My counselor recently asked me if there was any sort of calming, happy place that I went to in my mind, or anywhere physically that I could occasionally visit to relax and recharge. Normally I’d have said no, because I’m not really one to have much of an emotional and sentimental connection to locations in general, but this time a place actually DID flash in my mind.
If you’ve been reading the blog this summer then you’ve likely already seen me beaming about this place a few times. I first came to discover the mansion through my friends Emily and Jacob who run a private ethical polyamory & non-monogamy group online. Emily works at the mansion casually doing some cleaning which, in addition to decent pay, comes with the added bonus of her and Jacob being able to rent the place for clothing & sex optional polyamory play parties!
Fal and I have been there a few times now, first enjoying some exhibitionist and voyeuristic fun, then shortly after having a hardcore foursome with our pals, and in subsequent visits I’ve come to realize just how important being there has been for my dysphoria, anxiety, and general mental health and wellness overall.
I am genuinely SO grateful that this place exists and I’m SO thankful to the mansion’s owner for hosting these gatherings with Emily and Jacob in such welcoming, inclusive, consensual, informed, and respectful ways.
For Sinful Sunday and Masturbation Monday this week I thought I’d go over a few of the specific reasons the mansion has become such an important place to me as a queer, nonbinary, polyamorous nudist!
It’s a Safe Place to Swim
I LOVE to swim. Unfortunately, swimming as a gender nonconforming enby can be pretty rough as it’s essentially impossible to be yourself at any public pool without catching the judgemental and angry glares of basically everybody else there. So generally speaking I just don’t do it.
In fact, prior to going to the mansion, I’ve seriously only swam on 2 distinct occasions in the last decade and a half. Once was at a spa with some other trans friends in 2015, and once this Spring for an explicitly LGBTQ+ friendly swim prior to Pride Month starting this past June.
Now I’m going once, sometimes even twice, a month!
It’s been genuinely amazing finally being able to swim again. Made extra great by being able to do it in such a gorgeous saltwater pool in this fucking BEAUTIFUL home that also happens to include two hot tubs, and a sauna room, as well.
It’s a Safe Place to Indulge in Ethical Non-Monogamy
While I’ve been non-monogamous with Fal for quite some time, and that carried on into our polyamorous relationship with Kate, I haven’t really had a consistent outlet for exploring sex and play with others outside of some sexting online in recent years. Since starting to go to the mansion my group sex opportunities and chances for all sort of unique sexual encounters with folks has skyrocketed; which is pretty fucking great!
While there was one unfortunate situation of somebody turning me down in what ended up being a rather transphobic way (PRO-TIP: NEVER tell a nonbinary person, or any trans person for that matter, you’re not interested in them because of their “masc shaped body”, just say “no thank you”) I haven’t felt disrespected or overtly misgendered by anyone else though! Which is a hell of a lot more than I can say of almost all my other experiences in polyamorous and/or non-monogamous spaces, so, winning!
And with discussion of the next party including talk of some adult versions of “Spin the Bottle”, “Truth or Dare”, and “7 Minutes in Heaven”, and the mansion owner revealing he’s in possession of a Sybian… I’m pretty fucking stoked about all the potential fun still ahead!
Seriously, finally finding a safe space and group to explore sexual pleasure, without having to worry about the typical queerphobic and transphobic aspects of a lot of non-monogamy gatherings, has been revolutionary for both Fal and I this past summer.
It’s a Safe Place for Social Nudism & Ethical Exhibitionism
I’ve been a nudist for most of my adult life while living alone or with partners. I’m the type of person that strips down to the underwear, or less, almost immediately after getting home from work and if my weekend allows me to not get dressed at all while staying in, you can bet your ass I’ll be walking around with my hairy tits and pretty girl cock on full display.
I just love being naked!
