[CW: this post contains sexually explicit images of girl cock.]
Happy holidays, y’all!
Wait, what the shit is all that, you ask? Well, it’s a blog post series in which I either stick my girl cock inside some seemingly random inanimate objects, mostly foods so far, as masturbatory aids, or, I shove something up my ass as a makeshift dildo, and then write about how that goes.
Sometimes it feels pretty good, mostly it doesn’t, but it’s always entertaining as fuck!
Keeping with this year’s theme of going back to some basics, this installment is all about SOCKS!
Before we get into the bulk of the post though, I’ve got an exciting announcement to make:
For the first time ever there is now actual video of me doing a Mx Nillin Fucks!
So, if you’d like to watch me jerk off with some socks and fucking ruin a pair of leg warmers through ejaculating copious amounts of semen into them, then sign up for free at Make Love Not Porn and rent the official “Mx Nillin Fucks… Socks!” videos for just $5.00 each!
Now, let’s get to it!
How Much Does it Cost to Fuck?
As much as a pack of fucking socks costs at your local store… what do ya want? I ain’t gonna price check shit at the shop for you.
Go look around for your own fabric semen strainers.
Depending on the type of socks you’re looking for though, like ankle socks, crew socks, tube socks, toe socks, knee-highs, thigh-highs, or leg warmers, and the fabric of them, like cotton, wool, nylon, polyester, acrylic, or spandex, prices are gonna be all over the place.
Look for something middle of the road price wise; like a pack of 3 or more for $6.99 to $15.99, tops. That’s a reasonable price for a few soon-to-be cum rags.
For your most economic option though, just go to a big box store and pick up a 10 or 20 pack of cheap as fuck crew socks for $10.00. They aren’t going to feel as incredible as acrylic or polyester but trust me, they’ll do the trick.
How Much Prep Does it Take?
However many fucking seconds it takes to go to your dresser and pick out the sock you’re going to rub your genitals with.
The only possible thing that could extend this prep time is if you don’t have any clean socks.
PLEASE, for the love of fuck, don’t jerk off with dirty, sweaty, or already cum stained socks. Fucking clean them first.
Even if they are brand new, store bought ones; WASH THEM. You think socks from the store, factory sealed or not, are somehow magically sanitized during the manufacturing, packaging, shipping, storage, and handling processes. Fuck no. For all you know there’s a jerking off with socks QA department that tests them at the gooddamn factory and they’ve already been jizzed in once.
Okay, probably not, but you should still fucking wash your new socks.
Though I’m one to talk… when I was young, like, 14, I had this stuffed tiger that I cut a hole in and I fucked and ejaculated into that thing ALL the time. It was way too big for any washing machine though so I just kinda pulled out some of the crunchy stuffing every so often and figured that was good enough… 2 years later and that poor stuffie had to be straight up trashed.
That fucking smell still haunts me…
What? Y’all don’t know me!!
What’s It Like To Fuck
So fucking good, holy shit! ALL of them. Like, all the socks. Every sock. Well, at least the ones that I tried.
Okay, so here’s the deal, I couldn’t just buy one or two pairs of socks and say that was a fair assessment of what it’s like to jerk off with socks in general. That’d be disingenuous and shit.
Instead I picked up:
– 1 pair of 100% acrylic, loose-knit leg warmers.
– 1 pair of 60% polyester, 30% acrylic, 10% wool double thick knee-highs.
– a 3 pack of 73% bamboo, 25% rayon, 2% elastane ankle socks.
– a 20 pack of plain white 100% cotton crew socks.
And every single one of them made me cum, even the cheap ass cotton shit that I honestly thought was going to feel like garbage. Nope! They felt fucking amazing too and I fucking wrecked the first pair I used.
Seriously, I coated the inside of that sexy fabric foot protector with so much fucking semen I just threw the pair straight out after my first use. Both of ’em, even the sock that wasn’t seeping with ejaculate because when you buy the big bulk packs you can afford to be a fucking queen about it if you want
But I really want to focus on the those loose knit leg warmers here because sweet mother of god…
I mean, check out this screengrab from my Make Love Not Porn clip. Not only am I immensely fucking proud of that geyser of fun-time goo, but THAT is how good those leg warmers were.
Also, let’s just take a moment to appreciate that up until this very moment, there has not been a single cumshot featured in the series, and here’s the first in all of it’s sloppy, delicious glory.
Anyway, enough gushing about my gushing, back to the socks
What’s cool too is that each different type of socks has a really different experience of using it. Like, because they’re so small the ankle socks cling to my girl cock a lot more and stimulate every part they cover, which is good, but because the fabric is generally so thin it also makes my girl cock overly-sensitive, a lot faster. I mean, I still fucking splooged in them like a desperate tween in search of the best orgasms, but thicker socks are way better in my opinion.
Now, I’m sure that not all socks are created equal, and you run a good chance of buying some that make your genitals weep, but from what I’ve experienced so far this is just as good, if not slightly better, than banana peels… which are also fucking outstanding.
10 out of fucking 10! Gotta say, so far the stuff featured this year on the series has been pretty fucking great.
I think we ought to challenge this semblance of security and do something fucking ridiculous next month… Stay tuned for that.
And don’t forget! If you want to watch the videos of me shooting that geyser of cum in those leg warmers, or wrecking those white cotton crew socks, than head on over to Make Love Not Porn, sign up for free, and rent them for just $5.00 each. It’s a great way to support the blog too as %50 of all rental fees come back to me.
See you next time!
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