Ethical Exhibitionism: Considerate Cum Tributes

A cum tribute, also known as a “sop”, is a sexual act that involves an individual masturbating to, then ejaculating on, a still image of somebody that they find attractive. People doing cum tributes tend to ejaculate on printed photos, magazines, or even tablet, laptop, or photo screens; and then take a photo of the cum soaked image so that they can post it online… and that’s what I’d like to talk about today.

NOTE: Did you know that squirt tributes are a thing too? Booya. [Link is 100% NSFW]

Honestly, I personally find the base concept of a cum tribute to be pretty hot and under certain circumstances I’d kind of love it if somebody cummed on a photo of me. But that’s just it, there is a big difference between uploading somebodies picture covered in ejaculate, without their knowledge or permission, vs. me giving consent, and actively requesting, that somebody cum tributes me.

Look, you know and I know that nothing I say here is going to stop you from cumming on whatever picture you damn well want to; and it’s not my intention to talk you out of, or to shame you for, doing so because honestly, I’ve cum on ALL sorts of stuff too. In fact, I love cumming on things. Food, collectibles, myself, my partner, the floor, a wall, a tree, anything, really.

However, I do hope to discourage you from photographing and posting that messy picture of your friend’s selfie because, chances are, they were not aware that you pleasured yourself to their vacation photos and posted explicit imagery of their cum splattered likeness online for their friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, prospective employers, etc. to potentially see.

That’s not cool. In fact, that’s sexual harassment.

You see, I don’t feel there is anything inherently wrong with cum tributes. It’s fantasy play. It’s a fetish act. I get that. I’ve masturbated to MANY photos of celebrities and people I know in my day to day life and, on occasion, I’ve either accidentally or intentionally shot my load all over those images. Hell, I masturbate to friends and acquaintances on Facebook all the damn time. But what I don’t do is pull out my cell phone and take a picture of my semen on a print-out of my coworker, then post that on some random Tumblr page.

To snap pictures of your genitals by a print out of somebody’s face smiling at prom, or, to cum all over a photo of them relaxing on the beach in their bikini, and to then post that all over the internet, is to involve them in sexual activity without their consent.

That’s not to say that you can’t enjoy a cum tribute at all. Here are a few options of how you can do a cum tribute considerately:

 

Just Don’t Post Them

So, you ejaculated on a picture of your roommate, or your favorite celebrity, or your ex, or whoever. Cool, sounds like a fun time! No need to post it anywhere though. Doing so isn’t a “tribute” of your lust for this person, it’s extremely inconsiderate and a legit form of sexual harassment to the person who’s likeness you just soaked in your bodily fluids for all to see. Consent isn’t just for person-to-person sexual contact, it should be extended to ALL forms of sexual acts including those online such as sexting, camming, and yes, cum tributes.

Besides, if you really, really, REALLY want to post a picture of your cum on another picture, there are ways to do that respectfully…

 

Register at an Ethically Run “Tribute” Community

Behold! The TributeMe subreddit; a genuinely awesome place where users [typically cis women] go through a verification process designed to ensure that the only photos they are uploading are of themselves [not somebody else], and, that they are fully consenting to other users [typically cis men] posting cum tributes to said photo or images that they provide. Honestly, it’s magical and this is EXACTLY what the base concept of ethical exhibitionism is all about to me: practicing exhibitionism with consent and consideration.

Take this thread for example, the original poster has already been verified so any images she posts are of her. She opens her thread celebrating that verification, posts a picture of herself naked, and invites everybody to in turn to post pictures and/or videos of themselves ejaculating onto that original photo of her naked body. Consent is given and all those participating are doing so in an extremely hot, yet surprisingly respectful, manner!

How fucking cool is that?! THANK you, TributeMe. I’d love to see an explicitly queer version of this some day. If that already exists, PLEASE tell me cause I want to go to there.

But we’re not done! There are still other options too, like…

 

Post Cum Tributes of Animated or Drawn Characters

Seriously. There is literally an endless supply of sexy fictional characters out there from video games, animated movies/shows, anime, comic books, graphic novels, etc. that you can cum all over and post those gloriously messy pictures all over the internet to your hearts desires.

Jessica Rabbit, Nightwing (mmmm Dick Grayson), Liara T’soni, Lara Croft, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Batgirl, fuckin’ Wolverine, the entire goddamn cast of World of Warcraft, etc. there are countless hand-drawn, digitized, animated, or 3D models for you to cum on and post away knowing that you’re not potentially harming a living person.

Here are some I did to Lola Bunny and Lady Sylvanas Windrunner:

You know who gets hurt by you posting a picture of your ejaculate on shirtless Bruce Wayne from the Batman comics? Nobody, because he’s not real… well, except for maybe the artists who might see their hard work being used for wank material. Sorry, illustrators and animators!

One more time for those in the back: exhibitionism can, and should, be practiced with consent and consideration.

