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All That I’m Grateful For

Posted on December 24, 2017April 5, 2020 by MxNillin

I am grateful for my partner Falon, who has been with me through the best of times, and the worst of times, and continues to enrich my life in countless ways. Who has supported me in coming out, in transitioning as an enby queer, in dealing with profound amounts of transphobic harassment, in coping with my depression and anxiety, and being disowned by family. Nobody makes me laugh like they do, makes me smile like they do, makes me feel alive like they do.

 

I am grateful for my mom, who was strong enough to flee her emotionally and financially abusive marriage of 33-years, then enduring an additional year of threats, manipulation, and gaslighting as she started her life over again. Who for years stood up for my partner and I as family and friends around her said awful transphobic, homophobic, and racist things about us.

I am grateful for my best friend Kate, who has supported me for over half a decade and who has just all around been one of the coolest people I’ve ever known. Who has always had my back, lifted my spirits, empowered me in all of my pursuits, and made me feel awesome too. She’s also a smoking hottie who Falon and I have been having some of the best sex of our lives with these past few months.

I am grateful to have left Moose Jaw, a community that took far more than it gave, and that never felt safe for us due to daily street harassment, intimidation, abuse, and threats of violence. A community whose local Pride organization has gradually alienated numerous queer and trans members in its pursuit of social favor among more conservative minds, with just a handful of individuals truly reaping all of those benefits.

I am grateful to have moved to Saskatoon, a community where I feel significantly safer being out and where I feel less pressured to pass or conform in order to be respected. A community where I have only experienced transphobic street harassment 3-times so far, where I am feeling far more myself than I have in recent years. And even though all new challenges have arisen, Falon and I are significantly healthier and happier here.

I am grateful for Taylor J. Mace and Sugarcunt, two amazing sex bloggers whose writing has empowered me, emboldened me, inspired me, brought me to tears, and spread a smile across my face. I feel SUPER fucking lucky to have had the opportunity to get to know them both, and I definitely now consider them good friends rather than just peers.

 

I am grateful for the Crash Pad Series, for making such beautiful, incredible, revolutionary erotic films centering queer and trans folks; all of which have profoundly helped me better understand myself as a sexual being. And for Jiz Lee, who has provided me with a number of great opportunities over the past couple of year and introduced me to some amazing folks working around the adult industry.

I am grateful for the blog squad, who have supported my platform, amplified my voice, invited me to contribute to discourse of sexual wellness, and helped me through everything from writer’s block to impostor syndrome.

 

What are y’all grateful for this holiday season? Leave your comments below!

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