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Tag: personal

The 35-Year-Old Queer

Posted on July 30, 2021September 8, 2021 by MxNillin

Hi! I turned 35 a couple of days ago on Wednesday! For some, that’s a big cause for celebration but unfortunately I always get really, really fucking sad on my birthdays for some reason. Not 100% sure why but it’s a consistent enough thing for me that I often also see a pretty big drop…

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I Have a Squish on You: Feels From Inside of an Aromantic Crush

Posted on July 11, 2021July 12, 2021 by MxNillin

Not too long ago I wrote about how I experienced “love” as an aromantic queer, and as part of the discussion that arose with friends and peers afterward I was often asked about whether or not I had ever had a crush on somebody or not. And like, yeah, just not in the way that…

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Beach Gay

Posted on June 12, 2021October 13, 2021 by MxNillin

I used to avoid any and all pools and beaches as much as I possibly could because I’ve never felt comfortable with my body, or with any of the bathing suits I ever owned. For some reason I’ve always felt more vulnerable in a bathing suit than I ever have in any lingerie or even…

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The Aftershocks of Toxic Masculinity

Posted on April 18, 2021April 19, 2021 by MxNillin

So, I recently blogged about impotence and sexual dysfunction, and while I’m really happy with how the piece turned out overall I did want to explore it on a more personal level than that last write up really allowed for. Because impotence and performance anxiety struggles, for me at least, are really complicated things deeply…

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I’m Aromantic and Here’s What Love Means to Me

Posted on April 10, 2021April 10, 2021 by MxNillin

While I’ve thought a LOT about my sexual orientation and gender over the years, romantic orientation was never really something I actually put much thought or consideration into as a part of my identity until recently. For most of my life I just assumed that everybody ultimately wanted a romantic relationships with romantic partners and…

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