Why I Post My Nudes Online

[CW: girl cock and NSFW images]

One of the most frequently asked questions I get about this site is “why do you post your nudes?” The snarky side of me kind of wants to give them a deadpan look and just say “You’re welcome”, however, there are actual reasons for why my posts tend to be sexually explicit and include nudes of myself engaging in the acts described (ie; the “Mx Nillin Fucks” series, the post on Frenulum Stimulation, etc.)

So, for those curious about why this sex blog is 18+ only and why I’m putting myself out there in various states of nakedness, here are some of the reasons:

 

This blog is literally self-love and self care for me.

I spent the vast majority of my formative years genuinely disgusted with myself physically and emotionally. I had discovered masturbation at a pretty young age. I had also been making out with and masturbating with another boy, all while crossdressing in secret on occasion. But deep seeded, internalized transphobia and queerphobia led to me stifling all that as best as I could.

I was the hardest on myself after crossdressing sessions when I would become very angry with myself. I’d call myself every name and the book and tell myself that I would never, ever, ever do that again. It was weird and wrong and if I wanted to be happy I had to be normal (as in not wearing “girls” clothes and kissing boys). Of course, looking back on it I see how popular culture, film, TV, news media, and a lot of mainstream pornography reaffirmed and perpetuated those ignorant beliefs. Hell, even more insidious were my school peers, teachers/educators, mentors, community leaders, and all the other adults around me who saw queer and trans people as sub-human.

You’d think that today would be a lot better in regards to all of this, but it’s not really. Anti-trans sentiment is still extremely high. Film, television, media, comedians, etc. still treat gender diverse people like jokes. Community leaders, religious leaders, elected officials/politicians, major organizations, and celebrities still actively advocate anti-trans and anti-queer policies, laws, and violence. And sometimes the comments section of most every news story, blog, and social media posts are often overflowing with transphobic and homophobic abuse from countless people with “opinions”.

This site is my reprieve from all of that.

On these pages I work to challenge those socially ingrained anti-trans, sexually shaming messages permeating around me by creating a space that is explicitly pro-trans, pro-queerness, pro-kink, pleasure, and sexuality. Embracing, exploring, speaking about, and sharing my body on this blog has greatly improved my mental, emotional, and physical health.

It’s reclamation, really. Reclamation of my body, my gender, my sexuality, my fantasies, my kinks and fetishes, and my desires.

 

Positive, Sexual Portrayals of Queer and Trans Bodies Matter.

Images of non-binary, genderqueer, and non-conforming people, especially those with a penis, engaging in sexual activity that doesn’t focus on degradation play are very hard to come by. The vast majority of any posts about sexuality and/or gender, whether NSFW or not, tend to almost exclusively utilize imagery that is heavily cisnormative or, when trans representation does exist, it almost always values images of cis-passing models with conventionally binary gender expressions.

Other sources can be objectifying, fetishizing, or outright degrading, such as the countless adult entertainment sites and blogs that market and tag all of their content with transphobic slurs.

Imagery of a chubby, hairy, non-binary, queer person with a girl cock exploring their sexuality in affirming ways? Yeah, no, that representation ain’t easy to find anywhere. And it won’t be easy to find anywhere for anybody until more start creating and sharing it. So, here I am… creating and sharing it.

Had I seen bodies like my own in a positive light at ANY point in my life prior to now, whether during my formative years or throughout my twenties, I feel that I would have spent far less time scared, alone, depressed, angry, and self-destructive while hiding in the closet. I would have had far more incentive and validation to celebrate myself and my body.

 

To Fuck with People’s Expectations.

Because, it genuinely makes me giddy to think that somebody has read one of my pieces and seen my pictures and it just completely and utterly shattered their entire binarist belief system about gender and sexuality.

Boom! Fuck your cisnormative expectations! Behold my girl cock and hairy lady balls. You’re welcome.

 

Also, just because I want to.

Yep. Simple as that. I genuinely just want to. Part of the enjoyment of this for me is engaging in some ethical exhibitionism through my blogging [with content warnings explicitly at the beginning of posts with sexually explicit material]. Honestly, I find the thought of friends, peers, and strangers alike looking at my nudes to be super exciting.

