Mx Nillin’s Monthly Refap: March 2017

[CW: nude, NSFW pic at the very end of this post]

March was cold and dreary in Saskatchewan but I didn’t mind cause it motivated me to explore and experiment with a bunch of kink and fetish play activities I’ve been super curious about. Also, the first expansion pack for Battlefied 1 came out so I’ve been kicking ass at that on PS4. Plus, Beauty and the Beast, Power Rangers, Logan, and Life all came out, so, I mean, Fal and I went to the movies a LOT.

Anyway, video games and movies aside, here’s all the sexy shenanigans I got up to in March.


Blog Related Stuff

This month was honestly some of the most fun I’ve had blogging, almost entirely because of a new bi-weekly post series here called “Mx Nillin Fucks…” The general idea behind it is that once or twice a month I’m going to purchase an inanimate object to stick my girl cock in and use as an unconventional masturbation aid. At the end of each of these posts will be a poll with a few options for readers to vote on what I try to fuck next!

This month I masturbated with warm apple pie and then ya’ll voted for me to get it on with Jell-O. Now, according to the latest poll, it’s looking like April will begin with me sliding my girl cock into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. While my posts about these acts may be laced with bitter sarcasm and sassiness, please know that I’m having a blast with this new feature.

Okay, so as for site content, here were this month’s posts:


#SexEdPornReviews, Food Sex, Cock Sucking Cravings, and Preparing for Sexual Assault Awareness Month

  • I haven’t been doing as many Sex Ed Porn Reviews this year due to life and general business, so, when I am able to say yes to those invites it is a very big treat. This past month I was invited to watch and tweet a few thoughts about Episode 234, featuring April Flores and Milcah Halili. Check out the coverage to read about what sexual health educators, sex bloggers, and other sex workers thought about all the spitting, fisting, spanking, and hardcore fucking Crash Pad’s newest episode brought.
  • Ever since starting the “Mx Nillin Fucks…” feature I’ve been pretty into playing around with food, masturbation, and eating cum. One of my favorite discoveries as of late have been a series of Tumblr blogs all about mixing semen (or ejaculate in general) with various foods and eating them as part of sex play or just regular consumption. Some of the tumblrs I’m really into right now that focus on this fetish are [CW: these are are all NSFW 18+ only links] Cum Gourmet and the classic All Natural Naughty Fun. I wish there were more cum eating, cum on food, and cum play blogs! Looks like I’ll just have to post more of that stuff myself lol
  • It has been about 6-months since I last sucked a cock. I still remember her holding my head as she face fucked me while Fal caressed her body. My jaw ached, but it felt SO good to be used like that and I genuinely crave her cock again. I want to feel her grow hard in my hands, taste the pre-cum off of her, feel her slide herself to the back of my throat, then roughly use my face before explode in my mouth. Too much? I don’t care! God I want her.
  • I was asked to film a short clip for New Hope, a non-profit organization serving domestic and sexual violence survivors throughout Massachusetts, in recognition of Sexual Assault Awareness Month to shed light on the unique forms of sexual violence that trans, non-binary, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming people face. Keep an eye out on the Mx Nillin Facebook page for news about when that vid goes live!


Slutty Pic of the Month

As with previews refaps, I like to end each of these posts with my favorite lewd and nude pic of the month. With all the new food fucking content here this month’s sexy pic comes from Mx Nillin Fucks… Jell-O! I dunno what it is about this picture I like so much, but here I am moments before dipping my tip into dat mold.


Speaking of food sex, the results of the last Mx Nillin Fucks poll are in and next week my girl cock will find its way into… a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!! And for those who were following the Mx Nillin Facebook page, I fully intend to follow through on my promise that if I orgasm and ejaculate into this sandwich I am going to eat it afterward.

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Why Trans Positive Representation in Porn Matters Too

Just like in any abusive situation, it’s hard to see how bad things are until you see how good they can be. In a lot of ways, that’s how I felt as I began to understand my gender and sexuality, find the courage to come out, and reflect on my time spent in the closet. Because here’s the tragic truth about what kept me from being my true self from the very beginning: I grew up transphobic. We all did. Not because we intentionally wanted to be, or even that we necessarily believed it at all, but because society at large ingrained those transphobic frameworks and myths into everything that we saw, heard, and read. And without having the internet or online communities to support us, that only made our isolation harder.

