Fuck the Pain Away

CW: Breakups, depression, mental health struggles.

Last night was SO fucking good for my soul, y’all. Couldn’t have come at a better time either because lately I’ve been isolating a lot, not looking after my wellness, and really struggling with hurt because breakups are fucking awful and I really haven’t been doing okay lately.

I mean this shouldn’t be shocking to me, I’ve been through other breakups in my life and they weren’t particularly enjoyable either. But it has been over six years since the last one, so, I think that I forgot how brutal they can really be, and if I’m being completely honest this one hurts so much worse than any I’ve experienced before.

For the last week in particular I’ve been going through really intense emotional break downs about things but last night I decided to break my pattern, not to isolate myself, and I pushed myself out of the apartment to go to the mansion for a party.

I’m so glad that I did!

One of the shittiest aspects of my breakup grieving this time around is that ever since it happened I’ve had a lot of performance anxiety, stress, and insecurity around any and all group sex. It affected me a little at the Christmas orgy, which kind of kept me from feeling fully in the moment as much as I’d had liked, as well as some recent play with Fal and our friend Jacob in which I had trouble getting an erection.

But that insecurity and anxiety has been fucking slain, friends!

And it’s all thanks to good pals, new comrades, tasty food and GREAT queer, non-monogamous group sex. Things kicked off on a wonderful note when somebody who I hadn’t met, and who hadn’t been to the mansion in a long while, introduced themself and said that they loved my blog and were learning so much from reading it all the time.

Hearing that affirmation for my work was a HUGE confidence boost and set my happy mood for the night.

I used that positive energy to chat with Sarah about how much I’d always wanted a picture of me eating her out so we went upstairs to the master bedroom to take a few for February Photofest next month.

Of course, once I got started with tasting her, my tongue playing with and exploring her clit for the first time, my hands gripping her incredible thighs and rubbing her soft stomach, hearing her moan while her excitement dripped down my chin, I couldn’t help myself. I just had to help my friend cum as a thank you for both the photos together and all of the amazing support she’s shown me.

As some of you know, that’s something that I loved doing with my former partner and, if I’m being honest, I’ve struggled with it since. So, being able to eat out Sarah, watching her cum from my vantage point between her legs, feeling her body quiver in my hands, knowing that I was able to give her so much pleasure from an intimate sexual act that I had recently been having problems with, was just so fucking freeing and fun and felt really, really fucking good.

It was both hot as fuck, and so incredibly wholesome., which was then followed up with some friendly, affectionate cuddling on a couch.

The fun times and sexy affirmations didn’t stop there though!

Much like the Christmas orgy there were about 7 of us who decided to use the same downstairs space for sexy group fun again, but this time I got to play with some new cuties! Joining Fal, Sox, and I from last time were new friends Bianca and Nicholas, as well as Sarah who played voyeur to the whole thing and Jacob, who made a quick cameo appearance too.

Things started with Fal, Nicholas, and I kissing, caressing, and playing with Sox as she lay on some mats on the ground between us. Each of us took turns playing with her tits and sucking on her nipples until I fingered her deeply while Fal rubbed her clit. She came SO hard that she squirted all over my hand, forearm, and the mat under her.

It was fucking amazing! Made all the more hot by the fact that Emily had come downstairs to watch too and at one point I looked up to see her there, her legs spread, as Jacob fingered her for a moment. Ever the orgy mama though, once Sox had cum Sarah took off to find us towels and get us some water to drink.

Next I watched as Fal sucked Nicholas’ fucking beautiful and formidable  cock for a little while Sox sucked mine, then Fal laid down in between us all as we worshiped their body until they came hard from using a wand on their clit while Sox had her fingers deep inside of them.

At this point I was still a little in my head and feeling some performance anxiety but then Nicholas’ partner Bianca joined us and all of that changed. After enjoying the show of her just DEVOURING their cock for a few minutes, Nicholas sat up, glanced over at me, and then softly spoke to Bianca just loud enough for me to hear as well: “What do you think about showing off by sucking Nillin’s girl cock, then letting them cum all over your tits?”

I saw Bianca smile as they both looked at me before Nicholas added: “if that’s something that you’d like, of course.”

Now keep in mind that I’ve probably literally spoken to Bianca for just a couple of moments between two parties. We barely knew each other. But believe me when I say I had already been checking her out because she has the most gorgeous eyes and this incredibly alluring smile, amazing breasts, and I could tell from seeing her with Nicholas that she sucked cock like a pro.

I HAD to get in on that!

I laid down, put all of my anxiety out of my mind, told my insecurity to fuck off, and excitedly observed her crawl across the mats over to me, her big beautiful eyes zeroing in on exactly what she wanted. I watched in awe as she voraciously devoured my girl cock, taking it deep into her smiling mouth, as I slowly grew to fill her throat.

Let me just say that she was fucking ravenous!

I closed my eyes as I felt her envelope me, taking in all the sensations her mouth provided. Her hands worked their magic as well, stroking my shaft and playing with my soft lady balls. It wasn’t long before I felt more hands on my body, as Fal, Sox and Nicholas stroked me up and down my body, whispering sexy encouragement all the while.

I knew I couldn’t last long. The sensations were too much, my hips bucked with pleasure as I signaled my imminent orgasm, and just before I lost myself, I felt Sarah’s lips against mine, her tongue pushing between them, pushing into my mouth.

I groaned deeply as I started to cum, the first shot splattering over my belly before Bianca took control, landing every remaining shot on her incredible tits. The mess dripping down her chest, she sat back as Nicholas gave her soft words of affirmation and encouragement. holding her close. I lay there breathlessly as Sox leaned over, softly licking my cum off my stomach, with a giggle, glancing at the rest of us innocently: “Oh, I already know they taste good.” I could have fucking died and gone to heaven, folks.

Finally, our gracious host pulled out the piece de resistance, the sybian!

But you’ll have to wait until February Photofest 2020 starts in just under 3-weeks to read about that.