There have been a lot of iterations of Snowfall over the years, but this one right here is my absolute favourite. Up until recently they sort of existed in a weird limbo of representing an idealized version of myself that actually wasn’t really me. Looking back on all of the art of them, I’m a little sad that they’ve changed so much, and that I leaned so heavily into them essentially being my transition goals. Now that I’m no longer taking HRT, and I’ve shifted my focus more onto exploring queer masculinity through a gender nonconforming lens, and that I’m learning to love my body more as a 40-year-old nonbinary bear, it’s a little sad to me that Snowfall’s whole development hinged on something that
Not that I completely regret any of the older Snowfall art. Seeing them in this increasingly femme form, sporting large breasts and wide hips and other traits I thought would possibly make me feel sexier and more desirable, helped me realize that medically transitioning actually wasn’t right for me. Now that my partner is drawing Snowfall to represent me in the now, and to explore gender nonconformity as a fabulous, fat, older queer, I’m feeling a lot better about both them and myself.
And just like with the piece the did of Malbec in my jockstrap a while ago, getting a draw-over is always an amazing way of seeing your body in another light. I mean, holy fuck do they look incredible and sexy and confident and cute! And if I’m thinking Snowfall is all those things, then I’m thinking that I am too.
Because this IS me, even with Snowfall painted over.
Be sure to follow my partner, Dilutedghost/Fen on Instagram, and check out their Telegram channel too! They’re always taking commissions and selling cute character adopts!
My second book, Carry On: Unpacking Your Internalized Transphobic and Queerphobic Baggage, is officially out on shelves! I hope you consider picking it up and checking it out for yourself. You can also preorder my third book, Nonmonogamy and Queer Inclusivity, which releases November 3rd, 2026.
If you’d like to support my 2SLGBTQ+ based writing, advocacy, and education work please consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi!