My Happy Place is an 80s (Sex) Mansion

My counsellor recently asked me if there was any sort of  calming, happy place that I went to in my mind, or anywhere physically that I could occasionally visit to relax and recharge. Normally I’d have said no, because I’m not really one to have much of an emotional and sentimental connection to locations in general, but this time a place actually did flash in my mind.

The mansion.

If you’ve been reading the blog this summer then you’ve likely already seen me beaming about this place a few times. I first came to discover the mansion through my friend, Sarah, who run a private ethical polyamory & non-monogamy group online. She works at the mansion casually doing some cleaning which, in addition to decent pay, comes with the added bonus of her being able to rent the place for clothing & sex optional polyamory play parties!

I’ve been there a few times now, first enjoying some exhibitionist and voyeuristic fun with getting off in front of others, and watching them fuck, then shortly after having some hardcore group sex! In subsequent visits I’ve come to realize just how important being there has been for my dysphoria, anxiety, and general mental health and wellness overall.

I am genuinely SO grateful that this place exists and I’m SO thankful to the mansion’s owner for hosting these gatherings with Sarah in such welcoming, inclusive, consensual, informed, and respectful ways.

For Sinful Sunday and Masturbation Monday this week I thought I’d go over a few of the specific reasons the mansion has become such an important place to me as a queer, nonbinary, polyamorous nudist!

 

It’s a Safe Place to Swim

I LOVE to swim. Unfortunately, swimming as a gender nonconforming enby can be pretty rough as it’s essentially impossible to be yourself at any public pool without catching the judgemental and angry glares of basically everybody else there. So generally speaking I just don’t do it.

In fact, prior to going to the mansion, I’ve seriously only swam on 2 distinct occasions in the last decade and a half. Once was at a spa with some other trans friends in 2015, and once this Spring for an explicitly LGBTQ+ friendly swim prior to Pride Month starting this past June.

Now I’m going once, sometimes even twice, a month!

It’s been genuinely amazing finally being able to swim again. Made extra great by being able to do it in such a gorgeous saltwater pool in this fucking BEAUTIFUL home that also happens to include two hot tubs, and a sauna room, as well.

Fucking booya!

 

It’s a Safe Place to Indulge in Ethical Non-Monogamy

While I’ve been non-monogamous I haven’t really had a consistent outlet for exploring sex and play with others outside of some sexting online in recent years. Since starting to go to the mansion my group sex opportunities and chances for all sort of unique sexual encounters with folks has skyrocketed; which is pretty fucking great!

While there was one unfortunate situation of somebody turning me down in what ended up being a rather transphobic way (PRO-TIP: NEVER tell a nonbinary person, or any trans person for that matter, you’re not interested in them because of their “male shaped body”, just say “no thank you”) I haven’t felt disrespected or overtly misgendered by anyone else. Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say of almost all my other experiences in polyamorous and/or non-monogamous spaces, so, winning!

And with discussion of the next party including talk of some adult versions of “Spin the Bottle”, “Truth or Dare”, and “7 Minutes in Heaven”, and the mansion owner revealing he’s in possession of a Sybian… I’m pretty fucking stoked about all the potential fun still ahead!

Seriously, finally finding a safe space and group to explore sexual pleasure, without having to worry about the typical cisnormative or heteronormative aspects of a lot of non-monogamy gatherings, has been revolutionary.

 

It’s a Safe Place for Social Nudism & Ethical Exhibitionism

I’ve been a nudist for most of my adult life while living alone or with partners. I’m the type of person that strips down to the underwear, or less, almost immediately after getting home from work and if my weekend allows me to not get dressed at all while staying in, you can bet your ass I’ll be walking around with my hairy tits and pretty girl cock on full display.

I just love being naked!

I’ve often thought about how if I ever owned land or property outside of the city I’d just create a commune and be naked with all of my friends and partners all of the time. However, prior to the mansion I didn’t have much opportunity at all to be naked in a more social, group setting. Finding other people who also want to hang out, have a few drinks, play games, talk, eat food, etc. in various stages of undress has been really fucking lovely and affirming.

It’s especially great because Sarah has developed such great group rules for gatherings at the mansion. Not only is she VERY fucking clear in stating whether the event is clothing optional, sex optional, both, or neither, but there are laid out boundaries on which spaces are considered non-sexual and where anything more explicit can happen.

Further, active and enthusiastic consent is always a core requirement of all sexual, physical, social, and otherwise intimate interactions among guests.

All of that aside though, the mansion is also just generally one of the most relaxing places I’ve ever been. Between the incredibly gorgeous, scenic view of the Saskatchewan River behind it, the beautifully calm surrounding terrain away from city limits, and the unbelievable natural light you get in the interior of the building throughout the day, it’s fast become the place I picture as I close my eyes while I try grounding myself when I’m feeling overwhelmingly anxious or depressed.

What’s your happy place, friends?

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