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Fuck That Noise

Posted on February 26, 2019April 14, 2020 by MxNillin

Welcome to Day 26 of February Photofest 2019 on MxNillin.com

 

[CONTENT NOTE: this post contains negative self-talk and transphobic self-deprecating comments that may be triggering or upsetting to some readers, particularly trans or gender diverse folks.]

“You’re fat, and hairy, and disgusting, and full of shit and nobody actually thinks you’re attractive at all. How the fuck could they? Just look at you,” says the negative self-talk voice in my head.

“You’re a shitty writer, and not even really trans because you’re not on HRT and you don’t want bottom surgery and you’re making everything worst for real trans people you fucking fake ass poser piece of shit,” says the aggressively cruel imposter syndrome echoing inside me.

“You’re just a fat gross man pervert and you need to fuck off and stop wasting everyone’s time,” says my anxiety, echoing TERF and the generally transphobic rhetoric.

Fuck. That. Noise.

I’m tired of being my own, worst hater.

And for the first time in years I feel like I finally have some tools to combat those shitty moments. That’s what participating in February Photofest this year has done for me. Its given me an entire months worth of uplifting and affirming self-love content to look back on that I can then use to help pull myself out of the real bad lows!

So, the next time those invasive thoughts creep into my head I’m coming back here and I’m looking at these posts and reading them. I’m going to go through all the encouraging and flirty comments that fellow sex bloggers and readers have left and really take them in.

And I’m going to tell my inner hater to get fucked cause I’m a fucking hotty!

For more trans body positivity here on the blog, check out:

– Some Feels on Weight Gain, Dysphoria, and Passing Pressure

– How I Learned to Let Go of the Hate and Learn to Love My Hairy Tits

– A Me I’ve Never Seen

– A Look of My Own

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow for a new photo! To see unused pics from this month, advanced previews of posts, and behind the scenes content, become a patron on my Patreon.

And be sure to click the logos below to see content from other bloggers participating in these events!

 

February Photofest

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  • 3 thoughts on “Fuck That Noise”

    1. Nikki says:
      March 2, 2019 at 8:17 am

      Yessss! My inner hater is a bully cunt like yours. So glad you are learning to tell it to fuck the fuck off too. It’s a hard one, I’m learning, but I agree that things like the photofest (and the photo project I’m doing) can really help you gain a little perspective. Thanks for sharing! Keep up the important work!

      Reply
    2. Dr. Vixenne says:
      February 26, 2019 at 8:45 pm

      I would guess that your sharing this sentiment will (if it hasn’t already) resonate with some people who are struggling with the same stuff, impostor syndrome and all. Keep being you.
      Also sexy bath time is sexy. <3

      Reply
      1. Mx Nillin says:
        February 26, 2019 at 8:50 pm

        I hope it did, and I hope it encourages them to tell their inner bullies to take a fucking hike too! LOL
        And heck yeah it is, love me some sexy bath and shower time 😉

        Reply

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