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Fuck the Pain Away

Posted on January 12, 2020February 20, 2022 by MxNillin

CW: Breakups, depression, mental health struggles.

Last night was SO fucking good for my soul, y’all. Couldn’t have come at a better time either because lately I’ve been isolating a lot, not looking after my wellness, and really struggling with hurt because breakups are fucking awful and I really haven’t been doing okay lately.

I mean this shouldn’t be shocking to me, I’ve been through other breakups in my life and they weren’t particularly enjoyable either. But it has been over six years since the last one, so, I think that I forgot how brutal they can really be, and if I’m being completely honest this one hurts so much worse than any I’ve experienced before.

For the last week in particular I’ve been going through really intense emotional break downs about things but last night I decided to break my pattern, not to isolate myself, and I pushed myself out of the apartment to go to the mansion for a party.

I’m so glad that I did!

One of the shittiest aspects of my breakup grieving this time around is that ever since it happened I’ve had a lot of performance anxiety, stress, and insecurity around any and all group sex. It affected me a little at the Christmas orgy, which kind of kept me from feeling fully in the moment as much as I’d had liked, as well as some recent play with Fal and our friend Jacob in which I had trouble getting an erection.

But that insecurity and anxiety has been fucking slain, friends!

And it’s all thanks to good pals, new comrades, tasty food and GREAT queer, non-monogamous group sex. Things kicked off on a wonderful note when somebody who I hadn’t met, and who hadn’t been to the mansion in a long while, introduced themself and said that they loved my blog and were learning so much from reading it all the time.

Hearing that affirmation for my work was a HUGE confidence boost and set my happy mood for the night.

I used that positive energy to chat with Sarah about how much I’d always wanted a picture of me eating her out so we went upstairs to the master bedroom to take a few for February Photofest next month.

Of course, once I got started with tasting her, my tongue playing with and exploring her clit for the first time, my hands gripping her incredible thighs and rubbing her soft stomach, hearing her moan while her excitement dripped down my chin, I couldn’t help myself. I just had to help my friend cum as a thank you for both the photos together and all of the amazing support she’s shown me.

As some of you know, that’s something that I loved doing with my former partner and, if I’m being honest, I’ve struggled with it since. So, being able to eat out Sarah, watching her cum from my vantage point between her legs, feeling her body quiver in my hands, knowing that I was able to give her so much pleasure from an intimate sexual act that I had recently been having problems with, was just so fucking freeing and fun and felt really, really fucking good.

It was both hot as fuck, and so incredibly wholesome., which was then followed up with some friendly, affectionate cuddling on a couch.

The fun times and sexy affirmations didn’t stop there though!

Much like the Christmas orgy there were about 7 of us who decided to use the same downstairs space for sexy group fun again, but this time I got to play with some new cuties! Joining Fal, Sox, and I from last time were new friends Bianca and Nicholas, as well as Sarah who played voyeur to the whole thing and Jacob, who made a quick cameo appearance too.

Things started with Fal, Nicholas, and I kissing, caressing, and playing with Sox as she lay on some mats on the ground between us. Each of us took turns playing with her tits and sucking on her nipples until I fingered her deeply while Fal rubbed her clit. She came SO hard that she squirted all over my hand, forearm, and the mat under her.

It was fucking amazing! Made all the more hot by the fact that Emily had come downstairs to watch too and at one point I looked up to see her there, her legs spread, as Jacob fingered her for a moment. Ever the orgy mama though, once Sox had cum Sarah took off to find us towels and get us some water to drink.

Next I watched as Fal sucked Nicholas’ fucking beautiful and formidable  cock for a little while Sox sucked mine, then Fal laid down in between us all as we worshiped their body until they came hard from using a wand on their clit while Sox had her fingers deep inside of them.

At this point I was still a little in my head and feeling some performance anxiety but then Nicholas’ partner Bianca joined us and all of that changed. After enjoying the show of her just DEVOURING their cock for a few minutes, Nicholas sat up, glanced over at me, and then softly spoke to Bianca just loud enough for me to hear as well: “What do you think about showing off by sucking Nillin’s girl cock, then letting them cum all over your tits?”

I saw Bianca smile as they both looked at me before Nicholas added: “if that’s something that you’d like, of course.”

Now keep in mind that I’ve probably literally spoken to Bianca for just a couple of moments between two parties. We barely knew each other. But believe me when I say I had already been checking her out because she has the most gorgeous eyes and this incredibly alluring smile, amazing breasts, and I could tell from seeing her with Nicholas that she sucked cock like a pro.

I HAD to get in on that!

I laid down, put all of my anxiety out of my mind, told my insecurity to fuck off, and excitedly observed her crawl across the mats over to me, her big beautiful eyes zeroing in on exactly what she wanted. I watched in awe as she voraciously devoured my girl cock, taking it deep into her smiling mouth, as I slowly grew to fill her throat.

Let me just say that she was fucking ravenous!

I closed my eyes as I felt her envelope me, taking in all the sensations her mouth provided. Her hands worked their magic as well, stroking my shaft and playing with my soft lady balls. It wasn’t long before I felt more hands on my body, as Fal, Sox and Nicholas stroked me up and down my body, whispering sexy encouragement all the while.