And hey, if the allure of nudes draw in curious, or horny, readers and they end up learning something about themselves or about other forms of sexuality, then boners! I mean, bonus!

 

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Why Trans Positive Representation in Porn Matters Too

Just like in any abusive situation, it’s hard to see how bad things are until you see how good they can be. In a lot of ways, that’s how I felt as I began to understand my gender and sexuality, find the courage to come out, and reflect on my time spent in the closet. Because here’s the tragic truth about what kept me from being my true self from the very beginning: I grew up transphobic. We all did. Not because we intentionally wanted to be, or even that we necessarily believed it at all, but because society at large ingrained those transphobic frameworks and myths into everything that we saw, heard, and read. And without having the internet or online communities to support us, that only made our isolation harder.

Film and television was one of the worst influences, often portraying trans people, and their bodies, not as desirable sexual partners but as dangerous “things” that threaten masculinity and heterosexuality. Media often asserted that the absolute most terrifying thing that any cis man could ever experience in a romantic and/or sexual context was realizing that the woman he thought had a vagina actually had a penis.

I certainly remember Jim Carrey and an entire SWAT team of ultra-macho cis men projectile vomiting near the end of Ace Ventura Pet Detective when they discovered that the woman they had all been pining after was tucking back a cock. I also remember an entire bar full of cis dudes bursting into uproarious laughter after Crocodile Dundee sexually assaults a trans woman by grabbing her genitalia and then exclaimed “That was a guy! Guy dressed up like a Sheila! Look at that!”

All of this, and so many more similar depictions, painted a very clear picture for me growing up: everyone believed that trans bodies were gross, scary, and a literal joke. Unfortunately, a lot of these transphobic frameworks extended to the porn I found on the internet too throughout my youth and teenage years. What I found was that the vast majority of any porn featuring trans people was laced in slurs marketing them as “trannys”, “shemales”, and “ladyboys”; all terms that I only ever heard uttered with ridicule and disgust in my day to day life.

These depictions matter because they frame not only how society views people who are gender diverse, but how gender diverse folks view themselves. The negative and degrading portrayals of trans people I saw growing up led to me spending the vast majority of my formative years anxious, depressed, lost, and deeply ashamed of my body, my sexuality, and my gender.

But it doesn’t doesn’t have to be that way. It actually wasn’t until these past couple of years, since coming out as queer and non-binary trans in my community, that I finally started to discover my own self-worth. I finally started to realize that my body wasn’t something to fear, or be disgusted with, and that I was worthy of pleasure and love.

So, in the spirit of hopefully helping somebody else out there struggling with loving themselves in a world that wants us to hate and hide who we are, here are a few resources and some dirty links to help!

 

Further reading right here on Mx Nillin

I’m all about working to create sexy, stimulating, queer and trans focused, sex positive content through celebrating my body and exploring my sexuality as a non-binary, non-monogamous, exhibitionist. I generally strive to write pieces that I wish had existed when I needed them. Hopefully, you may find some of them helpful too:

How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Queer Folk

Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation for People With a Penis

Panty Shopping Tips for People With a Penis Who Don’t Tuck

Mx Nillin’s Crash Pad Series Site Review

A Case For Traps, Sissies, Femboys and Crossdressers

How Non-Monogamy Looks to My Partner and I

And if you’re looking for some non-binary trans nudity from an enby person with a penis, then check out my Nudes & Lewds gallery for lots of glorious girl cock, butt stuff, and pet play!

 

Further reading from Other Sources

Of course, there are a lot of other really empowering and uplifting pieces out there for trans folk struggling to see themselves as sexual beings. Here are a few that I found particularly helpful in my searching:

I am a Porn Star Asking the Porn Industry to Stop Using the Term “Shemale”

How Learning About Queer Sex Taught me Self-Love [shameless self-promotion, I wrote this!]

Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped me Understand My Trans Identity

The Radical Potential of Queer Porn

 

Free Nudes and Sex Forums

The following sex blogs and forums offer free pornographic images, video, and/or content submitted by gender diverse folk, and often meant for queer and trans audiences.

Transqueersxxx

GoneWildTrans

TransGoneWild

 

Trans, Non-Binary, Genderqueer, and Gender Nonconforming Pay Porn

If you have a little money available, even a couple of dollars, please consider paying for your porn and supporting gender diverse adult performers and producers. Here are some of my favorite paysites and porn creators selling their work at affordable prices!