Happy for me, Fal is also a big time nudist! We’ve often talked about how if we ever owned land and property we’d just create a commune and be naked with all of our friends and partners all of the time. However, prior to the mansion neither of us really had much opportunity at all to be naked and social with anyone but each other. Finding other people who also want to hang out, have a few drinks, play games, talk, eat food, etc. in various stages of undress has been really fucking lovely and affirming.
It’s especially great because Emily and Jacob have developed such great group rules for gatherings at the mansion. Not only are they VERY fucking clear in stating whether the event is clothing optional, sex optional, both, or neither, but there are laid out boundaries on which spaces are considered non-sexual, where you can do some above the waste playing, and where anything more explicit can happen.
Further, active and enthusiastic consent is always a core requirement of all sexual, physical, social, and otherwise intimate interactions among guests.
All of that aside though, the mansion is also just generally one of the most relaxing places I’ve ever been. Between the incredibly gorgeous, scenic view of the Saskatchewan River behind it, the beautifully calm surrounding terrain away from city limits, and the unbelievable natural light you get in the interior of the building throughout the day, it’s fast become the place I picture as I close my eyes while I try grounding myself when I’m feeling overwhelmingly anxious or depressed.
What’s your happy place, friends?
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21 thoughts on “My Happy Place is an 80s (Sex) Mansion”
Your writing is lovely and evocative and so beautifully honest plus I adore this picture! The pool water brings out your incredible eyes and pop of color in your hair is glorious You look like a merperson in their natural habitat. Incredible.
I don’t have a single happy place I go to but being around water, preferably a warm ocean, is definitely calming.
Although an 80s sex mansion maybe somewhere I could class as a happy place too!
You look super chilled and peaceful here, everyone needs a happy place x
I think having a happy (and safe!) place is really important, and I am so glad you have that.
Lovely image, great colours.
This makes me so happy that there are places like this in Canada. I have never known of any but I’m happy to know they exist 🙂
Yeah! There’s actually a few places like this out in the prairie provinces. There’s also a big BDSM Convention that runs outside Saskatoon at a not-publicly-disclosed location. These are ultra-conservative provinces but it’s really empowering to see despite all of that there are queer, trans, and polyamorous communities creating the spaces they need to be themselves and experience safe, affirming, respectful experiences of pleasure outside of the binary boxes.
I’m confident there are “sex mansions” (or houses, or farms, or wherever people can host these things) in EVERY province, they are just not put out there too much because society is still super shitty about sex and “non-traditional” relationship structures and stuff.
Yay for horny queers making it work still! LOL
This is awesome. I’m super happy for you. I would have loved to find or check out a place like this when I was active in the Polyam community.
Love the pic btw. You look so relaxed and color/light is fun.
It’s such a great feeling to find a place where you can truly be yourself. To be able to share it with the best of people, makes it that much more special.
Such an amazing selfie, your eyes are stunning, especially with your hair! 🙂
I don’t know I have a happy place but I have definitely had places where I have felt hugely happy and content. I think I can add Miami to that list
So many vibrant colours in this picture, and the look on your face is one of calm. Really like it 🙂
Thank you so much for saying so, May! My eyes and eyelashes are honestly my favorite features.
Sounds like an amazing place! There just aren’t enough places we can truly be ourselves, without judgement.
COMPLETELY agree! I wish everybody who needed it could have access to a similar space. Having the ability to be myself, experience pleasure, and be in my skin, shame-free, is really revolutionary for me and I feel so fortunate to have found a place for that.
Sounds like a wonderful place, and such a lovely image
It really is, wish I could share it with you all too! And thank you!
It sounds a wonderful place. I just love the contrasting colours of your hair and the pool here. Great photo xx
It really is! And thank you so much, I’m really proud of how it turned out! Definitely in my personal top 5 favorite pics I’ve taken so far this year 😊
I can really see the peace in your face in this photo, it’s lovely. 🙂
Interestingly it’s one of VERY few selfies that was literally one take! Feel super fortunate to have caught such a genuine moment like that 😊❤