I knew I couldn’t last long. The sensations were too much, my hips bucked with pleasure as I signaled my imminent orgasm, and just before I lost myself, I felt Sarah’s lips against mine, her tongue pushing between them, pushing into my mouth.

I groaned deeply as I started to cum, the first shot splattering over my belly before Bianca took control, landing every remaining shot on her incredible tits. The mess dripping down her chest, she sat back as Nicholas gave her soft words of affirmation and encouragement. holding her close. I lay there breathlessly as Sox leaned over, softly licking my cum off my stomach, with a giggle, glancing at the rest of us innocently: “Oh, I already know they taste good.” I could have fucking died and gone to heaven, folks.

Finally, our gracious host pulled out the piece de resistance, the sybian!

But you’ll have to wait until February Photofest 2020 starts in just under 3-weeks to read about that.

 

 

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  • Fal
  • group sex
  • Kate
  • mental health
  • non-monogamy
  • Sarah
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  • 17 thoughts on “Fuck the Pain Away”

    1. Pingback: Masturbation Monday Week 280 Round-Up by Amy Norton
    2. Brigit Delaney says:
      January 17, 2020 at 11:42 am

      Group sex can be so sensually overwhelming (at least in my small experience)…definitely a way to clear the brain and make space for healing and a better outlook. Sounds like you had a blast!

      Reply
    3. moxiedavid says:
      January 16, 2020 at 8:22 pm

      Fantastic new beginning in your post-breakup scrapped book. No more feeling like a “scrapped book.” Now you’ve begun Your New Life Creation!!!
      Bravissimo/a

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 29, 2020 at 1:01 am

        Thank you so much! You’re absolutely right that it’s starting to feel a lot less like a breakup scrapbook and a lot more like a new beginnings album.

        Reply
    4. Kayla Lords says:
      January 16, 2020 at 1:31 pm

      Break ups suck SOOOO bad, but I’m glad you found a way to combat the pain and anxiety. Also, oral sex for a photo (gotta get that content, lol!) and simply to provide pleasure sounds amazing.

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 29, 2020 at 1:03 am

        They REALLY do, right?? Just… not fun at all. But hells yeah, gotta get that content is right! LOL But yeah, seriously, literally eating Emily’s pussy simply for a photo, then committing to helping her cum as a thank you, was just super hot and wholesome feeling all at once.

        Reply
    5. Jupiter Grant says:
      January 13, 2020 at 1:55 pm

      Oh, this sounds like wonderful fun. I’m glad you all had fun, and I love this image!! 👄

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 14, 2020 at 12:00 am

        Thank you! It was such a blast. I’m really glad to have this really exciting photo memento to remember it by 😊

        Reply
    6. DeviantSuccubus says:
      January 13, 2020 at 12:25 pm

      I am so glad to hear that you have had this amazing experience and things seem to have turned around a bit for you. <3

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 14, 2020 at 12:06 am

        Aw thanks! Yeah it kinda has been feeling like things have been turning around at least a little lately. It’s a nice change of pace tbh lol.

        Reply
    7. Julie says:
      January 13, 2020 at 7:36 am

      This is a wonderful post MxNillan, firstly because of getting out when you needed it and then the events of the night. I love the photo and find it extremely sexy. Roll on Feb xx

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 14, 2020 at 11:55 am

        Thank you, sometimes giving yourself that push to go out is so worth it. Glad you love the pic! 😍

        Reply
    8. Lizzie says:
      January 13, 2020 at 2:55 am

      Wow very hot

      Reply
    9. Molly says:
      January 12, 2020 at 10:51 am

      The thought of someone offering to go down on me just for a photo opportunity and for no other reason than to give me pleasure, and not as a expectation of anything on their part is quite frankly supremely hot but also something I would struggle with because my head would assume that I was meant to do something in return. Hmm am I making any sense?

      Anyway I think what you shared with Emily and how you wrote it is beautiful and so damn sexy to me

      Mollyx

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 13, 2020 at 6:50 pm

        That totally makes sense and technically is what happened for me later when Bianca just wanted to suck my girl cock, and let me cum all over her chest, with no expectations or wants for reciprocation. And part of me was thinking I was maybe being selfish by not giving her an orgasm in return!

        But nope, just like my going down on Emily earlier was solely because I just wanted to pleasure her and get some hot pics while doing it, Bianca genuinely just wanted to suck my girl cock and get ejaculated on just for her exhibitionist enjoyment and for Nicholas’ voyeurism, no reciprocal sex acts needed.

        In that sense it was kind of cool experiencing both sides of that sexual dynamic with two different individuals in one night.

        But yeah I LOVE that pic of Emily and I and I’m so glad that we got to share that experience together. Plus the cuddling later was so excellent! Was jus all around kind of a beautiful night 😊❤

        Reply
    10. PurpleSole says:
      January 12, 2020 at 7:42 am

      Would love to know about the sybian! And photo fest woop woop, Im so looking forward to seeing everyone’s photos.

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        January 12, 2020 at 1:29 pm

        I’m really stoked to share about the sybian! It’ll be cool too because my partner Fal is going to co-write that post with me to provide their perspective of the experience along with mine, both presented as separate thoughts.

        REALLY excited about photofest too! Woop woop indeed lol

        Reply

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