Mx Nillin’s Monthly Refap: October 2016

I really enjoyed doing September’s Monthly Refap as it allowed me the opportunity to reflect on a lot of the big developments happening in my life right now. Between my internship, experiencing transphobic estrangement from family, going through a lot of career upheaval, heavy struggles with mental health, feeling lost in my transition, and finding myself receiving a number of exciting opportunities, it would be easy for me to become overwhelmed and to retreat or breakdown. Instead, taking stock of it all feels a lot better!

So, what have I been doing besides playing copious amounts of Battlefield 1 on PS4? Well…


Blog Related Stuff

NOTE: On November 24, 2016, my original blog was permanently suspended by WordPress because of their anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. Due to this, all of the links below are no longer functional. But, each of the below posts have been rescheduled for future Thursday updates!

Starting near the end of September, through early October, I was pickup up steam with posting about once every 3 or 4 days. However, midway through the month I got HELLA sick, which took a whole lot of the wind out of my sails for a solid week-and-a-half. Boo. But I was able to find the energy to get in one last post just before Halloween! Here are all of the posts that went up this month:


Sex Ed Stuff

This month I got site access privileges for the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH) so that I could schedule my own posts during the remainder of my Fall internship.  I put together a Week in Review post for October 14 as well as a Word of the Week post on Orgasmic Meditation.

Having access to the site has really empowered me in my intern role and has helped me feel a lot more useful overall. It has also allowed me to help other members of the CSPH staff with quick page updates or site additions when they’re too busy to do those little tasks.

I’m now hard at work helping to go through their LGBTQIA+ support page to update links and add new resources.

Aside from my internship work, a lot of my focus this past month has been on reading the work of other sex bloggers to learn from their unique approaches toward talking about sex and just get a sense of how to write effective interviews and product reviews.

While there are a lot of really outstanding sex toy review blogs out there, what I’m really digging are the more contemplative and introspective blogs. In particular I’m REALLY enjoying Formidable Femme and Echo Explores‘ writing as of late. A lot of their content just really speaks to me and inspires me to think way outside my own perspectives and experiences.

Girly Juice‘s blog also continues to be a huge favorite of mine because there are frequent updates and you get everything from personal experience pieces to advice posts, sex songs, and fun write ups on what sort of sex toys she imagines her favorite TV show character uses. Plus, I’ve learned a LOT about spanking and impact play, which is something I never really thought about extensively or explored much until seeing her posts.


More Queer Porn, the Tate Modern Museum of London, Cat Tails, and Cum Photography

– I participated in two more #SexEdPornReviews panels for the Crash Pad Series. Both were really hot in distinctly different ways. Episode 224 (featuring Vivi Marie, Sal Marquez, & Luka Peona) consisted of an awesome three-some chock full of facesitting, cocksucking, rimming, handjobs, and great communication, while Episode 225 (featuring Eden Alexander & Chelsea Poe) had a very different feel as it showcased stellar sub/dom talk, a great display of basic BDSM accessories, and what were quite possibly my favorite orgasms of the year.

– In “holy shit this is awesome” news, over the October 21-23 weekend my essay How Learning About Queer Porn Taught Me Self Love was among a handful of written pieces selected for the BEDFELLOWS: Porn as Pedagogy exhibit at the Tate Modern Museum in London, England. Holy shit, right!?

– For the first time ever, I had an orgasm and ejaculated from having my frenulum stimulated with a Shibari wand. I’ve been tryign to get there for a long time but it just wasn’t happening before. But this weekend my partner was playing with my girl cock all afternoon while we were hanging out on the couch, teasing me, even edging me. After about a half-an-hour she pulled out the Shibari, place it on the frenulum just below my cock head and, like, 3 minutes later I’m a cum covered, whimpering mess. It was fuckin’ awesome!

– Earlier in the month I ordered my first ever tail and ears on Kitten’s Playpen. The whole set is REALLY cute, comes with a grey tail, matching ears, a pink and grey collar, as well as a pink tail bow. Seriously can’t wait until it gets here to wear on days I want to feel pretty. Oh, and to take adorably slutty photos with.

– Coincidentally, I find myself feeling more and more drawn to fur and yiff art and communities. I’ve been seriously contemplating commissioning an artist to draw up a furry for me based upon myself. A cute, sexy, nerdy, furry version of Mx Nillin who can make appearances in some posts on the subject as I write about it! Some of my favorite art styles include the work of Hensa, vagab0nda, ozoozou, and pollo-chan. Unfortunately, most of them are not taking commissions any time soon and I’d really like a cute, sexy, Mx Nillin fur drawing within the relatively near future. If anyone has any recommendations of furry artists with similar styles who would not be opposed to sexy, bordering on 18+ commissions, please let me know!

