My body is sore, I’m tired, irritable, ravenously snackish, grumpy, emotional, defensive, and it feels like everything is conspiring against me. The sensations aren’t entirely new, but they’ve been happening more and more often, almost every month at this point. And each time it feels like my world is unravelling around me. Like all my progress toward positive personal growth and mental health self-care was for naught, and I’m going to spiral into an abyss of ever worsening depression and despair.
And then the cramping pain starts in my abdomen.
Fen laughs. Not in a “haha fuck you” way, it’s more of a “oh Nillin, you ignorant slut” laugh. A chuckle, really.
It hadn’t fully occurred to me, despite all my research and everything my doctor explained to me before I started HRT last fall, that I may start having periods. I mean, I have a penis and no ovaries so, like, how could I? Yet here I am, experiencing PMS symptoms even though menstruation isn’t going to come.
Bodies are wild, y’all! At least it also comes with rabid horniness.
In other news, I’m excited to announce that my second book, Carry On: Unpacking Your Internalized Transphobic and Queerphobic Baggage, is available for preorder! It comes out on March 20th, 2026. You can also preorder my third book, Nonmonogamy and Queer Inclusivity, which releases April 27th, 2026.
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