CW: images of girl cock, discussion of circumcision scars and damage.
For those who have been around these parts for a while, you already know that I love my girl cock.
It is an integral part of me and as a megaqueer, polyamorous andro-babe, who’s proudly reclaiming themself, I feel no need to have it removed because, fortunately, it brings me no dysphoria.
In fact, my girl cock brings me a great deal of pleasure and it has been through my exploration of that pleasure as a non-binary queer that I have come to understand myself fully as a sexual being for the first time ever in my life.
It has been a long, exhausting, challenging process, but I can honestly say that as of today I am the happiest that I’ve ever felt with my body and my identity. And to top it all off, I’m also the most fulfilled that I have ever been in my romantic and sexual relationships.
Fuck yeah!
But one thing does continue to really, REALLY fucking upset me…
I was circumcised.
I’m sorry, did I say “circumcised”? What I actually meant to say is that my girl cock was mutilated without my knowledge or consent through a shitty cosmetic procedure that my “father”, who has since disowned me for being the wrong kind of queer, had done on me so that my penis would vaguely look like his penis.
Further, the doctor that did it must have been in a fucking hurry cause not only are my circumcision scars pretty intense and uneven, but due to the sloppy job I also have some scars on my glans (penis head), skin pigmentation variations, a partially destroyed frenulum, and some skin tags (portions of the foreskin that weren’t removed properly).
Yay…
Believe me, the fucking shittiness of all that is not lost on me, nor is the irony that my father decided to circumcise me in the first place… especially considering that he’s since disowned me and very vocally disapproved of my transition in part because I wanted to keep my penis; whereas he felt that, if I was truly trans, I should want to have it removed.
Cause like, obviously, that’s what all trans people want, right?
There couldn’t possibly be trans folks who don’t desire surgical transition, right?
There couldn’t possibly be trans people who don’t fit the mainstream narrative of all trans people having “the wrong body” and thus needing a binary transition so that they can “pass” as the man or woman “they’ve always been”, right?
No, no. Of course not…
Well, fuck him and fuck the rest of society too. I’m keeping my fucking junk.
But fuck me too because here I sit with a scarred girl cock that my abusive dad had clamped and severed, when I had no chance to say otherwise about it, all to tickle his hubris.
Sure, I’ve come to love my girl cock despite all of that. And I certainly love taking pictures of it. I mean, look at it! It’s fucking pretty despite the scars.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t ask for this.
I didn’t ask for ANY of this.
I wish I still had all of my foreskin, that I had grown up with it, and that today I could look down and see my girl cock fully intact.
I wish that the doctor who delivered me had never held me up and proclaimed me to be a “healthy baby boy”.
But it happened. All of it did. And while there’s not much I can do about any of it now I sure as fuck ain’t going to let anyone tell me how I should transition or tell me what I should do with any part of my queer ass again.