– As mentioned last month, I always regretted deleting my old sex work blog after feeling shamed, intimidated, and pressured to do so in order to serve in a public leadership role and avoid “controversy”. Well, I restarted it up under a porn pseudonym and I’m feeling REALLY great about it! It’s not something I’ll be sharing publicly but it’s something I’ve been super excited about and I’d just like to encourage anyone out there thinking about posting their own anonymous nudes to do it. Don’t shame yourself or let other do it for you. You have every right to express your sexuality however you desire (within legal boundaries of course).

– I’ve always loved cum. I love the way it feels, the way it tastes, and most of all, the way it looks splattered all over just about everything. Lately I’ve started taking pictures of my cum after ejaculating and, as weird as it may sound, there have been some pretty beautiful and erotic resulting photos. Not really sure where I’m going with any of this, but I’ve been sharing some of them on my Twitter, if you’re interested.



Another booty shot, this one of candid, sleepy, Nillin. I mean, who wouldn’t want to climb up on that in the morning? I know I would!


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Mx Nillin’s Monthly Refap: September 2016

I’ve seen a bunch of bloggers doing this thing where at the end of each month they talk about all the stuff they did, or they share interesting things and stuff, and I thought: “hey, I can totally do that!”

So, here it is. My first ever monthly refap (hahhhh, get it?) all about the cool shit I’m doing, what kind of sex I’ve been having, how I’m currently enjoying masturbating, the kinks and fetishes I’m currently exploring, and anything else that I may have found interesting lately… be it sex related or not.

Like The Bioshock Collection coming out which was, honestly, one of the biggest big deal things for me personally this month. Because, Bioshock is incredible. That’s just science.

Anyway, let’s do this!!! [Be sure to read all the way through to the end, where I’ve included a sexy selfie for the month!]


Blog Related Stuff

NOTE: On November 24, 2016, my original blog was permanently suspended by WordPress because of their anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. Due to this, all of the blog links below are no longer functional. But, some of the below posts have been rescheduled for future Thursday updates!

My partner hand drew me an AWESOME new banner to use on this site and social media. She’s gonna digitize it soon and make a few final alterations before it gets a full launch but I am stoked and so thankful for the work. Love you, hun!

– I had a lot of posts planned out earlier in the month but some personal matters and other obligations kept me from getting to even half of them. I did manage to post a few, though!

  • Mx Nillin’s Self-Care Through Selfies 2015; a gallery and select featured images consisting of the 170+ transitions selfies I took throughout 2015 after publicly coming out as queer and trans in late 2104. [This post was removed and will not be re-posted]
  • Spice Things Up with This Lewd Sex Comic From InCase; a quick review of InCase’s short “Spicing Things Up” sex comic, recently made available online for free for the first time. [This post is currently live HERE.]
  • Where to Find the Best Furry and Pet Play Porn; some terms and definitions, as well as a very basic intro about where to look for furry, yiff, and pet play pornography. [This post is actually being entirely reworked to be a furry & pet play resources page.]

– I finally sucked it up and made a Mx Nillin Facebook page to expand my reach on social media. Be sure to like and follow it to keep up on new blog posts, to hear about my current work at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (CSPH) and Crash Pad Series, and for the occasional sexy selfie.


Sex Ed Stuff

A lot of you likely already know, but it’s still super exciting so I’m gonna talk about it again anyways! Last month ended with me finishing a two-day training program for a distance internship with the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health. I’ll be with them for the next couple of months, until December 9.

Honestly, it has been a little challenging to feel like I am a part of things, what with being all the way in Saskatchewan, Canada while they are in Rhode Island. BUT, I have made a conscious effort to connect and socialize with my fellow interns, as well as CSPH staff, on social media and this really cool message board system called Slack; which has helped immensely with making me feel more involved.

So, yay for meeting so many new, really cool people!

In terms of workload, it has been really manageable and I’ve already been able to contribute a fair amount of writing.

So far, I’ve written Week in Review posts for the week of September 2nd, week of September 16, and I just submitted one for this week (ending on September 30). I also wrote a Word of the Week post all about the sex act “muffing”, which was inspired by watching a HELLA hot scene on Crash Pad Series. Just last week I did a ghostwriting assignment on Anal Sex 101; which I won’t be getting any writing credit for butt [see what I did there?] I still had a lot of fun working on it.

