MxNillin’s Crash Pad Series Site Review

Navigating adult entertainment as a gender diverse individual, either online or offline, can be a pretty dehumanizing and disheartening experience much of the time. While I can find a lot of content featuring trans women performers with ease, unfortunately, practically ALL of it is laced in blatantly transphobic and transmisogynistic terminology. Go to any major porn site, or any adult video store, and the vast majority of adult videos or films market their trans performers as “shemales”, “ladyboys”, “trannys”, “he/she”, etc.

In her XO Jane piece entitled “I Am A Porn Star Asking the Porn Industry To Stop Using the Term ‘Shemale’“, Chelsea Poe explains why use of these terms in pornography are harmful to trans performers, producers, viewers, and gender diverse individuals in general:

For most of us it’s our first exposure to what trans-ness is. The terms that accompany our first exposure to trans women’s bodies are terms like “Shemale,” “Tranny” or “TS,” terms to pointedly shame those who have these bodies and those who are attracted to these bodies.

(…) The same terms that are used by these companies to depict our sexualities are the same slurs many trans women hear when they are being attacked.

Enter: Crash Pad Series, a trans-inclusive adult entertainment website from Pink & White Productions that doesn’t market itself through the harmful and degrading methods utilized by mainstream pornography sources.

Well known for its reputation as an ethical porn company, Pink & White Productions prides itself on creating sexy and exciting content that reflects today’s gender diversity and sexual fluidity. It comes as no surprise then that Crash Pad Series is widely considered the gold standard for queer-sex cinema with its collection of over 200 films featuring transgender, cisgender,  and non-binary performers of various races, appearances, sexualities, and (dis)abilities.

Episode 167, starring Chelsea Poe and Sugar Blair.
Episode 167, starring Chelsea Poe and Sugar Blair.

This past April I was afforded the opportunity to explore the site for a full month in exchange for a written review. Now that some time has passed I can confidently say that I have never seen pornography like this. Now that my trial subscription has lapsed… I miss it. I miss all of it.

Going back to the plethora of free tube sites chock full of stolen private videos and illegally uploaded professional porn scenes just highlights how incredibly important sites like Crash Pad Series are. Especially for gender and sexual diverse performers, producers, directors, and viewers who must otherwise navigate an overwhelmingly abusive, degrading, transphobic, homophobic, and cissexist industry and marketplace.

These conditions contribute to toxicity on numerous levels that I, for one, certainly still feel the effects of today.

As a non-binary trans and pansexual individual, I have LONG struggled with enjoying my sexuality. In fact, I struggle with even seeing myself as a sexual being at all. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy sex, or that I haven’t had great sex and many really exciting sexual experiences over the years, because I definitely have. However, I still have a lot of trouble fully embracing myself in the bedroom be it while masturbating or engaging in intercourse with others.

As each item of clothing comes off I tend to feel less and less femme, less and less myself, and, ultimately, less and less attractive. I see my dress, bra, bra inserts, leggings, and panties on the floor and I am forced to face this body that I feel so unhappy and disconnected from. The body hair, the flat chest, the broad shoulders, the square jawline and stubble on my face; all of it just becomes so apparent when I am naked and it can sometimes be difficult to fully involve myself in sex when I am so hyper-aware of these things.

At the best of times, I’m uncertain of what to do with my body and I still harbor a lot of shame about my sexual interests. Anal play, pet play, cum play, bondage, and rough sex are all activities that I desire yet a lifetimes worth of internalized transphobia, homophobia, and sex shame continues to keep me from embracing any of these interests.

It is those very internalized feelings of self-hatred that pornography generally has a tendency to feed into, rather than challenge. How can one be expected to see themselves as desirable to others, as worthy of pleasure, or as a sexual being when their only exposure to gender diversity in sexual situations is through “tranny” porn; which treats trans women like bizarre fetishes for cis men to enjoy as a novelty fuck?

Spending a month exploring Crash Pad Series proved to be the opportunity that I needed to FINALLY challenge some of those negative perspectives that I had of myself and to begin unpacking some of my baggage; which has been overflowing with sexual shame and anxiety for far too long.

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Episode 137, starring Jade Phillips and James Darling.

It also allowed me the opportunity to discover brand new ways that I could have sex with my partner, that I could explore my body, and discover pleasures. So many of the episodes and films on Crash Pad Series feature a diverse range of sex acts, from fisting to a myriad of types of BDSM play, that I rarely see presented as passionately and playfully as seen here.

