Why I Don’t Put a Period After the “Mx” In “Mx Nillin”

Fact: the vast majority of people I have interacted with throughout my life do not respect, or even acknowledge most of the terminology I used to describe myself, or that other non-binary or gender nonconforming people use for themselves either.

Also fact: most people will either pointedly, defensively, or aggressively, work to undermine the language that I and other queer and trans people use in an effort to reassert the language that THEY think we should use, all while expecting that I accept and respect their self-descriptors and terminology.

And that’s like…

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In my experience, people in general have a tendency to desperately cling onto “grammar”. They use it as justification for their invalidating, degrading, and dismissive behaviors toward trans and queer folx who make them feel uncomfortable, who scare them, or who they just dislike due to the generally ignorant and discriminatory belief systems they were raised under.

Those who adamantly believe in the absolutes of men and women, masculinity and femininity, or gay or straight, love to weaponize grammatical rules, dictionaries, memes, and to attack,silence, and repress anyone that dares exist outside of those parameters.

It’s fucking exhausting, to be honest.

I can’t even begin to tell you how often that people (both cishet and LGBTQ+) rant at me about my “made up, bullshit identity”, and my “made up, bullshit pronouns”, and “made up, bullshit terminology”. I can’t even begin to tell you how many self-ascribed allies insist that the way that I identify, and the way that I have transitioned, is somehow destroying the politics of the left.

Meanwhile, there are members of my own fucking community who also insist that I’m just some PC, special snowflake asshole out to ruin everything for the gays and “real trans people” by asking for such ludicrous things as basics rights and protection too, bodily autonomy, self-identification, to please not misgender me and use my pronouns, please. “It’s people like you that made Trump win the election,” I’m told by a gay man with a generic “love wins” profile pic. I know that he’s a gay man because he made very sure to preface his shitty comments with “as a gay man I feel that -”

Coolio.

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But fuck that. I’mma do me.

In early 2015, I took my first major step toward self-actualization and began using they/them/their pronouns (much to the distress of my family and some old friends).

If you don’t want to use those pronouns for me because [INSERT SHITTY EXCUSE HERE] that’s fine. You can lick my butthole while you’re at it.

Most recently, in early 2016, I moved to drop the misgendering honorific “Mr.” (which is still forced down my throat by most service providers, banks, and the Government of Canada), rejected the equally misgendering honorific “Mrs.” (which some tried to apply to me as they assumed I was a trans woman), and began utilizing the gender neutral “Mx.” It became a part of how I understood myself and introduced myself in general.

Eventually, “Mx. Nillin” became “Mx Nillin”. Why?

Because, fuck American honorific rules. Fuck cisnormative grammar rules in general, to be honest.

Think this is petty to post about? You know what else is petty? The countless people who insist on commenting on how I got my own name and honorific wrong because “grammar”.

No. It’s Mx Nillin, get over it.

And yes, I’m well aware that “Mx” is now acknowledged as acceptable in the Oxford English Dictionary. Well, fuck the Oxford English Dictionary too.

Your identity is valid. Your pronouns are valid. The terminology and language that you use to understand yourself and describe your experiences are valid. No fucking dictionaries or writing styles have any official say in any of that.

But don’t mind me. I’m just that angry queer.

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Mx Nillin’s Monthly Refap: June 2017

[CW: Nudity, at the end of this post is a sexually explicit photo depicting oral sex.]

Lots of mixed feels this month as my newsfeeds were flooded with the pinkwashing, tone policing, respectability politics and rainbow splattered corporate banners that have become the heart and soul of Pride Month. It’s extra frustrating watching your community march alongside politicians only there for the good press, carrying disingenuous signs with hollow platitudes like “Love wins”, and grandstanding abusive businesses, all while white lesbian and gay folks actively silence and minimize those who are most vulnerable and marginalized. Wouldn’t want to ruin the party, right?

When Pride is all about making money and prioritizing the comfort of funders, sponsors, and allies… then who is it really for?

When your services and programming is more focused on making your allies, and the most privileged in your community, feel comfortable at the expense of marginalized people… then who are they really for?

When you are hosting your events in spaces that make your marginalized members feel unsafe, at times they cannot be there, and for costs that are unaffordable to them… then who are you really centering?

When you discount and disregard valid expressions of grief, pain, suffering, fear, and anger from marginalized people speaking out against transphobia, racism, harassment, police violence, and systemic oppression… then who are YOU really standing for?

But, I digress. Rather than sit and stew about all of this I instead chose to channel my frustrations into a number of posts, projects, and engaging more with my followers and other queer and trans folx around Saskatchewan. And despite some rough experiences with misgendering, deadnaming, harassment, and tone policing from peeps, this past month was arguably my most productive and successful in a long while.