Crash Pad Series

Chelsea Poe

Sophie Ladder & Gal Pal Films

Fey Demure

Miss Jadence

Crona Valentine

Ashley Alespia

Punk Trans Queen

The Lust Garden

 

And if you know of any other sex workers, performers, producers, bloggers, or writers that you would recommend others check out, please feel free to share those links in the comments below. Or better yet, are you one of the above and want to promote your own work? Consider sending me a message on Twitter and I’d love to review your content for a future post!

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Crossdressing Link in Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Is Sexy and You Know It!

If you play video games and read about video games then it’s pretty likely that you’ve already heard about “Gerudolink” [or “Gerudo Link”] by now. For those not in the know, here’s the run-down: Link, the main hero from the Legend of Zelda game series, crossdresses as a Gerudo (a warrior woman) during the latest game in the series titled “Breath of the Wild”.

Completely unsurprisingly, “gamers” [aka, a bunch of triggered cis dudes], are losing their shit about it as streams of homophobic and transphobic trash comments are strewn all over social media and the comments sections of most articles.

But you know what, boys? Too fucking bad! It’s canon now. And Link looks hot as fuck dressed all fem and pretty.

Look at him.

 

LOOK AT HIM!

Personally, I think that Link crossdressing in game is awesome because, well, crossdressing is valid! When it comes down to it I don’t care if you are cis or trans, hating on crossdressers makes you a fucking douche. Besides, if all adult men throwing their little hissy fits just calmed the fuck down and thought about it for more than 30-seconds they’d realize that *gasp* Link has ALWAYS been an effeminate, androgynous twink.

I mean you’re playing a game as a ridiculously pretty elf boy traveling the land of Hyrule with his vast collection of colorful skin tight tunics and floppy nightcaps; and whose entire dialogue is a series of cute high-pitched squeaks, squeals, yells, and groans. And if you ever thought otherwise then you know what, it’s way past time that your desperate denial bubble was popped. Link crossdressing is about as surprising to the rest of us as the 100th time Navi says “hey, listen!”.

Besides, what all the crying adult men losing their shit over Link getting all feminized for a quest aren’t getting is that it doesn’t mean that his identity has changed… it just means that he crossdressed for a fucking quest. Maybe it’s just that one time thing. Or, maybe after the big adventure is over he occasionally slips that costume back onto his slim, androgynous figure to wear around his house… then later masturbates in it while dirty talking his own reflection.

WE JUST DON’T KNOW, OKAY??

What I’m getting at here is that Link has always been pretty fucking queer, him crossdressing is fucking rad, he fucking rocks that outfit, and also, if you can’t tell the difference between crossdressers, traps, sissies, femboys, and transgender people then that’s your fucking problem and you can either get the fuck over it, look it up, or go fuck yourself.

Actually, you know what? Just go ahead and do all three.

All of that being said, Nintendo did include another character, named Vilia, who IS in fact trans… of course, they fucked that up on every conceivable level by misgendering her, having others refer to her as a man, and generally making her the punchline of a tired, uninspired joke.

In her piece for Past Magazine, Jennifer Unkle lays the whole thing out:

The first warning sign was a merchant hiding near Gerudo Town’s gates, determined to find “the man” who managed to sneak in undetected. Sure enough, “the man” was a svelte Gerudo woman perched on the roof of a nearby hotel who spoke with an exaggerated, husky tone. Link confirms Vilia’s identity by scrutinizing her body, and is then prompted to either exclaim she’s a man or compliment her beauty. The latter convinces Vilia to sell you a convincing outfit before the wind hits her veil, revealing her beard to a shocked Link.

So, that’s garbage.

Still, I find IMMENSE delight in the thought of cis gamer boys raging out about Link crossdressing all while squirming on their couch as they try to talk down the all-telling erection popping out of their sweat stained Sonic the Hedgehog boxers.

Oh, and by the way, if this upsets you, guess what? Furiosa being the real hero of Mad Max: Fury Road, all girl reboot of Ghostbusters, crossdressing Link… all of this is just the beginning. We’re coming for everything that you love, nerds, and there is nothing you can do about it because at the end of the day you are a dying breed and the future is queer as fuck.

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