3 Quick Tips for Planning an Orgy

I love planning sex parties. Be it a sexy Goddess worship themed Birthday for one of my closest friends, a gangbang for my  birthday, or a full on orgy of 20+ people, because fuck it, we deserve this, I’ve had a lot of experience when it comes to helping people come together, to cum together!

Obviously, as should be common with these sort of things, there’s been a lot of learning along the way. Luckily none of it was too hard of a lesson, but that’s only because I had friends who’d also been planning sex parties that I could turn to for advice and guidance. But not everybody has access to those connections!

From those early brainstorming moments, to the actually scheduling and inviting of participants, here are 3 important things to keep in mind:

 

1. Get Some Group Play Experience First.

Look, jumping right into organizing an orgy if you haven’t really had much group sex yourself can be pretty fucking daunting. Fact is that the more experiences you have with swinging, threesomes, foursomes, gangbangs, dogging, etc. the more you’ll know about the difference between good, respectful, safe, fulfilling group sex experiences and toxic as fuck ones. I’m not saying you have to train for years or something, but getting a real solid gauge of the good, bad, and downright fucking awful first goes a long way. Not that I wish the latter on anyone, of course.

 

2. Yes, You Should  Overthink the Guest List.

If your whole purpose for organizing an orgy is for your personal sexual satisfaction, with all your invitees consisting of people that you personally want to fuck that night, then you’re doing it for the wrong reasons and need to reassess. An orgy, while in part all about revelry in pleasure, isn’t the place to centre yourself. That’s what gangbangs and birthdays are form. Orgies are supposed to be for everyone you invite to have, ideally, a safe place where they can explore their sexuality and share in a respectful group experience with other people.

Just to re-cap that bit because it’s fucking important: the guest list shouldn’t be about you.

At least not entirely, or even mostly, that is. I mean, sure, if there’s a cutie you want to invite because you think they may have fun, are body and sex positive, and you are confident they wouldn’t push anyone’s boundaries, then go ahead! But make sure you also consider all that other shit too, because fact is that you  are accountable for the safety of your guests as their host. They’re putting a lot of trust in you by agreeing to attend.

Don’t take it for granted.

You gotta be as absolutely fucking certain of each and every one of your invited guests as you possibly can, which means personally vetting each and every one of them as best as you can.

Worst case scenario is, yeah, pretty bad at an event that’s this vulnerable and intimate by nature. Like, if you have queer folks mixed with people you think might be a little homophobic and/or transphobic, or you invite your low-key sexist buddy whose got a reputation for not holding his liquor well, then chances are pretty good that your orgy is going to be at least a bit of a shitshow.

When it comes down to it, you gotta decide right up front if you want your orgy to be body positive, consent guided, pleasure informed, non-toxic, and queer and trans inclusive, which I sincerely hope you do, and then plan your invites accordingly.

NOTE: Biggest thing I can recommend is to keep your guest list closed, and invite only, with maybe a +1 allowed that they have to clear by you first. Consider having some questions prepared to ask that are designed to give you a good idea of the ideals, motivations, boundaries, consent understanding, etc. that the person has.

 

3. Know Your Host Responsibilities.

Seriously. Much like the guest list, everything else that’s going on is your responsibility as host as well, and that includes the venue choice, sound mitigation, event rules, food and water considerations, emergency preparedness, drinking and driving protocols, conflict mitigation plans, etc.

A few specific things to consider might be:

• Is the space you’re going to utilize physically secure? Is it in a house? A rental space? An apartment? Is it accessible to people who may have physical limitations? Are you able to lock the front door, close the blinds, and/or control sound to any degree?
• Will condoms, lube, barriers, etc. be available or is that a responsibility of individuals?
• Will alcohol, or other substance use, be allowed? If so, will your or somebody else be sober enough to keep an eye on things in terms of watching for possible consent violations, over drinking, and/or impaired drivers?
• Will it be kink friendly? To ALL kinks? Would that include impact (spanking, caning, whipping, etc.), bondage, edge play (knives), watersports (piss), age play dynamics, furries, etc.? Be clear about it.
• What happens if an abusive ex or partner shows up? What happens if somebody commits a consent violation? What happens if drugs that you’re not expecting are present and in use? Will you have a naloxone kit on hand in case of an emergency?
• Have you taken the necessary steps to ensure that anonymity is being respected for those who can’t be out about their sex lives? What about selfies and pictures? Will people be allowed to take them? Will they not?
• Have you had the big consent talk and set expectations for behaviour that won’t be accepted?

It goes beyond all of that too. Like, is there a first aid kit there? Do you know where the emergency exits are should they be needed?

It’s your orgy, so, you  need to know!

 

There you have it! A few basics to get you on your way. No go forth and fuck you cute little sinner, you!

Have any other tips you’d like to share, please post them in the comments below.