I do wish that there were more category options for the videos though as currently there are just six: ejaculation, rough, fisting, anal, strap-on, and BDSM. Ones for oral and masturbation, for example, would be nice.

In fact, I would love to see more solo masturbation videos in general on the site. Especially, given how outstanding the couple I did watch were. [Solo vids featuring the likes of Joey Minx, Carson, and Jessica Creepshow, would be incredible… just saying.]

For me, masturbation videos are more than pornography. In many ways they are actually masturbatory aids for me as I find it profoundly affirming and exciting to see individuals with a similar body as mine exploring themselves. Through masturbation videos I have discovered new ways to use my hands, learned about new toys to utilize in creative ways, and new positions to expand the pleasures available to me. So more of that content would be awesome!

Additionally, I was a little disappointed that with a blog section on the site there weren’t a lot of articles on there. It would be really cool to read advice posts on, like, taking sexy photos of your partner(s), or nude selfies for your lover(s), or even pointers from the stars on producing your own sex videos. Maybe even some performer spotlight pieces, product reviews and recommendations from performers, and just some general personal pieces from some of the performers willing to share about their kinks or experiences.

There were the odd posts similar to that in the blog section but they seemed pretty infrequent and I wish there were more shared perspectives of queer-sex from those involved with this outstanding site.

But overall, these few criticisms do not substantially take away from how amazing Crash Pad Series is.

Episode 20: Sweet Tea's Solo
Episode 20: Sweet Tea’s Solo

 

Going back to Chelsea Poe’s XO Jane piece:

To write porn off as a fantasy that has no real life impact is extremely wrong because it is de-facto trans education for both trans women and the people who are attracted to trans bodies.

And that is EXACTLY what Crash Pad Series does so beautifully episode after episode after episode. It educates. It is exciting and sexy, all while also being incredibly informative and affirming.

At no point during my time exploring the site did I ever feel uncomfortable or unappreciated as a trans and queer viewer; which is more than I can say of literally any free site out there.

So, while $119.88 for a year’s subscription may feel a little steep for some, believe me when I say that it is worth it. Especially for any gender and/or sexually diverse readers out there looking for great porn that’s also genuinely queer-positive.

I’ll be renewing my subscription ASAP.

NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress for due to their anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on June 6, 2016. Read the full story here!

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Review: Rococo Royalle and the Lust Garden

Back in May of 2016 I was in a pretty rough spot in my life emotionally and psychologically. I felt trapped in my transition as a non-binary person and I was feeling a lot of confusion, frustration, and some pretty heavy shame about my body and sexuality. There was a lot of unpacked, unresolved sexual guilt and shame that I simply had never addressed up until that point.

In late 2015 I had been running my own sex Tumblr where I was sharing nudes, and writing about my struggles to embrace my kinks, unpack my baggage surrounding sexual pleasure, and generally understand myself as a sexual being. Unfortunately, I ended up shutting that down for what I have since have come to realize were all of the wrong reasons. Though, maybe it was a blessing! I mean, the sense of loss I felt over that Tumblr did end up motivating me to create www.mxnillin.com and lead me to sites and communities like The Crash Pad Series.

For the last 7-months, Crash Pad has been a safe haven and revelation as it has helped me learn to love myself and challenge my anxieties, insecurities, and fears surrounding sex and pleasure. While my experience exploring the content on Crash Pad and participating in their #Sex Ed Porn Reviews feature has been transformative, I knew that there were so many more performers and producers out there creating equally as profound work. So, for 2017 I want to find as much high quality, sex positive, body positive, queer and trans inclusive porn as I possibly can to share with those who need it.

 

Enter Rococo Royalle and The Lust Garden

I actually heard about both for the first time through following Byron Dubois, who is both an outstanding performer and a fabulous human being, on Twitter. It was the photos from their “Gold and Rust” Lust Garden shoot that drew me in.

First most and foremost, Rococo Royalle is a proud “Bushy Queer Intersectional Feminist Slut,” and these qualities gloriously show in all of the content you will find on her Tumblr site.

As an artist, model, performer, creator, photographer, and director herself, Rococo’s body of work, whether it features herself or other performers entirely, is consistently beautiful, intimate, and exciting. Honestly, once I got into the groove of scrolling through her collective work it was easy to lose myself in all that the site offers.

On top of all this, Rococo offers a wider variety of other services and products such as private skype sessions, access to her Snapchat, signed prints, and sales of her worn panties, among other things.