 

For More Ethical Exhibitionism topics check out:

Where to Find Consenting Audiences

Outdoor and Semi-Public Places to Discreetly Masturbate

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Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation for People With a Penis

Well hello there people with a penis, or people who just want to learn more about the penis! Have you ever heard of the frenulum? It’s okay, I hadn’t either until earlier this year. But if this is an area of you penis that you haven’t yet explored I HIGHLY recommend that you look into because if yours is even half as sensitive an erogenous zone as mine is… then you need to get on playing with that, stat!

 

What the hell, and where the heck, is this “frenulum”?

Quick 101 time! The frenulum is a band of tissue located just under the glans penis (the “head” of your penis) that attaches the foreskin to the penis itself. It is often cited as one of the most sensitive places on a penis.

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For those who are circumcised, you may or may not have much of your frenulum left depending on how your circumcision was done. In most North American circumcisions, the frenulum is almost completely severed and removed along with the foreskin.  As such, everybody’s penis will have varying levels of sensitivity depending on any number of factors that may or may not include circumcision.

If you do have a frenulum, cool! If you do not, cool! Whether you’re circumcised or not, have your frenulum or don’t, these factors do NOT determine your virility or sexual function. You are not “broken” and your penis is still awesome either way! [Unless you don’t like your penis, then, boooooo penises!]

 

Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation

If the frenulum does end up being a pleasurable revelation for you (you’re welcome) then here are a few more ideas for you to explore either on your own or with a partner(s), play friend, fuck buddy, whatever!

 

Pro-tip 1: Let the person(s) you’re having sex with know about how much you like stimulation on your frenulum. In fact, let them know about all of the areas that you like, or don’t like, being touched! Great, healthy, communication in the bedroom involves feeling comfortable and confident in expressing your sexual needs with anybody you may be engaging in sexual activity with. Encourage them to play around with ways that they may stimulate your frenulum during foreplay, oral sex, and/or with toys.

For those perhaps giving oral to a person with a penis, release the damn Kraken with your tongue! Seriously. Let it wander. Do circles. Drag it all around the underside of the penis head and listen out for those gasps, moans, etc. to cue you into whether or not you’re hitting the right spot.

Note: if you are engaging in sexual activity with a queer identified person who has a penis, be sure to ask them how they would like their genitalia referred to! For many queer and trans folk, developing and using appropriate terminology for their body can be an extremely liberating and positive journey toward healthy self-discovery. For example; my penis is my “girl cock”.

 

Pro-tip 2: Get a vibe. Any vibe, seriously [so long as it is body safe]. Using vibrating toys (eggs, vibrators, bullets, or wands) on the frenulum is honestly divine. I’ve gone full play sessions experiencing all sort of pleasure waves and mini-orgasms with a well placed vibe on the shaft of my girl cock.

I HIGHLY recommend the Shibari Wand for frenulum stimulation. It is body safe, lightweight (for a wand), rechargeable, and economical. About a week ago, after my partner was casually playing with my girl cock for about half-an-hour on the couch they then went and grabbed our Shibari Wand. With it set to the high, sustained vibration setting, they grabbed my girl cock and held the Shibari to my frenulum. Less than 5-minutes later I had, I kid you not, the most intense full body orgasm and the messiest, most powerful cumshot I’ve had in months. How powerful? Over the shoulder powerful. No jokes, we had to cut some of my hair afterward because I shot that high and far.

Great thing about the Shibari vibe too is that there are a lot of settings that play with intensity level and vibration patterns as well. So you have some room to experiment with what feels the best to you.

 

Pro-tip 3: If you don’t own, or have a means of acquiring, a vibe of some kind that’s okay too. Many people enjoy and have experienced orgasm from frenulum stimulation with use of their good ol’ fashioned fingers and hands. It just takes patience, practice, and persistence in exploring exactly what makes you feel best. Some individuals can achieve orgasm from softly rubbing, or “strumming”, their frenulum for a sustained period of time with their fingers.

 

Pro-tip 4: Be creative with using other fabrics and items as stimulation aids! For example, wearing a pair of cheap wool gloves or a soft winter mitt while playing can potentially add whole new levels of pleasure (just take your time and keep an eye out for skin redness, soreness, or irritation).

Using a pair of panties, or underwear, or any other item of clothing you don’t mind getting messy, could also help. Alternatively, if you have any stuffed animals or soft pillows to rub up against, consider trying them out too! You never know what feels great until you try!

 

Hump away, friend!

 

NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their sexphobic anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on November 14, 2016. Click here for the full story.

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Mx Nillin’s Monthly Refap: October 2016

I really enjoyed doing September’s Monthly Refap as it allowed me the opportunity to reflect on a lot of the big developments happening in my life right now. Between my internship, experiencing transphobic estrangement from family, going through a lot of career upheaval, heavy struggles with mental health, feeling lost in my transition, and finding myself receiving a number of exciting opportunities, it would be easy for me to become overwhelmed and to retreat or breakdown. Instead, taking stock of it all feels a lot better!

So, what have I been doing besides playing copious amounts of Battlefield 1 on PS4? Well…

 


Blog Related Stuff

NOTE: On November 24, 2016, my original blog was permanently suspended by WordPress because of their anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. Due to this, all of the links below are no longer functional. But, each of the below posts have been rescheduled for future Thursday updates!

