While the sex blogging community can be a welcoming place for many, it’s not immune to ignorance and, unfortunately, has been rife with major issues of transphobia from prominent community members throughout the years. As more trans and gender nonconforming bloggers have begun to speak up against these prejudices they have had to face an unprecedented amount of backlash, invalidation, tone policing, and abuse from individuals unwilling to acknowledge the roles they play in perpetuating cissexism and transphobia within sex positive communities and spaces.
As such, this page exists to provide trans and gender nonconforming bloggers with a list of safe community projects to participate in, resources to aid their blogging efforts, as well as peers that they can reach out to when in need.
Trans Inclusive Writing Prompts
These are all of the weekly, monthly, or annual writing projects that you can submit blog posts to alongside other peers who are actively supportive of trans bloggers. As a queer and non-binary individual I personally enjoy participating in the following prompts and events because they have explicitly made themselves LGBTQ+ inclusive and accessible to all:
Scavenger Hunt [leisurely, submit exhibitionist photos from a list of locations]
Masturbation Monday [weekly, more erotica based]
Sinful Sunday [weekly, more photo based]
Quote Quest [weekly, photo & writing based prompt]
Kink of the Week [every two weeks, theme focused]
Lingerie is for Everyone [monthly]
Love Yourself [monthly]
Queerousal [monthly, queer & trans centric!]
February Photofest [yearly, a photo based event run every February]
#30DayOrgasmFun [yearly, a self-pleasure focused event run every April]
Smutathon [yearly, 12-hour writing challenge to raise money for charities]
Unfortunately, not all of the writing prompts and projects are as safe, welcoming, or inclusive of trans, non-binary, and gender nonconforming individuals.
When possible, I recommend AVOIDING the following prompts and events due to major instances of cissexism, transphobia, and various degrees of queerphobia, as well as sex and kink negativity, from their organizers and many of their regular participants:
Sex Bloggers for Mental Health (SB4MH)
Food 4 Thought
The Penis Project
Tell Me About
Tie Me Up Tuesday
I would also like to warn you about the website Kinkly, and it’s “Sex Blogger Directory” so that you, as a trans blogger, can make an informed decision over whether or not to participate. Over the year’s Kinkly has made a number of extremely harmful and questionable decisions. There was:
- the time that they promoted unsafe sex practices through a partnership with Lelo, the company that released an unsafe condom and hired a known abuser and sex assault to be their PR person,
- the time that they posted an ALL WHITE list of 30 sex educators to follow on social media,
- their LONG history of ignoring transphobia, ableism, racism, and other forms of bigotry,
- fostering a toxic and abusive environment for writers and community members alike,
Much of this was pointed out by Chronic Sex in their “Why I’m Leaving Kinkly“ post in early 2019 but the crap just keeps on coming, For further reading on all of this, check out:
Dear Kinkly, I’m Out [An Open Letter]
While I debated about mentioning them at all, I simply can’t in good conscience say nothing as they have proven to be unsafe spaces with a history of members posting, supporting, and sharing discriminatory, demeaning, invalidating, and dismissive rhetoric toward trans and gender diverse individuals over their personal accounts. I hope to prevent others from experiencing further harm from them.
Trans Affirming & Inclusive Resources
The following links are to other resources and projects that specifically uplift, empower, center, and actively support trans, non-binary, and gender nonconforming bloggers, authors, content creators, and readers alike:
Sex Educators Review Porn: Want to review trans and queer inclusive porn from renowned adult entertainment studio Pink & White Productions? Check out these posts featuring the thoughts of other bloggers, authors, educators, speakers, and sex workers, then reach out and introduce yourself via email at [email protected]!
Trans Joy: an affirming blog post series from Quenby “celebrating the positive side of trans experiences, in an attempt to bring some balance to contemporary trans discourses.”
Guest Appearance Opportunities: A resource page developed by Taylor J. Mace of Feisty Fox Films that highlights places and people who regularly accept guest posts, podcast speakers, twitter chat moderators, and more.
Trans Bloggers to Reach Out To
Have you too been struggling with misgendering, cissexism, cisnormativiy, trans-antagonism, or even more overt instances of transphobia within the sex blogging community? You’re not alone! Here are a few community members who would be happy to hear you out and support you in the ways that you need:
Quenby [they/them]: a nerdy, queer as hell writer, performer, and event organizer who blogs at www.queerdoconfusion.wordpress.com.
Quinn Rhodes [he/him]: a queer, trans, disabled sex nerd with vaginismis, who blogs at www.onqueerstreet.com.
Feisty Fox Films [they/them]: a queer, nonbinary, transmasculine, polyamorous full-service sex worker, kink provider, and porn producer who blogs at www.feistyfoxfilms.com.
Anne Stagg [they/she]: a pansexual, genderqueer, femme author and poet who blogs at www.annestaggwrites.com.
And of course myself, Mx Nillin [they/them]. Please feel free to reach out to me via Twitter messaging or the Contact form here!
[Header image courtesy Broadly’s “Gender Spectrum Collection: Stock Photos Beyond the Binary“]