If I’m being completely honest, having “my own” kids has never really truly been a need or want of mine. Years ago I had talked about it with my ex-spouse some and agreed to try, mostly because they really wanted to raise children of their own, but it never happened for us and I just wasn’t ever really as excited about it as they were.
There was a part of me that thought I should be though!
I thought a lot about legacy and what impact I would leave on the world in my time. We’re told from a young age that, one day, we’ll all get married, have kids, and pass the world on to them and they would carry on out family name. Yet, when it came to my life goals, stuff that brought me joy, and experiences I felt essential to my happiness and wellness, parenthood just was never one of those things. Not to mention I was disowned by my father, sister, and rest of my extended family for being trans queer, so, there’s no name to carry forward. No traditional family “legacy”.
Besides, I just don’t want a baby!
The last few years have just further entrenched those feelings for me. I live a very, very fulfilling life right now! I have 6 amazing partners, a bunch of FWBs, I get to attend and host semi-regular sex parties and orgies, I’m an award winning sex blogger, a published erotica author, and I’m currently in the process of building my career as an anthology editor and book writer!
If I were to have kids now, or at any point within the near or distant future, all of that would likely be over. I simply wouldn’t have the time for all of these amazing relationships, wouldn’t have the freedom to continue this exciting sex life, and I sure as hell couldn’t focus on following my writing dreams as I’d have to shift gears to afford supporting and keep another living being alive.
That uh… that doesn’t really sound that great to me, if I’m being honest! I don’t want to trade out anything that I have in my life right now. I love my life!
Besides, my legacy is right here on this blog. It’s in the books that I write, and in the communities that I’ve aided through my advocacy and activism. I’ve seen the impact of my efforts in those who reach out expressing thanks for the content I produce. Who tell me how much it’s had an impact on their own pleasure, relationships, emotional development, etc. And knowing that I’ve help others in whatever small way I can by sharing myself and living authentically to me, brings me profound amounts of joy!
All in all, I think that I’ve really found my calling, my passion, my purpose, if you will, and getting a vasectomy will be a substantial step toward ensuring that I can continue to live the life that I want to live, with the people I want to be with, doing the work that I want to do.
The appointment isn’t set yet, but it will be soon and I’m honestly thrilled! I’ve never been more completely sure of something than I am of this. It is one of the most important decision I’ve ever made for myself, and I couldn’t be more excited! This just feels right and I am happy, y’all.
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