Well hello there people with a penis, or people who just want to learn more about the penis! Have you ever heard of the frenulum? It’s okay, I hadn’t either until earlier this year. But if this is an area of you penis that you haven’t yet explored I HIGHLY recommend that you look into because if yours is even half as sensitive an erogenous zone as mine is… then you need to get on playing with that, stat!
What the hell, and where the heck, is this “frenulum”?
Quick 101 time! The frenulum is a band of tissue located just under the glans penis (the “head” of your penis) that attaches the foreskin to the penis itself. It is often cited as one of the most sensitive places on a penis.
For those who are circumcised, you may or may not have much of your frenulum left depending on how your circumcision was done. In most North American circumcisions, the frenulum is almost completely severed and removed along with the foreskin. As such, everybody’s penis will have varying levels of sensitivity depending on any number of factors that may or may not include circumcision.
If you do have a frenulum, cool! If you do not, cool! Whether you’re circumcised or not, have your frenulum or don’t, these factors do NOT determine your virility or sexual function. You are not “broken” and your penis is still awesome either way! [Unless you don’t like your penis, then, boooooo penises!]
Just the Tips on Frenulum Stimulation
If the frenulum does end up being a pleasurable revelation for you (you’re welcome) then here are a few more ideas for you to explore either on your own or with a partner(s), play friend, fuck buddy, whatever!
Pro-tip 1: Let the person(s) you’re having sex with know about how much you like stimulation on your frenulum. In fact, let them know about all of the areas that you like, or don’t like, being touched! Great, healthy, communication in the bedroom involves feeling comfortable and confident in expressing your sexual needs with anybody you may be engaging in sexual activity with. Encourage them to play around with ways that they may stimulate your frenulum during foreplay, oral sex, and/or with toys.
For those perhaps giving oral to a person with a penis, release the damn Kraken with your tongue! Seriously. Let it wander. Do circles. Drag it all around the underside of the penis head and listen out for those gasps, moans, etc. to cue you into whether or not you’re hitting the right spot.
Note: if you are engaging in sexual activity with a queer identified person who has a penis, be sure to ask them how they would like their genitalia referred to! For many queer and trans folk, developing and using appropriate terminology for their body can be an extremely liberating and positive journey toward healthy self-discovery. For example; my penis is my “girl cock”.
Pro-tip 2: Get a vibe. Any vibe, seriously [so long as it is body safe]. Using vibrating toys (eggs, vibrators, bullets, or wands) on the frenulum is honestly divine. I’ve gone full play sessions experiencing all sort of pleasure waves and mini-orgasms with a well placed vibe on the shaft of my girl cock.
I HIGHLY recommend the Shibari Wand for frenulum stimulation. It is body safe, lightweight (for a wand), rechargeable, and economical. About a week ago, after my partner was casually playing with my girl cock for about half-an-hour on the couch they then went and grabbed our Shibari Wand. With it set to the high, sustained vibration setting, they grabbed my girl cock and held the Shibari to my frenulum. Less than 5-minutes later I had, I kid you not, the most intense full body orgasm and the messiest, most powerful cumshot I’ve had in months. How powerful? Over the shoulder powerful. No jokes, we had to cut some of my hair afterward because I shot that high and far.
Great thing about the Shibari vibe too is that there are a lot of settings that play with intensity level and vibration patterns as well. So you have some room to experiment with what feels the best to you.
Pro-tip 3: If you don’t own, or have a means of acquiring, a vibe of some kind that’s okay too. Many people enjoy and have experienced orgasm from frenulum stimulation with use of their good ol’ fashioned fingers and hands. It just takes patience, practice, and persistence in exploring exactly what makes you feel best. Some individuals can achieve orgasm from softly rubbing, or “strumming”, their frenulum for a sustained period of time with their fingers.
Pro-tip 4: Be creative with using other fabrics and items as stimulation aids! For example, wearing a pair of cheap wool gloves or a soft winter mitt while playing can potentially add whole new levels of pleasure (just take your time and keep an eye out for skin redness, soreness, or irritation).
Using a pair of panties, or underwear, or any other item of clothing you don’t mind getting messy, could also help. Alternatively, if you have any stuffed animals or soft pillows to rub up against, consider trying them out too! You never know what feels great until you try!
Hump away, friend!
NOTE: Thursday updates will be re-posts from mxnillin.wordpress.com, which was permanently suspended by WordPress due to their sexphobic anti-porn and anti-sex work policies. This post was originally published on November 14, 2016. Click here for the full story.