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A Queer With a Beard

Posted on May 1, 2022January 20, 2023 by MxNillin

As a non-binary queer with a beard who constantly gets misgendered all the tme, it’s important to me that if I’m going to have my identity consistently misunderstood and dismissed, then at the very least I want to look and feel queer as fuck. I want to be able to catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a window and “okay, holy fuck, wow, I’m fucking gay!”

There’s a real sort of power to being a fat, hairy, bearded human who blatantly, and self-assuredly embraces their gender non-conformity and fuckery. It’s something I’ve seen in some others and strive to embody in myself as well.

Sadly, I’ve struggled with that a lot for various reasons as of late. Namely in that since my separation and weight gain during the pandemic I haven’t really had a lot in the way of affirming clothes that makes me feel cute and awesome. Lucky for me, what I do have is a bunch of loving partners with a great sense of style to help me make what I do have work more for me!

For example, my boyfriend Fenric has been doing some outstandingly homoerotic makeup on me, helping get those already stunning eyes of mine to pop extra hard. It’s made a massive difference to me and has helped me re-frame my perspective on my own gender expression, which I’ve been feeling really insecure in for quite a while now.

I know that logically there is no one way to “look queer/non-binary”, but the problem is I haven’t been feeling it either. To a degree, I think that I went back into the closet a little bit, at least to myself. Definitely a trauma response, for sure, but it’s well past time I really reclaim my gender, re-connect with myself, and prioritize some loving, affirming self-care and self-talk.

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Related

  • body positivity
  • Fenric
  • gender feels
  • gender fuckery
  • my transition
  • non-binary
  • personal
  • 8 thoughts on “A Queer With a Beard”

    1. Molly says:
      May 4, 2022 at 6:42 am

      The make up is absolutely on point. Your eyes have always been utterly captivating but the make up really does seem to be bring our their beauty even more. Oh and that picture of you and Fenric melts my heart. You look utterly perfect together

      Molly

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        May 4, 2022 at 3:21 pm

        Thank you so much, Molly! And we really are perfect together ❤️ They’ve brought so much into my life in such a short time, it’s amazing.

        Reply
    2. slave sindee says:
      May 3, 2022 at 10:44 pm

      You are one hot sexy human being. love the make up and outfit and your sexy friend (Fenric) is hot

      Reply
      1. MxNillin says:
        May 4, 2022 at 4:24 pm

        Aww thank you! And yeah I have the best boyfriend, love him so much 🥰

        Reply
    3. Bee says:
      May 3, 2022 at 11:28 am

      I hear you loud and clear, so many people see me, make assumptions and misgendering. I’m not sure I even know what I can do to avoid it to be honest.

      But you look queer as fuck to me!

      Reply
    4. mywildlens says:
      May 2, 2022 at 7:28 am

      It looks amazing! I’m so glad that you are feeling ready to prioritise self care and reconnect with yourself.

      Reply
    5. Focused and Filthy says:
      May 1, 2022 at 3:14 pm

      That make up and outfit are fabulous! You look (and I hope feel) really sexy.
      Missy x

      Reply
    6. Victoria Blisse says:
      May 1, 2022 at 3:10 pm

      Your eyes really do pop with that awesome make up!

      Reply

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