As a very introspective and self-reflective person I tend to spend a lot of time musing on my relationships and friendships, as well as the needs, wants, boundaries, desires, and expectations that frame them. So, when I saw Molly Moore‘s recent post “Bucket, Fuck and Christmas Lists”
It actually reminded me of how I used to do a Fucket List around this time of year too. In those I’d lay out some of the specific sexual experiences that I wanted to experience over the following year and then I’d reflect on it once it was time to make new goals, however, after not really achieving much from either of my lists for 2017 or 2018 I abandoned the concept.
But I really liked Molly’s approach of making it about the life, career, and home that she hopes to build, as well as the emotional and sexual experiences she hopes to have.
Bucket List
Generally speaking I want to approach this next decade with the overarching goal of really bolstering my relationships and friendships in ways that are emotionally, affectionately, and sexually (when that’s part of a bond) fulfilling, while also allowing space for dynamics to grow and change as naturally and uninhibited as possible. I want to foster strong communication, trust, honesty, and a sense of family in my polycule and with those closest to me.
Additionally, I hope to get more secure work in my field of expertise, make some money from blogging to help with the costs of running the site, get out of Saskatchewan more with Fal, and experience more of Canada.
Here are some of my goals, hopes, and dreams in those areas for the next decade:
1 year
- Secure a job in my field for the year.
- Get away somewhere out of province for a few days with Fal.
- Go camping! I’ve still never been camping…
- Date more cute queer folks and foster fulfilling polyamorous bonds.
- Film some sexually explicit content with Fal, and other play friends, to sell.
- Get into better shape for myself, I want to feel more comfortable and confident in my body while re-approaching my gender feels with a non-conforming lens.
2-5 years
- Write and get my queer polyamory book published.
- Submit more queer erotica stories to other erotica anthologies.
- Host a “sex summit” at the mansion.
- Save up for a decent used car for around town.
- Get a tattoo.
- Find ways and opportunities to meet some of my sex blogging friends and peers.
- Make some fucking money from blogging.
- Visit a nudist or naturalist community.
- Take some sketching/drawing classes.
6-10 years (or sooner!)
- Get to the UK to visit Quinn and as many other bloggers as possible!
- See the ocean. I’ve never seen the ocean.
- Visit and spend some time out in Halifax and around the Maritimes (would also help me see the ocean lol).
- Be able to make a career out of writing about, and providing education on, queer and trans centric sexual health and wellness.
- Adopt and/or foster kids.
Fucket List
The 2010s have contained by far the best sex that I have ever had in my life. Between my amazing partner, Fal, and various lovers and play friends such as Rowan, Emily, Jacob, Taylor, Kate, Kris, and Quinn, among others, I’ve generally had it pretty fucking lucky.
I’ve had copious amounts of group sex, great exhibitionism experiences, gone to sex parties at mansions, explored casual/social nudism, had orgasms in countless semi-public places, and generally have learned more about my body, pleasure, as well as sexual health and wellness than I’ve ever known before.
On top of that, up until just a few days ago I had long term goals of wanting to participate in a gangbang and an orgy at some point in the next decade but to my pleasant fucking surprise I ended up having both just last week for Christmas!
So, when it comes to the 2020s then, I basically just hope to continue living my best, queer, polyamorous and non-monogamous life! I just want to keep having great sex with my partner and good friends, while maybe meeting some new folks to have fun with. As previously mentioned, I’m also hoping to date more and generally be open to relationships and dynamics developing however it is that that do.
So, here are some of my more specific sexual, emotional, and affectionate wants for the next year and a bit:
1 year
- Find somebody I mesh with lots as a FWBs for hangouts, makeouts, sex, and snuggles.
- Cuddle and be affectionate with more people.
- Masturbate and have sex outdoors a LOT more.
- Have more fun group sex with Fal and/or my other friends!
- Introduce more roleplay into the sex I have (Dr. Nillin, pet play, consensual non-consent, etc.)
- Bring “Mx NIllin Fucks” back to the sex blog and attempt to masturbate with more ridiculous inanimate objects.
- Build up my collection of slutty lingerie (bralettes and panties with cock room) that make me feel good.
Literally whenever possible…
- Have somebody cum on my face, then take a selfie.
- Experience a hands-free, prostate orgasm.
- Get buttfucked!
- Host or attend a masturbation party.
- Fuck, or be fucked by, somebody in a murrsuit (full or partial).
- Try as many of the 245+ sex positions that I possibly can from SexPositions.Club
- Attend a sex conference.
- Fuck somewhere with an incredible scenic view.
- Participate in MORE orgies and gangbangs!
Of course, it’s important to acknowledge that all of this is framed by my needs, wants, desires, and dreams right now. I don’t intend to treat ANY of the above as 100% necessary to my happiness or self worth because fact is that life happens. Things change, opportunities arise, some things don’t work out how you hoped, and surprises come into your world when you least expect them to.
I fully intend to roll with things so long as they bring me, and those I share my life with, joy.