 

Blog Related Stuff

Once again the new Mx Nillin Fucks post, which will center my efforts to masturbate with a pool noodle, was put off for another month. Instead, my focus turned to reflecting on this blog on a whole, asking myself about what I hoped to accomplish, why it was that I started writing about sexuality, and better focusing in on my pursuits. Ultimately, this is a blog for queer and trans folx written by a foul-mouthed, slutty, androbabe with a PROUD girl cock and I intend to keep it that way. Over the next few months I hope to branch out with some other projects and work too so keep an eye out here for updates! Anyway, now for the new content from this month:

 

A Re-Do on Trans Day of Remembrance, Sex Ed Porn Reviews, Nudes From a Handsome Man, and Blowjob Pics

  • Early in June my partner and I traveled to Regina to table Mx Nillin at the TransSask Support Services 2017 Gender Fair. As part of that display, I made a sexy new blog info sheet to use at future events.
  • A week later we went live on Facebook to read out the names of TDoR 2016 victims for those in Moose Jaw who were upset about them not being read at the memorial service last November. It was very important to us, and others, that their names were said aloud here. During our live post we talked at length about how trans people are erased and invalidated in death by news media, coroners, police, obituaries and their families. We also discussed how TDoR is first most and foremost a memorial service for trans and queer folk to grieve those lost and honor their memories. Say their names, y’all…
  • I was invited to watch and tweet about Crash Pad Series’ Episode 240, starring Andre Shakti and Dante DeMoan, and Episode 241, starring Surgeon and Maggie McMuffin. Tweeting about them marked my 1-Year Anniversary of participating in the #SexEdPornReviews feature for Crash Pad Series!
  • Okay this one is actually from the end of last month but I was sexting with a handsome man, who I’ve been acquaintance friends with for a while now, and he sent me dirty messages and lewd pics and vids and I’m kinda all about them. And I know that you’re reading this… my inbox is always open so… *suggestive wink*
  • My partner and I have long planned to take blowjob pics and those FINALLY happened! We may have made a short vid too, but that one’s for sharing with friends only. Anyway, check out my fave from the set below in this month’s slutty pic.

 

Mx Nillin’s Slutty Pic of the Month

This month’s pic guest stars my partner with their amazing blowjob skills! Here they are sucking my girl cock.

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The Other 25 Facts About My Queer Sex Life

Red Hot Suz recently did a 50 Fun Sex Facts About Me post, which I thought was pretty cool so I decided to do one too; but I split mine in half. The first 25 facts were posted last week and for those who’ve been waiting for the rest, here is 26 through 50!

  1. I very, very rarely wear any underwear.
  2. I absolutely refuse to tuck my girl cock, especially for any social expectations. I embrace my bulge.
  3. I love wearing butt plugs during road trips.
  4. I really want to start writing hardcore queer and trans erotica on the blog.
  5. Since coming out as queer and trans I have been degraded and rejected by half of my immediate family and most of my extended family. I no longer have contact with them.
  6. Blowjob porn is my go-to for quick fapping.
  7. I am a furry. My fursona is a femme, queer deer.
  8. I kinda love waking up with morning wood.
  9. I’m primarily a dom in the bedroom, but I like to switch on occasion.
  10. My partner and I have had sex in a lot of exciting places. Some of my faves have been: an outdoor tennis court, a baseball dugout at night, and in the dark along the Saskatchewan river as a party boat drifted by.
  11. When I was a tween I was strangely turned on by Kaa from the Jungle Book.
  12. I also masturbated to Lola Bunny a lot.
  13. Okay, I still masturbate to Lola Bunny a lot.
  14. According to those who have tasted it, my cum is generally flavorless & nice to swallow.
  15. I did my first ethical cum tribute to a friend a couple months ago & fucking loved it.
  16. Since then I’ve fantasized about people doing cum/ejaculate tributes to me too. Cum on my nudes, please!
  17. After I move away from my current city, I plan to more seriously consider sex work.
  18. On numerous occasions I have fantasized about being abducted by extraterrestrials, and used as their fuck toy.
  19. I also frequently fantasize about sex with robots.
  20. I used to be obsessed with my cock size. Since coming out as queer and trans, my insecurity around my girl cock is now almost completely non-existent.
  21. My partner and I certainly do struggle with jealousy at times in our non-monogamy, but we feel compersion [experiencing pleasure from watching my partner receive pleasure] far more often.
  22. My partner and I are nude 95% of the time that we’re home. 
  23. When I was quite young I had a urethral stricture, a condition where the urethra narrows, and I had to have a non-surgical procedure done involving dilators. It was horrible. Moving on.
  24. My first exposure to porn on the internet was hardcore hentai.
  25. I’m really excited to eat ass for the first time soon.

But enough about me, what sex facts would you have on your list?

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