Welcome to Day 3 of February Photofest 2019 on MxNillin.com
Doubling as a Sinful Sunday post.
The first two weeks of posts this month will be lewds and nudes from a couple of years back, taken shortly after I first came out. These have NEVER been uploaded to the blog before and thus haven’t been seen by anyone other than my partners and close friends, until now.
From the diaries of Mx Nillin: May 8, 2015,
It’s my fifth erection of the day.
Once again, I sneak off to the single stall, gender neutral washroom down the hall from my work desk and unbutton my pants. Almost immediately I feel the pressure on my groin loosen. My girl cock breathes… slowly hanging heavier in the grey with pink lace panties I bought just a few days earlier.
Never before in my life had I ever wore panties outside of my home, let alone my bedroom. Yet here I was with yet another pair of them on under my work pants, going for a week straight now, rubbing against me in ALL the right ways.
I couldn’t help it. It felt so goddamn incredibly good. Every few hours I felt myself grow hard and harder, straining against the zipper of my pants, begging to be let out.
As much as I had read that “real” trans people didn’t transition for sexual gratification, I couldn’t ignore the fact that for me sexual gratification was most definitely a part of my transition. Why shouldn’t it be? I’d repressed my sexuality for so long it seemed fucking ridiculous to keep doing so after coming out just because mainstream narratives had created this bullshit gatekeeping, all in some misguided effort to justify queer bodies to cishet critics.
Fuck that, I’m doing me MY way.
I pull down my panties a bit, take my girl cock in hand, and slowly stroke myself. It doesn’t take long before I spill my mess all over the tile floor of the bathroom.
Fuck that, I’m doing me MY fucking way.
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Finally, be sure to click the February Photofest 2019 logo below to see pics from other bloggers participating in this year’s event!
There are so few moments in which to embrace embodiment and feelings of deliciousness that I believe we should take them when we can. This post was super hot, too!
I completely agree! And thank you so much! I’m glad that it was arousing too. It’s meant to be hot š
Thank you for reading!
Hell yeah, it is!
“Iām doing me MY fucking way” A-fucking-men to that. I hate the narrative that if you are somehow getting off on what you are doing then that makes it sordid or perverted, you are meant to be doing it for inner peace and the goodness of the world. Fuck that noise, I discovered kink and wrote a sex blog for many reasons but one of the biggest one was because it made my cunt wet and I am not going to apologies for that.
Mollyx
Ugh, I hate that narrative too! It’s so frustrating because it’s shame packaged in self-love, which just makes it feel all the more insidious. Exploring yourself is radical and empower but NOT if you experience any sexual pleasure. Fuck that noise is right! I can be true to myself AND feel good. I’m glad that you’ve taken that approach to your work too!
Love those “sneak peek” images!!
Same! They’ve always been some of my faves.
I have taken satin panties to work a couple of times before, i was very nervous but it was so exciting, I thought someone would see the pantie line and immediately know they were ladies panties and they would know what I was, a sissy, closet gay, cross dresser, cuckold even. If they ever saw them there was no going back to my secret life, yet it was so arousing. What if I bent over and my panties shown? My heart pounded. After all, I am married and even my wife doesnāt know my secret desires. If she found out would I be relieved that she now knows, or will I freak out knowing I lost her and everything I had as a straight man and now I have to love as what everyone one thinks of me? Once they see my pink panties there is no way to explain that away no matter how much I would try, I am for them a sissy, gay, faggot, cross dresser, shemale, cuckold. And in a way, I am ok with that. Iāll still wear my sexy panties to work and keep my secret or until Iām busted, then it wonāt be a secret anymore.
I totally get you on how arousing the thrill of being caught can be. The “what if” fantasies that spill out can definitely be a lot of fun! I’m glad that you’ve felt empowered enough to explore those aspects of yourself safely though I’m sad to hear those fears over what negatives you think may happen from coming out. If it helps any, all of what you’ve described is exactly how I felt before coming out. Luckily, when I did come out to my partner, they were completely supportive and our sex lives exploded into queer kinkiness and greatness! Unfortunately, that’s not what happens for everybody though, being outted can sometimes end relationships and jeopardize jobs, so, I completely understand your hesitancy disclosing that to anybody. I’m glad that you are here though, reading, commenting, and sharing your experiences! Please consider this a completely safe space for your thoughts, fantasies, and emotions.
Thank you that helps a lot, I guess itās the not knowing how my family would react or friends especially the wife. But I want to come out already and if getting ābustedā is what is going to take to make that commitment then let I happen, I think, I know I will be extremely happy in the long run and I think I will feel for the first time that I am the really me, I will feel so liberated.
Thanks again
Nice selfie!
Thank you! It has always been one of my faves.