Hey y’all! Back with another wicked guest post for the Blogger Love Language writing prompt this month on the blog! This one from the always badass Nebulous Mermaid, who I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for a few years now and seeing their growth as a confident, queer, sexy as fuck adult content creator, and all around awesome person! Hope you all enjoy and please leave them some comment love after reading!
NOTE: Nebulous Mermaid’s pronouns are they/them/their.
When I first started sex-blogging in late 2015, I never thought I would still be doing it today, but honestly I’m glad that I am. I’ve learned a lot of things in 4 years and gone through massive amount of mental and spiritual growth. One of the hardest things for me to learn was how to safely and comfortably set boundaries for myself.
When I started I hated my body, just hated myself in general, and I was very new to everything. Posting nude selfies on Tumblr was my way of trying to gain confidence and to learn to love myself. I didn’t see immediate results and I got down on myself a lot, but once I started to self advocate and speak up a little more I noticed things started to get easier.
Being a plus size, queer, autistic sex-blogger has never been “easy” but lately, especially this year, putting up necessary boundaries has helped me a lot. I used to respond to every single “hey babe” and “wats up sexy” that came my way, but quickly I realized how exhausting and dehumanizing it was to humor every horny cis-guy (mostly) who paid any attention to me.
I used to think that just because I was posting nude pictures on the internet that it was my job to respond to them and try to have an actual conversation when 90% of them just wanted to see more nudes.
The nsfw tumblr community was what helped me fully figure out my gender identity and it was the first place I started using they/them pronouns. I wasn’t really adamant about them at first and a lot of people used the wrong pronouns but I was way too shy to correct them at first.
As time went on and I got more confident about setting boundaries I made a point to correct or teach someone and if they couldn’t accept it then I just blocked them and moved on knowing they weren’t worth my time.
I’ve blocked or ghosted more people than I can count and I used to feel really bad about it and think that I was a horrible person, but I’ve realized lately that my own mental health and well-being is far more important than any random person on the internet.
Having set boundaries and explicitly stating my level of comfort with certain things has gone a long ways for my mental health and daily life. Yeah, I’m sorry I ever spent 2-3 years humoring people who viewed me as nothing more than a means to a “happy-end”, but those experiences also taught me what NOT to do in those situations and I’ve learned to adapt and grow.
I have noticed since switching over to Twitter that people are a lot nicer and more respectful but there will always be those I won’t, and frankly just can’t interact with. I definitely don’t see myself stopping running my nsfw twitter any time soon because despite the weirdos I’ve also met some lovely and wonderful people.