I’ve been wanting to write this post for a quite while, but have put it off because I was worried it might feel, or even just seem like, I’m trying to justify myself as a non-monogamous person vs celebrating it. That’s what I want to do here, celebrate my nonmonogamy while providing insight into my own feelings around it; which I hope maybe resonates for you in an affirming way!
What It really comes down to is that I love meeting new people and having new experiences. Especially with trans and nonbinary queers! There are just so many cute, creative, passionate, caring, and inspiring ones out there and they all have such unique personalities, hobbies, skills, and perspectives. I want to meet them, learn from them, converse with them, and get to know them! And yeah, ideally, cuddle, kiss, and have sex with a bunch of them too.
Sensuality and sexual intimacy are supremely important things to me. Not just because they feel good (I’m a big fan) but because sex, sexuality, pleasure, and connection are also my special interests. I’ve been writing about all of that stuff for a decade now, and was thinking about it and reading up on it for years before that too. Between posting about sexuality, transition, and my own intimate relationships here on the blog, as well as writing trans and nonbinary queer erotica, and writing my book “How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers“, all of this is genuinely an enormous passion of mine that I take quite seriously. Relationships fascinate me! As do bodies. And nothing quite gets me excited, inspired, and engaged like sharing in some affection and pleasure with others. Be that as FWBs, date friends, or casual cuddle buddies, I want it all!
I’ve spent so much of my life denying myself the experiences and connections I’ve really craved, in closets, in abusive relationships, all while trying my best to just figure my needs and wants out amidst it all, that nowadays I don’t want to feel like I can’t seek out any of those bonds. I need to feel like I have complete autonomy, that I can ethically explore unique intimate relationships, and that I’m able to allow friendships to develop and grow in whatever ways feel good and enjoyable.
Of course, the trick is also having a good balance because I also have two absolutely incredible partners, Fen and Verne, who I love very much and who make me feel so safe, affirmed, uplifted, and able to freely be my unhindered self. The goal is to avoid polysaturating (having an abundance of partners and connections to excess, which then makes it difficult for you to focus on your relationships in the ways that are needed) myself, while still being open to allowing a little room for meaningful and enjoyable bonds as they come!
And also maybe having a whole lot of groups sex… cause like… when you’re tight on time you can always fuck two queers with one bone! Heyooooo!