Okay, so, first things first: going on hookup apps as a nonbinary person fucking sucks. It just does, okay? If you’re not getting creepily fetishized and love bombed by randos then you’re getting misgendered and told you’re not real, a joke, confused, or “just wanting attention”, etc. It’s kinda a huge fucking buzzkill.
Yet, I had to check it out cause I hit a dead end with Tinder at the time.
Lucky for me, quite a few other trans folks and enbies are also on Grindr and there happens to be a fairly reliable, and respectful, way of finding them! While browsing other profiles you can choose filters that let your narrow your results down more to your liking, simultaneously ignoring pretty much everything else. Of course, I chose to set it so that I’d see all the trans folks, and fuck yeah did it deliver! Suddenly, my app was filled with profile after profile of cute trans bois, trans girls, and hot as fuck enbies.
It’s really awesome tbh, and I wish there was a way for me to filter results to just being other trans and queer folks on all dating sites and apps. The only major problem with Grindr in particular being that most of those cuties were behind paywall bullshit.
It’s called “XTRA”, and unless you dish out for it you’re only shown a small sampling of active accounts, many of which are hundreds of kilometers away. It blows. Especially since I happen to know for a goddamn fact that there are many, many trans queers in my city and community that regularly use Grindr. I know this because we talk about that shit all that time, yet I didn’t see any of them, let alone very many locals in general. The closest person I ended up chatting with early on was in Calgary, over 6-hours away from me in Saskatoon.
That’s uh… not best for hookups.
And it sucks too because this person, transboi4cock, is super fucking cute, so goddam hot, and omg I want them. Like, if they were local I’d hookup, and/or go out, with them in a heartbeat! To my surprise, we ended up hitting it off really, really well too. There I was, my first night on Grindr, literally moments after creating my account and boom, we got to chatting and connecting for days afterward.
From all of the horror stories I’ve heard from trans guys on there, I’d say I lucked out.
Of course, I also got messaged by a bunch of cis dudes too. All of whom clearly didn’t read my profile at all. Instead of, you know, respecting my gender identity they opted to call me “dude”, “guy”, “bro”, etc., asked if I had a cock, and filled my inbox with unsolicited dick pics of their own accompanied with the typical call for sex, “hey, you up?” Some even practically begged for my attention with a steady stream of “sup?”, “hey”, “interested?”, “hello?”, “wanna hookup?”, “hai there”, “you awake?”, “want to play?”, “wanna fuk?” etc. messages in such quick succession I just had to outright block them.
It’s like… fucking chill out, you know? If somebody isn’t responding then stop messaging them! You’re not owed any responses and even if I might have been remotely interested, I’m not anymore because now I’m fucking annoyed.
All things considered though… not bad! Best part is that transboi4cock and I are also now friends on other social media, and we’re planning a long distance video date, possibly with sexy times, someday soon! I also invited them to the orgies that I’m hosting. I’m not expecting it to happen, what with them being 481 KM away, but hey… an enby can dream.
For the rest of y’all, how has your Grindr experiences been? Feel free to share the good, bad, and ugly, in the comments below!