Aw yay! I’m honestly so very happy to hear that this post was so helpful for you. I definitely get that feeling of “maybe it’s just where I’m at right now” too though, and I thought that about myself for a while as well. But then as I was helping another friend realize that they were aromantic, and was setting them up with resources to help them explore and navigate what that meant to them, I had a dawning realization about it within myself as well.

But yes, not only is it okay not to feel romantic attraction but it doesn’t make you a worse partner or lover either! And there are so many ways to experience relationships and bonds with people that aren’t romantically motivated or on the relationship escalator at all!

Thank you for all of your sharing and for opening my eyes to it being okay to not feel romantic attraction.

Idk if that makes sense, I just finished writing a story related to that and am in a headspace where reading anyone’s experiences being aro or ace spec is giving me a lot of feelings… So whether my ramblings made sense or not, thank you for, as you so often do, sharing so much, so eloquently. You rock.

Thank you!

Oof, yep, totally hear you on the weight of that relationship ladder. It really is unfortunate that saying “I love you” is so inherently tied to all of those expectations for amatanormative commitment, cause like you I also feel that love can exist in so many more diverse, non-traditional ways!

Really glad to hear that the piece resonated with you and I’m happy it has inspired some more introspection for you!

I hate the whole relationship ladder stuff. It is that expectation that I have found scares partners when love gets bought up because for so many people love has been a gateway to all that other stuff (co habiting, kids etc) whereas for me love is just love. How I feel about someone.

Thanks for writing this. It has given me lots to think about

Molly

Fal is very alloromantic.