I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion lately in my various social circles about what it means to be t4t. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, t4t stands for “trans for trans,” which, as you can imagine, describes a trans person who is mostly, if not solely, interested in connections with other trans people. This of course includes nonbinary and gender nonconforming folks who are also into other trans, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming folks but tnbgnc4tnbgnc is kinda a lot, so, t4t it is.
But being t4t isn’t simply choosing to forge intimate relationships with other trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming cuties. There’s more nuance to it than that for me.
Being t4t is actively rejecting the queerphobic and transphobic notions that trans and nonbinary people, and the relationships they forge with one another, are somehow unnatural.
Being t4t is celebrating my own revolutionary self-acceptance, transition and personal exploration outside of the confines of cisnormative and heteronormative assumptions about bodies and intimacy.
Being t4t is fucking loving nonconforming bodies regardless of what their transition looks like for them. And also really loving t dick, girl cock and bussy.
Being t4t is knowing that my partners and lovers aren’t going to make cisnormative assumptions about my intimacy needs, touch me in invalidating ways or use terminology that misgenders or invalidates how I experience myself.
Being t4t is staring shame, judgment, anger or violence for expressing my gender identity
Being t4t is challenging traditional gender roles and social norms with every kiss.
Being t4t is choosing self-acceptance, love and authenticity in radically queer and nonconforming ways.
Being t4t is cheering on my husband as he celebrates his changing voice, his growing dick and the gradual increase in his facial and body hair since starting testosterone. It’s re-learning how to give him pleasure, and relishing in the fact that I get to continuously explore that with him.
Being t4t is sitting on the couch with my trans partner, watching our favourite shows and looking at each other knowingly as the obviously queer coded egg does something that’s actually really gay.
Being t4t means feeling safe, seen and affirmed in every single interaction, knowing that I can be my authentic self without masking my queerness or neurodivergency.
At this juncture in my life I would not choose to pursue a relationship with a cishet person because I very rarely feel safe and respected by them as a disabled nonbinary queer. It is immensely important for me to enter into intimate connections with people who understand my experiences, respect who I am and whom I simply do not have to worry about misgendering me, deadnaming me, feeling ashamed of being with me or trying to control how I express myself.
So when I’m meeting somebody and really vibing with them, getting to know them, it becomes fairly obvious through those discussions who is trans, nonbinary or gendernonconforming, and honestly it’s absolutely 100% going to be those individuals who I put any effort of developing a bond with. Because they just get it.
I love to masturbate with other men