Welcome to Day 14 of February Photofest 2019 on MxNillin.com
People always look at me weird when I say that I’m in a long-term, complicated, polyamorous relationship with myself; but it’s true! I mean, generally speaking, I’ve shared more intimacy, romance, and vulnerability with myself than any other person on the planet and if this relationship isn’t healthy then it tends to make my other relationships unhealthy as well.
So, this Valentine’s Day I’m making a very concerted effort to not only acknowledge my relationship with myself, but to also celebrate it and commit to treating myself better. Though depression and anxiety will make it hard, I deserve that work. I deserve to hear nice things about me from myself, to be affirmed, to be encouraged, supported, and loved. I need to minimize my negative self-talk. Challenge those insecurities, while speaking over the uncertainty, feelings of imposter syndrome, and self-hate.
Because the fact is that I’m my own first love, my first infatuation, my first heartbreak, and first partner, all in one.
I’m the first person I was ever intimate with. The first person I ever sensually touched, and was touched by. The first person I ever felt such great pleasure with, and such immense pain from.
There never has been, and never will be, a day that ends without me falling asleep with myself, then waking up to me the next morning. And when I look myself in the eyes in the mirror I want to be able to confidently say that I treated myself right.
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And be sure to click the February Photofest 2019 logo below to see pics from other bloggers participating in this year’s event!