It’s finally happened! I finally get it! This past week I was able to experience my first time in sub space.
Kitten and I have been using this BDSM app called “Obedience” where they can get points for completing tasks throughout the week, and then spend those points on rewards like head scritches, hand feeding, getting one of my worn shirts, and a switch option that allows them to top me for a change. After saving up a lot of points, they cashed in on the switch option and have been excitedly talking it up for weeks now!
I’ve had a lot of trouble falling into subspace in the past due to a variety of struggles with body insecurities, discomfort with pain (I’m a delicate flower), and fears around really giving into vulnerability, but kitten was amazing and took things at my pace. What helped most though, was how heavily we leaned into the pet play this time!
Now, I’ve recently come to the pretty big realization that despite me having previously invested in kitten play gear, I am actually a pup! A playful, silly, affectionate, and trusting pup who loves being made to feel sexy and wanted and cute and even a little bit hurty. Sadly, the cost of a pup hood has been super inaccessible to me over the years and I’ve been unable to convince any sellers to get me a review one either. So I had to improvise and using my old kitten ears I still pretended to be a pup, a little wolfie, for our play.
Worked out great though! As soon as kitten started talking to me like a pup, and made me a rope collar, I fell into that headspace really hard.
It was seriously a revolutionary sexual experience for me.
A lot of it was a blur but I remember snippets. I remember them face fucking me. I remember them pushing my limits with pain and it feeling so good surrendering myself to that. I remember looking into their eyes and not being able to look away. I remember feeling like I couldn’t control my writhing body, and that I just wanted them to take me so, so badly. I remember them putting the ball gag in my mouth so that I couldn’t taste them anymore, and how completely fucking desperate that made me feel.
After the scene was done I lay in my sweat, catching my breath, with kitten holding me close, and I cried. It was good cry, a cathartic one. I felt an immense release. It was honestly one of the most vulnerable experiences I’d ever had and I feel now like it will make me a better Master for my kitten having understood the experience of subspace first hand.
That wasn’t the only benefit either! I actually overall feel a tremendous release from all the internalized shame and insecurities I was feeling about kink and pup play before this. I just felt so, I dunno, awkward and embarrassed about it on some level. That shit is gone now, shattered! I feel uninhibited and excited to do more, to embrace my pup persona and to really jump into all kinds of more play. Like, I want to try sounding too! And I want to be milked! I want to play with cock pumps and do some docking and pee on Verne!
Below are some pics that kitten snapped to commemorate my first time in sub space. I absolutely love the mindless thirst on my face.
Have you ever experienced sub space before? What was it like and how did it change or affect your perspectives of sex and kink?