Film and television was one of the worst influences, often portraying trans people, and their bodies, not as desirable sexual partners but as dangerous “things” that threaten masculinity and heterosexuality. Media often asserted that the absolute most terrifying thing that any cis man could ever experience in a romantic and/or sexual context was realizing that the woman he thought had a vagina actually had a penis.

I certainly remember Jim Carrey and an entire SWAT team of ultra-macho cis men projectile vomiting near the end of Ace Ventura Pet Detective when they discovered that the woman they had all been pining after was tucking back a cock. I also remember an entire bar full of cis dudes bursting into uproarious laughter after Crocodile Dundee sexually assaults a trans woman by grabbing her genitalia and then exclaimed “That was a guy! Guy dressed up like a Sheila! Look at that!”

All of this, and so many more similar depictions, painted a very clear picture for me growing up: everyone believed that trans bodies were gross, scary, and a literal joke. Unfortunately, a lot of these transphobic frameworks extended to the porn I found on the internet too throughout my youth and teenage years. What I found was that the vast majority of any porn featuring trans people was laced in slurs marketing them as “trannys”, “shemales”, and “ladyboys”; all terms that I only ever heard uttered with ridicule and disgust in my day to day life.

These depictions matter because they frame not only how society views people who are gender diverse, but how gender diverse folks view themselves. The negative and degrading portrayals of trans people I saw growing up led to me spending the vast majority of my formative years anxious, depressed, lost, and deeply ashamed of my body, my sexuality, and my gender.

But it doesn’t doesn’t have to be that way. It actually wasn’t until these past couple of years, since coming out as queer and non-binary trans in my community, that I finally started to discover my own self-worth. I finally started to realize that my body wasn’t something to fear, or be disgusted with, and that I was worthy of pleasure and love.

So, in the spirit of hopefully helping somebody else out there struggling with loving themselves in a world that wants us to hate and hide who we are, here are a few resources and some dirty links to help!


Further reading right here on Mx Nillin

I’m all about working to create sexy, stimulating, queer and trans focused, sex positive content through celebrating my body and exploring my sexuality as a non-binary, non-monogamous, exhibitionist. I generally strive to write pieces that I wish had existed when I needed them. Hopefully, you may find some of them helpful too:

How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Queer Folk

Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation for People With a Penis

Panty Shopping Tips for People With a Penis Who Don’t Tuck

Mx Nillin’s Crash Pad Series Site Review

A Case For Traps, Sissies, Femboys and Crossdressers

How Non-Monogamy Looks to My Partner and I

And if you’re looking for some non-binary trans nudity from an enby person with a penis, then check out my Nudes & Lewds gallery for lots of glorious girl cock, butt stuff, and pet play!


Further reading from Other Sources

Of course, there are a lot of other really empowering and uplifting pieces out there for trans folk struggling to see themselves as sexual beings. Here are a few that I found particularly helpful in my searching:

I am a Porn Star Asking the Porn Industry to Stop Using the Term “Shemale”

How Learning About Queer Sex Taught me Self-Love [shameless self-promotion, I wrote this!]

Japanese Cartoon Porn Helped me Understand My Trans Identity

The Radical Potential of Queer Porn


Free Nudes and Sex Forums

The following sex blogs and forums offer free pornographic images, video, and/or content submitted by gender diverse folk, and often meant for queer and trans audiences.





Trans, Non-Binary, Genderqueer, and Gender Nonconforming Pay Porn

If you have a little money available, even a couple of dollars, please consider paying for your porn and supporting gender diverse adult performers and producers. Here are some of my favorite paysites and porn creators selling their work at affordable prices!

Crash Pad Series

Chelsea Poe

Sophie Ladder & Gal Pal Films

Fey Demure

Miss Jadence

Crona Valentine

Ashley Alespia

Punk Trans Queen

The Lust Garden


And if you know of any other sex workers, performers, producers, bloggers, or writers that you would recommend others check out, please feel free to share those links in the comments below. Or better yet, are you one of the above and want to promote your own work? Consider sending me a message on Twitter and I’d love to review your content for a future post!

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Panty Shopping Tips for People With a Penis Who Don’t Tuck

Personally, I refuse to tuck. Like, ever.  It’s uncomfortable, it’s hot, feels terrible, makes my balls sweaty and tender, and it’s awful and I hate it.

But I’m not even dysphoric about my girl cock in the first place. In fact, I love my girl cock. I WORSHIP my girl cock and it will stay with me even after I start HRT, grow my own tits, and see my booty pop! Why? Because I don’t need to get rid of it to validate my gender. My gender already is valid, and I also love my girl cock.

