibitionism? Maybe you love fisting, or gangbangs, or eating ass. Have you ever wanted to dress-up like members of the Avengers with somebody and just fuck like animals because you’re about to got fight Ultron and you have no idea whether or not you’ll survive? Awesome, get some of your go to porn links together and save those to your favorites, if you haven’t already, because now would be a great time to break the ice on them.

Usually when I mutually masturbate with my partner we take turns picking out porn vids. Through this practice, I have learned a lot about their sexual fantasies and desires for really rough sex, humiliation play, and fisting, among others. Likewise, I have picked out videos that often feature exhibitionism, public sex, cum play, pet play, and, at times, some hentai or erotic furry art.

Treat it like a sort of show and tell for your kinks! You don’t even have to be in a committed relationship. If you’re masturbating with a friend this can still be a great practice in kink positivity wherein you both have the opportunity to share and talk about what excites you.

 

You Can Learn Self-Pleasure Techniques for Your Own Enjoyment That You Didn’t Know Before

Regardless of who you do it with, one of the best things about masturbating with somebody who has similar genitals as yourself is that you can learn exciting self-pleasure methods you may not have tried yourself yet! As somebody with a girl cock, I feel very fortunately to have had the opportunity to masturbate with a fair amount of people with a penis over the years. Be it a pacing thing, a creative way to use your free hand, or a specific stroking method I wasn’t familiar with, I’ve almost always managed to pick up something refreshing and fun from the ways that I’ve seen my friends and lovers jerk off.

And sure, you could learn something from just watching a solo jerk off scene too BUT, believe me when I say that masturbating with somebody who you feel comfortable with, who you can actually converse with, who you can ask questions, watch up close, be watched by, replicate the techniques of more accurately, etc. is an experience unlike any other.

My partner and I always argue over who gets to use the wand. It’s magical, y’all…

 

It Can Be a Huge Confidence Builder

When you are masturbating with a great friend, partner, or lover, don’t be stingy on the compliments! Nothing lifts confidence like some flattering remarks, so, if things seem a little on the quiet side then toss some out there to whoever you’re ‘bating with. Chances are that this will add to the overall excitement of things for both of you while simultaneously encouraging empowering remarks.

It’s not just about feeling good during sexual experiences. People tend to also want to feel attractive to whoever they are being sexual with, and like they are contributing to those exchanges in meaningful ways. So, get those balls rolling! Empower your jerk off buddy with some playful, sexy, accolades and encourage them to hand some your way too!

Overall, mutual masturbation has the potential to be a very uplifting exercise that leaves you, and your masturbating guest, feeling satisfied in more ways than one.

 

It’s a Great Way to Practice Dirty Talk

Whether you’re new to it, or a seasoned smut master with your words, mutual masturbation provides a unique opportunity to practice some dirty talk in a relatively chill environment. It actually took me quite awhile to get comfortable with dirty talking. I had never been very good at it and it just generally wasn’t something I was very confident with. While having sex, there were many instances where my partner would want some dirty talk while we were having rough sex but I just couldn’t find the words, for whatever reason.

During mutual masturbation, though, my partner slowly encouraged me to explore dirty talk through us watching BDSM scenes as we pleasured ourselves. Every so often they would lean a little closer and ask things like “wouldn’t you like to do that to me?”, “what else would you do?”, “what am I?”, etc. And, needless to say, once you start answer those questions… well, you’re on your way!

Watching porn with your jerk off buddy (or buddies) allows you the opportunity to really share and explore each other’s fantasies, kinks, and desires. Plus, it’s hot as fuck!

 

It’s a Great Way to Show Your Partner(s)/Lover(s) What You Like, And Learn What They Like Too

Mutually masturbating with somebody can provide the unique opportunity to literally give them a presentation on how you personally derive pleasure. Look at it as a prime time to really show your partner(s) or lover(s) what you like through highlighting the self-pleasure methods you use.

Is there a specific way that you like having your genitals stimulated? Cool, be sure to really highlight that as you play. Are there other areas on your body that REALLY up the pleasure you experience? Awesome, touch and/or caress those too. Personally, mutually masturbating has felt like one of the most natural times to convey how I like to be touched to my partner(s).

Likewise, there’s no better way to learn how you can more effectively get your partner(s) or lover(s) off than by watching them literally show you how they get themselves off. Pay attention and you’re sure to learn many fun tricks!

 

How about you folks? Have you mutually masturbated with anyone before? If so, what was your experience with it?

 

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A Look Back On My First Hentai Manga and the Sexual Fantasies That Stuck

[CW: sexually explicit images, discussion of content relating to sexual assault, rape, and coercive sex. I do NOT recommend this manga series to anyone who has experienced sexual trauma.]

