One of the most essential parts of reclaiming autonomy over myself as a queer enby was taking back the language used to describe my body. The ways that I had referred to my penis and other parts of my body, prior to coming out, obviously no longer felt comfortable. Yet because I wasn’t transitioning from one binary gender to another, the alternative words for cis fem genitalia weren’t appropriate either.
I’m a lewd, rude, gender fucking queer with a penis and I needed something appropriately empowering, gay as fuck, and subversive to refer to my bod!
But for queer and trans folks, finding existing, or creating new, language to describe ourselves when we exist outside of the binary can be really hard. Especially when we’re confronted by constant criticism, mockery, minimization, annoyance, and even anger for daring to ask that others respect our autonomy and the language we use to describe our physical form.
But fuck ’em! It’s not FOR them, it’s for you. You’re fully in your right to use whatever language you’d like to refer to yourself and if somebody isn’t going to respect that then they can suck farts.
Here are a whole bunch of words, terms, titles, and more that I’ve seen other trans, enby, genderqueer, genderfluid, and gender non-conforming folks use to refer to their genitals. I hope that one speaks to you, or puts you on your way to discovering the words that make you feel best:
NOTE: There aren’t ANY rules about who can and can’t use these words or terms for their genitals. So, don’t let any toxic gatekeeping keep you from using something that feels affirming and empowering.
If you’ve been reading my content for practically any length of time you’ve no doubt seen my refer to my penis as my girl cock. It just clicked for me early on in my transition a few years ago and I’ve been happily using it ever since. I love how subversive of the binary it feels, and it has certainly enraged some of my cis dude haters, which is legitimately an added bonus for me.
There are so many more variants of that idea you can use though! Some are more gender subversive word combos, others are reclaimed slurs (such as with “shenis” which is sometimes applied by cis people in a derogatory way).
- “clit dick”, aka “click”
- “girl cock” or “femme / fem cock”
- “boy pussy” / “boy cunt”
- “boygina” / “bussy”
- “trap dick”, aka “trick”
Just like you might refer to your partner as “babe”, “hun”, “angel”, “sweet thang”, whatever, you can also give a pet name to your genitals too. There are ALL sorts of routs you can take here from terms of endearment, to repurposed words, and even just bringing back old-school slang. Here are some ideas:
- “hen” (instead of “cock”)
- “fellow traveler”
- “instigator” aka “inciter”
- “fuck” / “sex”
- “beast” / “monster”
Get really weird with it too, if that’s your shit! I’ve also heard folks use things like “cocktopus”, “groinulars”, “fandanglies”, “dark below”, “ominous parts”, etc. A lot of people really like naming their genitals after fictional characters or creatures too.
Titles and Honorifics
Nothing hitting you yet? Why not try something more official sounding then! Give your bits a flash of “class” and power with:
- “holiness” (yeah, I said it!)
- “fearless hero”
- “guardian of my pants”
- “herald of orgasms”
- “seeker of the-“
Okay now I’m just tossing out MMO-RPG character titles… which I also highly recommend googling for ideas!
Just The Basics
Keep it simple if you want! Especially if your genitals are a source of dysphoria, or you just don’t really fucking care but you don’t want it called any of the anatomical words. Try referring to them as your:
- “genitals” / “crotch”
- “privates” / “privy”
Throw in some adjectives if you want to make ’em a bit flashier, like calling it your “danger zone”, “pleasure parts”, “fun area”, or “dirty goods” etc.
Or, use a variety of words and terms, maybe listed here or from somewhere else, to come up with something completely your own!
Just remember, nobody gets to define your body but you, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.