Well, holy lady balls y’all… we’re officially over a third of the way through #30DayOrgasmFun 2019! “What the shit is that?” you ask? Well, it’s a sex positive project centering mental health and wellness self-care through sexual gratification that was started by the wonderful Tabitha Rayne! The general idea is for folks to have as many orgasms as they can throughout April and to write about, or even just think about, the effects that they have on their overall mood.
In the Part 1 post I went over some of my favorite ways to get off, and introduced a few of the folks who I share sexy times with. Then in Part Two I got more into the nitty-gritty of my feelings and how orgasming has helped as little mood boosters.
But all that is in the past, now it’s fucking part 3!
Context note: I am in a non-monogamous, polyamorous relationship with my best friends Kate and Fal. You’ll read a lot about them in these posts throughout the month.
You’ll also likely read about Toto, a friend of mine who I sometimes hang out with naked and talk about sex a lot with, as well as Kris, a long-time friend who I’ve reconnected with in the last year and occasionally mutually masturbate with over webcam.
April 9th – Porn Reviews and Mediocre Orgasms
[Disclosure: all Crash Pad Series links in this section are my affiliate links.]
If you’ve been following me for a while then you’ll know that one of my absolute most favorite porn sites is the Crash Pad Series. Not only is the queer and trans representation amazing, and the sex kinky as fuck, but on a personal level many episodes have directly inspired my sex life in genuinely meaningful ways.
I’ve actually been involved with the company through their #SexEdPornReviews panel, which invites sex bloggers and educators to tweet their thoughts about new episodes, since June of 2016. To date I’ve reviewed a total of 26 scenes featuring amazing, inclusive, and affirming queer sex! The most recent one I watched and tweeted about was Episode 289, a solo scene starring Spooky Fat Brat that really showcases masturbation as a great medium through which somebody can practice radical self-love.
I mean, how PERFECT is this scene for me to review right now!? Talk about happy coincidences.
So, anyway, watching Spooky Fat Brat pleasure herself with a Hitachi Wand inspired me to once again play with my Shibari Wand. After finishing the scene I switched over to some other porn vids and, sadly, it actually took me a lot longer than usual to orgasm. Nearly 45-mins to be exact. On top of that I ejaculated significantly less than I normally do (possibly a side effect of masturbating and ejaculating so much over a week).
It probably doesn’t help that I’ve also been getting a lot of dry skin this season, including under the glans of my girl cock… fun times! As such, todays orgasm actually didn’t really have much of any affect on me at all. It was just an orgasm. And was only an “okay” one at that. Kinda mediocre, actually.
Honestly, I’d say that my day would have been perfectly fine without it, and that kinda gives me pause. Because if I’m just masturbating for the sake of masturbating, and that’s giving me underwhelming orgasms, then I can think of a lot better things to do instead, you know?
The Crash Pad Series episode was GREAT though!
April 10th – A Hunch I’m Having
I’m starting to realize a couple of things about my orgasms that I had NEVER noticed before. I mean, that makes sense because I haven’t ever thought of my orgasms in the ultra self-aware, and detailed, ways that I have these past 10 days. But anyway it’s… interesting!
So, yesterdays orgasm kinda sucked, but today I was masturbating to threesome pictures that Fal, Kate, and I took together and had a STELLAR one! It was full body, super satisfying, AND, unlike yesterday, came with a particularly messy cumshot all up my belly and chest.
That got me thinking a little bit more about what sexy content, or fantasies, get me the hottest and lead to more satisfying orgasms. Turns out, looking at lewds and nudes of my partners or friends is hands down what gets me there the most. Hell, I even get off to other sex bloggers’ nudes or erotica more than mainstream porn, most likely in part because I’ve had interactions with them and feel a sort of connection, even if that’s just as acquaintances. Still, knowing them in some capacity and interacting with them makes masturbating to their content much more exciting for me!
Of course there is porn I watch and enjoy too but in most cases the porn that really helps me cum hard is the porn that I can imagine myself with Fal and Kate, or Kris, or any of my casual sexting pals in.
I guess what I’m saying is that I think I’m coming to realize that intimacy plays a much bigger role in my orgasms than it did in my younger, “I just want to fuck”, years.
And that’s kinda cool!
April 11th – When Your Body Betrays You!
No orgasm today! I woke up with harsh back and hip pain that persisted throughout the day (full disclosure: Fal and I DESPERATELY need to budget for a new mattress). I thought about getting off a couple times but just felt so sore and uncomfortable that I decided it wasn’t worth potentially making my already aching muscles worst.
I still prioritised self-care though! Chatted with my friend Kris for a few hours in the afternoon, had a really relaxing bath, shared an alcoholic cider with Fal, threw on the original Pet Semetary because Fal hadn’t seen it yet and wanted to watch it before the remake, then winded down with cool mini-docs on YouTube.
And you know what? There may have been no orgasm but I still felt rejuvenated by that downtime and actually managed to fall asleep at a half decent time.
April 12th – Putting It Off
I had a LOT of trouble orgasming again. All day I kept putting it off more and more until late at night, at around 10:30 PM, when I decided to hop in the bath with a couple masturbating sleeves to jerk off with. Unfortunately, I couldn’t cum… I’d get really close to getting off and would hyper-focus on orgasming, but then the sensation would dissipate and I’d lose my erection. This happened twice over the course of 45-mins and I was ready to throw the towel in.
I think the problem is that I’m stressing myself out about cumming every day. I’m so focused on getting the orgasm that I’m not allowing myself to enjoy the pleasure and process.
So, after taking a solid 20 mins break I tried masturbating again. No sleeves, just my girl cock in my hand, and instead of thinking about cumming I just opened my phone to watch a video Kate had sent months ago of her masturbating in the shower. I fantasized about being with her. About running my hands over her wet, naked body. Feeling her stroke my girl cock while I rubbed her clit.
BOOM! That fucking did it! And as an extra bonus it happened at 11:48 PM, so, booya.
Which brings me to my stats so far: 12 satisfying orgasms, 1 unsatisfying orgasm, 1 ruined orgasm, 1 missed day, and a LOT of revelations about my sexual needs, desires, fantasies, as well as the importance of intimacy in how I experience pleasure.
Looking forward to what the next couple weeks will bring!