Way back, when the internet had JUST made the switch from dial-up to broadband, and I was a tween just beginning to discover the wonders of online porn, one of the very first pieces of erotica I ever encountered was a hentai manga called Bondage Fairies.

The general idea behind the series was that it followed these two sexy, fem fairies named Pfil and Pamela who serve as hunters working to protect their forest home from a whole bunch of crap like satanic beetles, murderous shrimp, and sexually unsatisfied squirrels. No matter what the scenario was, no matter what new menace was introduced, it almost always started with them fucking each other and then quickly led to them fucking some insect(s), intelligent woodland critter(s), each other some more, themselves, or even an adult human being from time to time.

Soon enough, I also discovered there there was so much more than just the one series. In fact, there were four! You had The Original Bondage Fairies, Bondage Fairies Extreme (which had another 14 chapters), The New Bondage Fairies (WARNING: the original series contains rape plots), and The NEW Bondage Fairies: Fairies Fetish (another sizeable collection of porn comics). I’m talking well over 1000 pages of hardcore comics, ya’ll.

And this thing just had a LOT going for it including masturbation, mutual masturbation, fingering, fisting, anal, oral, face fucking, tribbing, squriting, cum eating, non-con play, masochism, threesomes, foursomes, gang bangs, orgies, nurse play, latex fetish, whips and chains, body harnesses, collars and leashes, and more.

At the time I had NO idea what even half of these things were called, let alone that there were some many other unique fetishes at play within this fantasy setting. Over the years my desires and fantasies have certainly changed and evolved but looking through Bondage Fairies again… it’s interesting to see how many of the fetishes in particular have stuck around. For example:

 

Macrophilia/Microphilia

What the fuck is that you ask? Good question!

Have you ever been looking through porn art on the internet and up pops some Disney lewds, and there’s Tinkerbelle drawn all sexy, maybe getting down with some human sized genitalia, and you’re like “damn, Tink is hot… I wonder what doing it with a fairy would be like”?

No? Okay, well it might just be me. Whatever.

The point here is that microphilia and macrophilia are sexual fantasies that involve some form of sexual arousal around very small, oftentimes miniature, beings or very large, oftentimes gigantic, beings. These fantasies can range from imagining that you are a 500 ft tall human babe using buildings as sex toys, to a human being having having their genitals rubbed down by a fairy, or, that you’re the fairy yourself, grinding up on those gigantic sexual organs to satiate the lust of your human overlords.

Is it weird? Sure. It’s weird. I’m weird, you’re weird, people are fucking weird and so are their sexual fantasies. Let’s move on.

 

Furries

Yep! While one might think of characters like Lola Bunny, Daffy Duck, or Lt. Judy Hopps as definitive of furry characters, the genre actually has a surprising amount of variety in how furries are personified. Furries that walk, talk, dress, and behave more like humans than like animals are of the anthropomorphic variety whereas characters that speak, think, and emote like humans, yet still appear far more animal [often not wearing much of any clothes and walking around on all four limbs] are what is known as “ferals”. Outside of porn settings, you might recognize a feral furry character as characters from movies like The Lion King, The Aristocats, Lady and the Tramp, 101 Dalmations, etc.

Of course, if you’ve read my blog for a while you’d know that I’ve been into furries and furry porn [often called “yiff”] for quite a while, though I’m almost exclusively in the anthro area there.

I’m less about Simba and more about Nick Wilde or Gadget Hackwrench, yo.

 

Exhibitionism, Outdoor Sex, BDSM…

…mutual masturbation, voyeurism, group sex, pegging, and so on on so forth. So okay, a lot of this shit was hot to me then and is still hot to me now, with the exception of a handful of things that have just never really done it for me personally (ie; piss play and vorephilia). The take away here is that I think it’s pretty fascinating to look back at early exposures to erotica and possibly rediscover the roots of what sexually excites me.

Unfortunately though, revisiting Bondage Fairies wasn’t all nostalgic sexiness…

 

Rape Culture

[CW: descriptions of sexual violence and manipulation] A few of the collected stories are tarnished by plots that relied heavily on sexual assault, rape, and sexual coercion “plots”. In particular, The New Bondage Fairies collection features The Rat Patrol, The Wrath of Titanos, Jumbo Shrimp, and Super Hopper, all featuring sexual assault as core parts of their story. Worse, these presentations of sexual assaults actively work to both trivialize and eroticize those actions through tired, sexist tropes that present Pfil as deep down “wanting” the sexual abuses she receives.