Starting near the end of September, through early October, I was pickup up steam with posting about once every 3 or 4 days. However, midway through the month I got HELLA sick, which took a whole lot of the wind out of my sails for a solid week-and-a-half. Boo. But I was able to find the energy to get in one last post just before Halloween! Here are all of the posts that went up this month:

 


Sex Ed Stuff

This month I got site access privileges for the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH) so that I could schedule my own posts during the remainder of my Fall internship.  I put together a Week in Review post for October 14 as well as a Word of the Week post on Orgasmic Meditation.

Having access to the site has really empowered me in my intern role and has helped me feel a lot more useful overall. It has also allowed me to help other members of the CSPH staff with quick page updates or site additions when they’re too busy to do those little tasks.

I’m now hard at work helping to go through their LGBTQIA+ support page to update links and add new resources.

Aside from my internship work, a lot of my focus this past month has been on reading the work of other sex bloggers to learn from their unique approaches toward talking about sex and just get a sense of how to write effective interviews and product reviews.

While there are a lot of really outstanding sex toy review blogs out there, what I’m really digging are the more contemplative and introspective blogs. In particular I’m REALLY enjoying Formidable Femme and Echo Explores‘ writing as of late. A lot of their content just really speaks to me and inspires me to think way outside my own perspectives and experiences.

Girly Juice‘s blog also continues to be a huge favorite of mine because there are frequent updates and you get everything from personal experience pieces to advice posts, sex songs, and fun write ups on what sort of sex toys she imagines her favorite TV show character uses. Plus, I’ve learned a LOT about spanking and impact play, which is something I never really thought about extensively or explored much until seeing her posts.

 


More Queer Porn, the Tate Modern Museum of London, Cat Tails, and Cum Photography

– I participated in two more #SexEdPornReviews panels for the Crash Pad Series. Both were really hot in distinctly different ways. Episode 224 (featuring Vivi Marie, Sal Marquez, & Luka Peona) consisted of an awesome three-some chock full of facesitting, cocksucking, rimming, handjobs, and great communication, while Episode 225 (featuring Eden Alexander & Chelsea Poe) had a very different feel as it showcased stellar sub/dom talk, a great display of basic BDSM accessories, and what were quite possibly my favorite orgasms of the year.

– In “holy shit this is awesome” news, over the October 21-23 weekend my essay How Learning About Queer Porn Taught Me Self Love was among a handful of written pieces selected for the BEDFELLOWS: Porn as Pedagogy exhibit at the Tate Modern Museum in London, England. Holy shit, right!?

– For the first time ever, I had an orgasm and ejaculated from having my frenulum stimulated with a Shibari wand. I’ve been tryign to get there for a long time but it just wasn’t happening before. But this weekend my partner was playing with my girl cock all afternoon while we were hanging out on the couch, teasing me, even edging me. After about a half-an-hour she pulled out the Shibari, place it on the frenulum just below my cock head and, like, 3 minutes later I’m a cum covered, whimpering mess. It was fuckin’ awesome!

– Earlier in the month I ordered my first ever tail and ears on Kitten’s Playpen. The whole set is REALLY cute, comes with a grey tail, matching ears, a pink and grey collar, as well as a pink tail bow. Seriously can’t wait until it gets here to wear on days I want to feel pretty. Oh, and to take adorably slutty photos with.

– Coincidentally, I find myself feeling more and more drawn to fur and yiff art and communities. I’ve been seriously contemplating commissioning an artist to draw up a furry for me based upon myself. A cute, sexy, nerdy, furry version of Mx Nillin who can make appearances in some posts on the subject as I write about it! Some of my favorite art styles include the work of Hensa, vagab0nda, ozoozou, and pollo-chan. Unfortunately, most of them are not taking commissions any time soon and I’d really like a cute, sexy, Mx Nillin fur drawing within the relatively near future. If anyone has any recommendations of furry artists with similar styles who would not be opposed to sexy, bordering on 18+ commissions, please let me know!

– As mentioned last month, I always regretted deleting my old sex work blog after feeling shamed, intimidated, and pressured to do so in order to serve in a public leadership role and avoid “controversy”. Well, I restarted it up under a porn pseudonym and I’m feeling REALLY great about it! It’s not something I’ll be sharing publicly but it’s something I’ve been super excited about and I’d just like to encourage anyone out there thinking about posting their own anonymous nudes to do it. Don’t shame yourself or let other do it for you. You have every right to express your sexuality however you desire (within legal boundaries of course).

– I’ve always loved cum. I love the way it feels, the way it tastes, and most of all, the way it looks splattered all over just about everything. Lately I’ve started taking pictures of my cum after ejaculating and, as weird as it may sound, there have been some pretty beautiful and erotic resulting photos. Not really sure where I’m going with any of this, but I’ve been sharing some of them on my Twitter, if you’re interested.

 


NILLIN’S SLUTTY SELFIE OF THE MONTH

Another booty shot, this one of candid, sleepy, Nillin. I mean, who wouldn’t want to climb up on that in the morning? I know I would!

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