I’m not sure if ghostwriting is something that I would feel comfortable doing very often, unless it paid really well, but I was happy to help out and I learned a lot!

Coming up next: tomorrow, October 1, I’ll be taking a 3-hour “Jumpstart Your Career in Sexuality” webinar.


Queer Porn, Tumblr Nudes, Cutting Off Toxic People, and the Frenulum!

Crash Pad Series invited me to participate in their #SexEdPornReviews panels for Episode 222 (featuring Joey Minx and Freya Wynn) and Episode 223 (featuring Sierra Cirque & Endza Adair). These were my 6th and 7th contribution to the Twitter based feature. Watching and tweeting about hardcore queer porn is seriously one of my greatest pleasures in life.

– My partner and I have had a guest staying with us for the last few weeks in need of support, which is totally cool, however, we really do miss being naked at home every night (our apartment is a nudist zone)… and having loud sex… and masturbating on our couch mid-day. Luckily, we’ve been able to sneak off for a couple of quickies and mutual masturbation sessions here and there, but it’s just not the same when you’re trying to stifle your moans and orgasm groans. Ugh!

– Getting girl boners in pleated or flowy skirts = not a big deal. Getting girl boners in pencil skirts or skinny jeans = ohhh shit…

– It’s an unfortunate reality for many queer and trans people that they may be disowned, cast out, and/or generally degraded by their own family after they come out. Unfortunately, that’s where I’m at. I had to make the hard decision to cut out anyone who is toxic, disrespectful, cruel, and unsupportive of me, my partner, and my life. Even if we are related by blood. No more deadnaming, no more misgendering, no more putdowns, or disparaging comments, or mocking remarks. Luckily, I have countless loving, caring, enthusiastic, and positive people that surround me here in my day to day life who I am immensely grateful to know. Family isn’t always blood. Sometimes, those you need most in your life are your close friends, peers, and fellow queers. I love you guys, thank you for everything!

– After a friend shared their secret (and unbelievable hot) Tumblr sex blog with me (you know who you are you magnificent creature xoxo), I couldn’t stop thinking about my old Tumblr sex blogs where I used to drop my lewdest of nudes. I REALLY had fun on Tumblr… letting my slut flag fly unrestrained was super empowering, exciting, and just generally a lot of fun. I actually thoroughly regret having deleted them, especially for what now feels like the wrong reasons. Boo. Lesson learned.

– Speaking of friends, and my old sex blogs, I found a folder FULL of really explicit nudes I took last fall so, naturally, offered them to any of my Facebook friends who wanted to trade; and there were takers! It always pleasantly surprises just me how many friends actually want to see me naked and share their own nudes. Casual nudity, threesomes, masturbating, and sexting with friends has become a pretty consistent thing for my partner and I… and I love it.  And may I just say: HOT DAMN do I have sexy friends!

– Earlier this month I quietly resigned as Chair of the Board of Directors for Moose Jaw Pride. It honestly just came down to feeling as though my values, interests, and goals no longer aligned with the organization, and feeling that I was needed elsewhere. So, it was time to move on! I’m looking forward to really giving attention to my passions surrounding pleasure inclusive, queer and trans focused sex education.

– I’m obsessed with stimulating my frenulum while masturbating now. In fact, I’m usually rubbing that spot more than I am stroking my girl cock, now. My partner has also been including it in handjobs and blowjobs she gives me. It feels amazing and I’m kinda sad that the sensations are a relatively new discovery (so many wasted years of full-body pleasure shivers). If you are a person who has a penis, and you aren’t playing with your frenulum, or you don’t know what or where that is, treat yourself to finding and exploring it.


Nillin’s Slutty Selfie of the Month

Now, let’s talk about my glorious ass. My partner Falon took, what I strongly believe, is the SEXIEST picture of my booty that has ever been taken. I feel that it’s important to start this off with a sexy selfie because it honestly makes me feel bangin’. So, that’s reason enough for me!



[Okay, technically, she took the picture on, like, August 27th but I’m sharing it here because I look fuckin’ hot.]

Speaking of hot pictures, I gotta give a shout out to a new friend and inspiring peer, Taylor J. Mace from Feisty Fox films, who was super cool and let me send them a bunch of my nudes and offered really great advice on how I could step up my sexy selfie game. Looking forward to playing with a lot of those tips and critiques over the next couple of weeks and seeing what comes out of it!

Thank you for reading and following all of my content, everyone! See you next month!

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