It has been exactly a year and a day since I wrote “How Non-Monogamy Looks to My Partner and I“. A post that, at the time, broke down how, for Falon and I, non-monogamy was strictly sexual, never romantic or emotional. It consisted of sexting our online acquaintances and occasionally meeting up with friends who lived a province over for hang outs and group sex.
We were basically just into casual sex as a couple.
The idea of actually including another person into our pre-existing relationship dynamic though, let alone falling in love with them… NOT for us. In fact, the very thought of it legit scared us.
But last Fall, everything that Falon and I thought we knew about each other, about ourselves, about non-monogamy, and about love, changed with a single text from my best friend Kate.
From Friends to… Lovers?
Okay, it was more than one text. Sounded good though, right!?
Anyway, what happened was that I had a really raunchy sex dream about my best friend Kate and I planned on mentioning it in my August Monthly Refap post [the last of a monthly re-cap I used to do highlighting my published posts & sexy personal stuff going on]. But I couldn’t just put it out there without telling her. Kate had always kept a little distance from the really explicit details of my sex life because, as we were both really close friends, it made her uncomfortable.
So uncomfortable, in fact, that she used to flat out refuse to read any of my posts that contained nudes of me because she didn’t want to see her bestie in any sort of sexual situation of any kind, which is totally understandable!
Eventually, that slowly started to change though and with my post on frenulum stimulation for people with a penis, she decided that she was finally ready to look at posts with my nudes so long as they felt educational. And in the few months since she had gone back to read a bunch of the other posts I had written about my sex life with Falon, and had opened up a few times about her own too.
Still, just because she was okay with reading all of my blog posts now and occasionally talking about sex, that didn’t mean that she’d automatically be cool with me writing about some wet dream I had about her, so, I sent her a quick message; fully willing to just cut the whole thing out if she expressed displeasure. To my surprise, she was completely cool with it!
No big deal, right? I make the post, include the little little blurb about having a sex dream of my best friend that involved her giving me a blowjob (but leaving out the really juicy details), then go to bed thinking Kate will maybe have a little chuckle and that’s it.
But that WASN’T it, y’all. No, no. What I woke up to the next morning was this:
Wait… was Kate actually looking forward to hearing all the hardcore details of me dream banging her?
So, obviously I send her a much longer version and to my surprise once again, she’s really into it. She’s so into it that later in the day, after some more back and forth, she tells me that she masturbated to the description of my dream.
Within 48-hours from when I originally told Kate I had the dream, she, Falon, and I, are full on sexting with each other, sending each other nudes, talking about what we want to do to each other, and masturbating to orgasm together over messenger.
Minds, fucking, blown!
From Sexting to Regular Threesomes
Things escalated pretty quickly from our three-way sexting session. Kate was all-in on wanting to experience her first ever threesome with Falon and I… but we lived in another city. Lucky for us all though, a move was coming, so, we just had to wait a couple months.
For weeks we talked about it, each of us listing things we’d always wanted to try. Flirting, staying up all hours of the night sending each other sexually explicit texts and masturbating together online, became the norm between us as we worked toward building and maintaining sexual excitement.
Finally, after a stressful move and long overdue change of community, we were living near Kate. No more than 5 days after settling in she came over to look at our new apartment and… well… we fucked! Hard. I’m talking Falon going down on her while I made out with her and sucked on her nipples, then they both took turns giving me a double blowjob until I ejaculated so hard it flew over my shoulder and hit the wall behind our bed.
In a post I wrote shortly after that night, I concluded:
“We’re hooking up with Kate again this weekend. I don’t know how often, or for how long, this will go on, but you know what? That’s okay. Fal and I are just excited to have her as a part of our sex life right now and we’re okay with that lasting for however long feels right for us all.”
It has been nearly 4-months since then. That’s 4-months of playing around with a wide variety of group sex acts, including giving the Eiffel Tower position a go, and while it was always supposed to just be about casual sex between friends somewhere along the way the lines got blurred.
Before Falon and I knew it, we had fallen in love with Kate.
How Does Non-Monogamy Look to You Now?
Well, for starters, its not just Falon and I anymore, there’s also Kate.
Yet even though the three of us are intimately involved, not a lot about any of our lives has drastically changed. Falon and I are still married and living together. Kate, who doesn’t want to get married, or move in with anybody else, lives on her own about 15-mins away from us.
Falon and I go over to Kate’s place a couple of times a week (pending how busy life is), often staying overnight and all sleeping together in the same bed. Sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don’t. We enjoy having date nights as a triad: going out for dinner, going for drinks and karaoke, and going to the movies.
None of our personalities have changed. We’re all still the best of friends and we chat about the same things we always have. The only difference now is that we’re also romantically and sexually involved too.
And this whole process of loving each other as friends, and then loving each other as MORE than friends, has been incredible. Honestly, despite all that society says about poly relationships being chaotic and unsustainable, we’ve experienced the complete opposite. Everything about our relationship has felt natural, calm, fulfilling, and enriching.
Going back to that “How Non-Monogamy Looks to My Partner and I” post, I want to leave this update off with a rewrite of that posts conclusion:
I don’t really know how our relationship will look a year from now, let alone in a month or even a week, but I don’t need anything more than what I have now and I am completely confident that Falon, Kate, and I will continue to explore what we’ve created together with consent, honesty, openness, respect, and consideration for each other.
Fuck yeah, polyamory!