I just want to take a quick minute to signal boost Taylor J. Mace’s recent post over on Feisty Fox Films about building community and strengthening support among sex bloggers. I think it’s so, so important for industry creatives of all kinds to reach out to one another
Nobody likes feeling like they are all alone on the fringes. I don’t. It fucking sucks.
So, regardless of whether you’re new, or you have been creating content in the sex ed/blogging/erotica/entertainment industry for a while, Taylor’s piece is an excellent read that I highly recommend:
“This post is written from the perspective of someone who has felt like both an outsider and an insider, and who will probably always feel like both at various points in time. It’s written to every blogger who ever feels like they may not belong (though everyone is welcome to read the post no matter who they are).”
Much like Taylor, I get really anxious too in regards to my blog and interactions I have with others. At the best of times I’m fairly certain that absolutely nobody is reading any of my crap and I have no business at all blogging. Period.
So, I have this genuine fear that I’m going to go to a sex ed conference one year and I’ll walk up to the sex bloggers and be like “hey, friends!” but then one of them will point at me and do the Donald Sutherland alien scream from the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and I’ll be seen as the impostor that I am.
If you get those feels too, you aren’t alone!
In general I’m not the most social person. As a foul mouthed, queer, non-monogamous, non-binary, chubby, hairy andro babe living in an extremely conservative region of Canada I receive pretty daily transphobic street harassment and online abuse.
Add in that I have a very unsupportive family who are incredibly antagonistic, demeaning, and abusive toward my queerness, and queer and trans folx in general, and… yeah. So, I keep to myself mostly and often find myself having to weigh the pros and cons of even leaving the house to buy milk.
But one group of folks that I have consistently found immense levels of support and empathy from, and who have made me feel like I was contributing to something greater, has been with the sex blogging community. I’ve even been incredibly fortunate to develop what I feel are some really great friendships with amazing people like Taylor and Sugarcunt, and I’m slowly getting to know many others too.
That’s something that I’d love for more to experience. So, to any sex bloggers, writers, sex workers, artists, illustrators, producers, performers, etc. creating content in this field, no matter where you are, please feel free to toss me a message on Twitter or reach out to me via email at nillinnow@gmail.com, should you want to connect with more peeps.
Specifically, I’d like to encourage any of you who identify as queer, trans, non-binary, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, or questioning, to drop me a line. Same goes for any and all crossdressers, traps, sissies, and femboys out there running their own blogs, clip stores, or Tumblrs, who are looking to connect and chat. Oh, and queer furries!
Unfortunately, not all LGBTQ+ positive spaces, let alone sex toy companies or events, are actually inclusive or welcoming to those who exist too far outside of the binary, socially acceptable levels of queerness. I aim to create those spaces that actively acknowledge and include folks struggling in the fringes.
I hope that some of you will join me in those efforts! Or, just message to tell me about the cool shit that you’re doing. Whatevs.