Whether you identify as trans, genderqueer, a crossdresser, cis, whatever, if you have a penis and want to wear panties without tucking then here are a few quick tips for how to shop for a comfy pair:


Familiarize Yourself With the Cuts, Fits, and Fabrics

Fact: there are a LOT of panty types out there. Not just a couple. A lot. Way more that you would think are necessary and each type further differs in fabric and style from retailer to retailer. This gets really frustrating when you find a type that you really like… only to find that not all brands even make those panties the same way. Uuuuuuuugggggghhhh-


annoyed eye roll krysten ritter apt 23 don't trust the b in apt 23

Anyway, so, what exactly is there for panty styles? Well, there are boyshorts, hiphuggers, cheekys, bikinis, thongs, high-cuts, high-waists, tangas, hipster fits, classic briefs, control briefs, a bajillion types of “strings” and so on and so forth.

Ultimately, everybody’s body is different so what fits my hips, waist, and girl cock may or may not fit yours. And while one brand of boyshorts or hipsters may feel like the bomb, another brand may be just completely and utterly wrong once you put them on.

Take this page of boyshort panties from Pennington’s with like 3 or 4 distinctly different styles of boyshorts going on, some of which just look like high cuts and hipsters. Seriously. That’s fucking exhausting.

Best thing to do is find a bin of cheap panties, pick up some box store budget packs, or hit something like those perpetual 3-for-$15 sale walls at Ardenes, and try a bunch out until you find the right fit and fabric for you. Awareness of the cuts, fits, and fabrics out there is key to finding those panties that make you feel great.

Keep in mind though that absolutely none of these panty styles were designed for people with penises. Nearly every brand and store assumes that everyone is cisgender, so, that makes shopping kinda shitty.

One of my absolute favorite pair of panties that I have EVER owned is a pair of purple lace boyshorts from Penningtons (yeah, I know that I just knocked them earlier but it is what it is lol). I’ve yet to find another pair that makes my booty look, and my girl cock feel, that glorious. *See feature image for reference.

NOTE: Should it be of interest to you, there is also Homme Mystere, a site that sells “sexy lingerie for men”. Personally, I was pretty disinterested in it’s marketing being geared entirely toward cisgender men… which I find to be needlessly alienating to trans and genderqueer shoppers, but, whatever I guess. Anyway, the prices are pretty ridiculous in my opinion. That being said, they DO sell sexy and cute underwear designed specifically to hold a penis. So, if the marketing and high price-tags don’t bother you, then you’ll find a lot very easily there.


Upsize and Re-Position

Whether it is for day-to-day wear, or for feeling sexy, I personally find that getting a slightly larger size really makes for a more comfortable wear without my girl cock turtling itself into my pubic mound. Fact is that the snugger your panties are the more likely your penis is going to tuck itself from being so constricted. Especially when you factor in other layers of tight clothing and the shifting that occur throughout the day. So, upsize your underwear!

I’m not talking about going to a 2XL if you normally wear size small, but go up one size from what you tend to wear. I usually fit a size large in panties. Ever since I started buying size XL panties my girl cock has thanked me for all the extra comfort room and I’m adjusting myself far less throughout the day now.

Then play with your penis… positioning wise, that is! What works best for me in an upsized pair of panties is just placing my girl cock all the way to either side so it is resting nicely in the fabric. In the right pair of panties, like a roomy hipster fit or a nice pair of XL lace cheekys, it sits perfectly without turtling itself or poking out too noticeably. However, if the pair I’m wearing is a little tight then I find that it’s better for me is to position my girl cock upright and slightly to either side so that he head is pointing just off of the center of  my belly.

It will be different for you, obviously, so just play around until you find what’s most comfortable.


Embrace the Bulge!

Ultimately, it’s all about embracing the bulge and not giving a fuck what cis folk think. Your physical and psychological comfort is worth more than appeasing any body shaming, ignorant, self-righteous transphobes who won’t stop glaring at your crotch like it’s the Ark of the Covenant. You’re not responsible for their obsession with the genitalia of strangers.

Personally, I don’t care if I’m in skinny jeans or short shorts, I’m not tucking. Especially not for social expectations or for uncomfortable cis people who don’t have the self control to chill their ridiculous outrage over the imagined shapes they are searching for between my legs. I’m not walking around with a raging erection, it’s a small bump in the fabric of my pants. Stop making a mountain out of my cock bulge.


NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their sexphobic anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on October 28, 2016. Click here for the full story.

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