Further, the author broadly paints all the cis guy characters as not having any control over their sexual lust and oftentimes the other characters, Pamela included, blatantly ignore Pfil’s very clear statements of “NO” as they guilt or coerce her into sexual situations that she has explicitly expressed discomfort with. Pamela is more often than not the worst for this, taking great pride in manipulating Pfil to have sex with her or others.

So, that fucking sucks.

 

Do you remember what your first erotic media was (video, pictures, a book, comic)?

Are some of your long-held sexual fantasies and desires represented in that early erotica?

Looking back on it now, are there things about it that you see differently now?

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Ethical Exhibitionism: Outdoor and Semi-Public Places To Discreetly Masturbate

Most of us fantasize about it, many of us have done it on occasion, yet talking about masturbation in the great outdoors can feel a little scary. However, the problem isn’t necessarily doing these things outdoors, or in public, so much as it’s the potential for others being exposed to these actions without their consent (NEVER seek out opportunities to expose yourself to people in public… that’s sexual assault and harassment… period).

But if nobody sees you do it…

Anyway, here are three locations to enjoy the thrill of outdoor self-pleasure, along with some tips for how you can get off with the absolute minimal risk for unwanted exposure.

 

Outdoor Wooded Areas

Some of you might be thinking “ugh, I live in the city and can’t just up and go masturbate in the woods!” But you CAN do that because almost every city or town has wooded areas and, honestly, they are AWESOME places to get off in. Not even kidding. It’s the best. I’m not sure what human cum does to foliage, but if there are any scientists out there researching the topic I’m positive that they could learn a lot from the incredible amounts of ejaculate that has been plastered all over nature in the parks of the world.

What’s so great about these places is that they offer a ton of coverage yet you’re still technically IN an urban setting. Once you find the right spot, you’ll be able to kick back, enjoy the breeze, hear your city bustling in the distance (depending on the time of day), all while you treat yourself to a good time. So, how do you keep your outdoor batin’ low key?

It’s pretty easy, actually. Between the trees, dense bushes, tall grass, etc. all you gotta do is go for a walk and let yourself wander off the path once you feel confident there’s likely nobody watching you. Just a minute or so into the foliage you’ll almost always find a nice little place  out of view from any joggers, walkers, and cyclists where you can become one with nature… by cumming all over it.

Pro-Tip 1: DON’T get completely naked. While your chances of being seen are rather low, so long as you are using common sense on picking a nicely concealed masturbation spot, you still want to be able to cover up and leave in a hurry should you have to. Track pants, sweat pants, loose fitting clothes in general, are great for quickly pulling up and down as needed.

Pro-Tip 2: DON’T wear bright colors. Nothing defeats the purpose of sneaky outdoor orgasms more than wearing a bright orange hoodie or the reddest jacket that you own. Instead, wear blacks, dark greys, dark blues, or maybe some forest greens. Wearing hot pink while your playing with your hot pink is just flat out foolish.

outdoor-play-time

In Your Car

There’s nothing quite like pulling off the highway onto a grid road where you can put your car into park and positively make a mess of yourself from a little self-lovin’. Alternatively, heading out at night for a little drive and finding a nice dark parking lot or side-street to yourself is guaranteed to get you off. You don’t even have to do it solo!

If you have a lover, or a friend, or whatever, who also enjoys the thrill of car ‘bating then invite them with you! For extra hotness, encourage them to play with themselves in the passenger seat while you’re driving around looking for a great spot for play time together. By the time you do find the perfect place, you’ll both be so worked up from the naughtiness, coupled with the excitement of what you’re about to do together, that it probably won’t take long before you both need to go home and get cleaned up ASAP.

Pro-Tip 1: Wait until it’s dark, that way there is a lot less traffic on the roads, practically no pedestrians around, and far more places to park where you won’t be seen.

Pro-Tip 2: If you pick a masturbation spot along a dark road, or parking lot, or whatever, DON’T leave your car running. Shut it all down so that there are no lights or sounds drawing attention to you.

Pro-tip 3: Keep a box of Kleenex in your car for clean-up!

 

In the Backyard

Whatever your living arrangements, if you’ve got a backyard and some home alone time then getting off out back  is hot as fuck too!

Pro-Tip 1: If you’re going to sit/lay outside during the day, bring a blanket and book. Wrap up in the blanket, pretend to read, and let that dominant hand bring you to climax!

Pro-tip 2: Once again for maximum safety, with the risk of getting busted still being present, wait until nightfall to sneak out back and do your thing.

Pro-tip 3: If you have any security lights, or motion detector lights out back, make sure you deactivate those before going out to play with yourself.

 

For more Ethical Exhibitionism topics check out:

Where to Find Consenting Audiences

Considerate Cum Tributes

 

NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their sexphobic anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on November 6, 2016. Click here for the full story.

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