When you’ve had to operate emotionally at a 10 for so long, it’s hard accepting that you’re safe enough to relax and not operate in survival mode. I made a lot of really big mistakes last year while in an activated state that I really regret. Mistakes that almost cost me one of the most…
Tag: mental health
The 38-Year-Old Queer
In the past I’ve only done these posts every five years; first when I turned 30 and then again at 35. In both cases I reflected on difficult feelings about my identity and how bad my mental health always gets around my birthdays. It’s a trauma response for sure. After so many years of disappointment…
I Had No Future Until Now
Nobody said this was gonna be easy, but I didn’t think that it would be this hard either. I’m on a bunch of dating apps, matching with people here and there, but they’re all widely dead ends. Missed connections, conflicting schedules, drops in conversation, a lack of energy on both sides, it’s all contributed to…
When Polyamory and Non-monogamy Gets Hard; Unpacking Big Feelings and Re-Centring Yourself
Content note: mention of sexual assault. For the last decade I’ve been polyamorous and in non-monogamous relationships. Overall I can confidently say that I’ve felt pretty good about it, and it’s had a positive impact on my life. I’ve met some really amazing people and had a lot of profoundly memorable experiences with them. It…
Uninspired
I’ve been having a lot of trouble keeping up with writing on the blog lately and it’s been bumming me out a little. Not that this is super uncommon. My motivation and excitement can kind of come and go in waves depending on what else is going on in my life, but January is usually…