She also happens to be the creative mind behind The Lust Garden, which has equally as fantastic content and features a much broader range of performers. So, if you check out one, be sure to take the time to look at the other as well. From the few scenes I was able to view, I’m confident both will be well worth your time.

 

Intimate and Exciting

In one scene that I had the pleasure of watching, called “Good Vibes”, the camera focuses on Rococo in a green armchair as she pleasure herself with a vintage, hand mounted vibrator. It’s seriously mesmerizing. I mean, this device is a BEAST. It’s big, looks like some sort of steam-punk power glove, and I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like it before in a solo-scene. And when the scene gets into some slow motion shots of her fingers rippling from knuckle to fingertip against her labia, I quickly found myself going back multiple times to watch it again.

In addition to Good Vibes I was also able to view a scene from The Lust Garden called “Hide & Seek”, staring Cruel Valentine and Nicki Sunshine. To those of you who frequent my blog you already know that I’m a very big fan of exhibitionist content, especially outdoor stuff, and this shoot didn’t disappoint. Beautifully filmed, well framed, and once again surprisingly intimate, I highly recommend you make this one of the first you buy if you do decide to try some of Lust Garden’s content out for yourself. Watching Cruel tape Nicki to a tree, then caressing her, before paddling, caning, spanking, and strap-on fucking her in the middle of those lush woods… holy shit.

Yet as much as I enjoyed these scenes, as well as the generous amounts of free photography previews, I did personally feel a little frustrated by it all being hosted on Tumblr.

 

Tumblr Blues

I don’t mind Tumblr on occasion. It’s fun to spend a half-hour or so jumping from sex blog to sex blog looking for the next exciting nude selfie, lewd artwork, or kinky amateur porn clip that outdoes the last. However, as a host for professional content I personally find Tumblr too cluttered. I mean, at it’s core, Tumblr really is a micro-blogging social media platform and at the best of times I don’t usually find it to be the most user friendly in terms of navigation experiences.

This is most apparent with the Rococo Royalle page. When I first visited the blog it was actually pretty overwhelming. The header looked more like a blog post and the menu felt busy, with some of those links feeling like they could be combined to make it look less crunched. Then once I scrolled by that initial header and introduction blurb, my eyes were immediately greeted by a big jumble of… stuff… that I wasn’t quite sure how to process as it was all just there in a seemingly unorganized stream. Between the pile of pictures, videos, reblogs, and more all jumbled below, I wasn’t exactly sure of where to start and I found that the mix of shared content from other users as well were actually a distraction from the outstanding looking work from Rococo herself.

Between all of the white space, and the narrow gray header box, the menu itself feels really cramped and busy.

 

Of course, I also recognize that the Rococo Royalle page IS a personal blog and not a paid site, so, I can understand why there is a mix of personal posts, professional sex work content, and things from other creators entirely. If I had my own Tumblr account, and was following Rococo Royalle, I probably would appreciate the more personal touch of seeing her regularly posting selfies and sharing content from others that she enjoys. That’s all part of the interactive experience that you get from following an artist whose work you enjoy.

None of that changes how cluttered I feel Tumblr is in general, though. It’s just… it’s so much, you know? There’s so much going on all the time and Tumblr feeds always feel so packed even on the quietest of days. I personally can only take Tumblr in small doses, whereas a more centralized and streamlined website, which could still have a blog section, would be easier to navigate.

 

Still Worth Every Affordable Penny

All of that being said, none of these site gripes change the fact that both Rococo Royalle and The Lust Garden are producing outstanding content that I would genuinely recommend to any one of my friends or readership. Especially considering that it is all so reasonably priced.

On Rococo’s Tumblr there is a LOT available ranging from $5 bucks for a photo set, or select short videos, to just $20 for full 20-30 minute sex scenes with outstanding costars. The prices are comparable on Lust Garden as well. It’s all priced pretty fairly as far as I’m concerned and if you’re not a big fan of looking through everything on Tumblr, you can also buy much of it on Amateur Porn, Many Vids, or by emailing her directly at rococoroyalle@gmail.com.

Speaking of which, Lust Garden videos can be bought on Many Vids, Amateur Porn, or by emailing Rococo too!

So, if you are interested in sex positive, feminist, pleasure focused, queer and trans inclusive pornography, both Rococo Royalle and the Lust Garden are honestly some of the best content you’ll find in any of those areas.

Just be prepared to dig for it, I promise it’s worth the effort.

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